h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

well since most of us are in general agreement that the universe came from one big band a few billion years ago perhaps we're all just a part of a very large firework diplay. we can't see it all because the light takes too long to travel that distance and we're not affected by the gravity because the other bits are all too far away (including the odd huge oxygen atom etc). the beings watching this display perhaps detect light and things in a different way at a different speed (i mean, they are very big)

perhaps in fact we're a part of an earth firework display - this earth and the whole universe is in one big eternal loop. my guess would be the firework display on 5thn november in grimsby. there must be some reason for grimsby.

a big band? .... like glen millar or something!

hee hee - cheered me up no end after a really crappy day!

enjoy yourself here!


W****E (always making spelling and grammer mistakes, clumsy and always falling over!)

when i wrote it, i obviously meant big bang, but replacing that for big band gives an otherwise sound theory a surreal air. it also gives a reason for glenn miller, which, in itself is handy. maybe this theory could explain more than i had originally hoped. i'll be giving a good reason for anne widdecombe next...

thom

is there a good answer for anne widdicomb, except an abhorrant act of nature?

so how would your theory of the big band go?

maybe, in fact the whole universe is actually a phenomenally detailed globule of spit being shot out of a trumpet during the solo from "in the mood". this, of course, to keep in with the original theory, would have to be performed in Grimsby. I'll have to check some Glenn Miller sites to make sure he performed in Grimsby or I'll look mighty stupid when I present this to the scientific community.

Maybe Anne Widdecombe's significance comes from her extraordinary similarity to a globule of spit.
thom

I thought you'd got for a more tolkien-esque explination... you know, mr miller was the first and as the first, created life with the notes of the music of swing... man, probably while in grimsby (i've never gotten past page 2 of Silmarillion - so no idea what happens after that) you've really got to check your facts for this sort of thing

Anne Widdicombe ... while chocking on a sweetie, glen accidently let out a long, terrible, blood-curdling note from his trombone (did glen miller actually play any instruments?) and the bride of frankenstein was born

That has a nice, religious air to it. That kind of makes Ms Widdecombe a sort of Eve-like character almost - an early creation by the universe-maker Glenn Miller. Maybe Anne Widdecombe is the Mother of the Universe and Glenn Miller the father. I guess that would explain war and famine and death and things like that.

how scary.
thom

although in order to have sin in the world, the eve/widdicombe combo would have to bring it into the world. Couldn't really imagine adam wanting to shag her, could you?

fair point.
maybe god invented artificial insemination to get the ball rolling.
thom