h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a f*****g horrible day at work!

The boss pulled me and Twatface into a meeting because he was fed up of our faces tripping us all week and said we had to sort out our differences. I was quite happy to do this whilst Twatface sat through the meeting and said bugger all. So him and I sat down alone to talk things through and I hope we have everything sorted out. I just wasn't happy at being treated like a kid, seeing as my boss had a bit of a go at me over something really minor (and I was in the right over anyway, but hey - he's the one that brings the money in, not me) as he pointed out and I'm just a pleb.

And then I was pulled into another meeting by one of the partners. Earlier on in the day he'd come to ask for my help as his secretary was off today. I replied by going 'well, it depends, I dunno....' in a lighthearted manner, as my workmates are normally pretty laid back and relaxed. Not so, it seems. He told me that he didn't appreciate that remark and was expecting me to say 'yes, I'll help you'. I did agree to help (as I always do when he asks me for help) but that seems to have been forgotten.

So, to recap - I got into trouble for standing up for myself and trying to be friendly.

Twats.

Utter twats.



If I'm lucky, my boss speaks to me once a week. If I'm unlucky, he speaks to me more often.

RF

Lucky you - I sit right next to my boss. What pisses me off is when he's got a face as long as the Royal Mile that's okay, but if I go into work and I'm not smiling (and I've had a lot on my mind this week with one thing and another) that's not okay.

My boss only speaks to employees with ladybumps.

RF

I take it we hate Twatface?

I sympathise. Seems the wrong people get to be boss's, usually on the backs of other's input and hard work. Don't mind me, I'm just bitter and twisted!

Thank **** for Fridays huh?

Barstards. I'm glad that my boss isn't in much. He always makes me feel queasy.

Granted, my boss does work really hard but he's not the easiest person to work with. He's had many secretaries (which I was warned about on my first day) and I can now see why.

And yes, we do hate Twatface. But time will tell if the heart to heart really worked!

"ladybumps"!!!!!

Oh i like that expression!



zdt

Mrs. B, I have a pair of cufflinks...on one is engraved "Bitter". Some (naive) people ask me what's on the other cufflink "is it Lager?"

Of course not. It says "Twisted".

RF

There's a guy at my work too. It doesn't help that my bumps are pretty ample, in fact it can be quite annoying when he's staring at me when I'm trying to make a cup of tea.

I've just imagined that bloke on Black Books when Fran starts an office job. The bloke who plays with his balls at the water machine.

"Ladybumps" - I thought you meant women who were pregnant.

Bitter and twisted is no bad thing to be, just misunderstood is all.

Come to think of it, my office does seem to look similar to that office in Black Books, all sterile and uniform. We even have uniform trays and stationery holders...

Are Twatface and boss like Spotty and Fatty from Frans office?

>> "Ladybumps" - I thought you meant women who were pregnant. <<

Ah, young Footbacon..so young, so naive. You have ladybumps...2 of them is the normal number.

RF

Well, my boss is overweight but I wouldn't say fat. I do like to give people names though. It helps me through the days.

I'm having twins?!

"2 of them is the normal number."

And 3 is the magic number. Yes it is, it's the magic number.

Yes, Footbacon. You're having

RF

Greedy cow!