h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What with my parents getting older, I thought it might be a good time to talk about their families before the information died with them. Dad was an only child and I know next to nothing about his family. I gave a friend their birth details and within a couple of hours she had traced people back to 1805 and I suddently have more of a picture of where I came from. When I told my dad, he was really excited. Seems on the patriarchal side, we come from Herefordshire of gamekeeping stock. Talking to my mum, I find that my son's name is a family name, which I don't think I knew before. I'm really impressed with my friend's research skills.

In a private email you can tell me your son's name and I can tell you Shnook's name.
I accidently used a very old family name as my my daughter's middle name. It was my granma's middle name, but I chose it because her first name Ercel was unacceptable to me, as was my other granma's, Lethel.

A distant family member sent me a photo of the original owner of the name I chose for Shnookses middle name. Later on a family website I found a photo of the birthplace of that lady.

Unfortunately I can't find the pile of letters and photos my mother sent years ago talking about a family pile of stones called a castle that once belonged to a distant family member in Scortland.
Buy that avenue of the family is called Wright.
Another is called Pyatt, about whose history I know almost nothing except it is a Scortish name.

I'll do that. It's been fascinating. I wonder why I know so little about my father's side. I do know that my grandmother's family thought my grandfather wasn't good enough, and they were engaged for eight years before they could get married. They were a lovely couple and my grandfather was a really warmhearted and generous man. Maybe her family cut her off.

It's interesting looking back at family history. I know my Nan was my Grandad's second wife (in fact my dad was born before the divorce came through ), but he'd never talk about that side of his family when he was alive, although we know there was a daughter from the first marriage.

I often think about the cousins I might have out there somewhere, and my aunt and wonder what their lives look like.

I am so glad you are doing it now. I have no-one left to ask, about photographs or anything. I would urge people to write on photos before it is too late. So many don't (me included!). Like many of us, I wish I had listened more when I was younger. I would have to go such a long way back, and have a complicated family history so I have not tried.

There was great disapproval at my parents' marriage I do know that so you are not alone

to you as it matters to you obviously. I hope you find something really interesting.



Websailor

I found out from my mum around Christmas that my daughter is no longer the official oldest great granchild of my mum's mother. My little cousin who had his ears clipped in the army so his head could fit in a helicopter flight line "mickey mouse" helmet (so called because it has noise reduction gear and earphones lumped together in the sides) found out he had a 21 year old daughter from a forgotten liason in Florida. She was invited up to see his mom (poor thing, as his mum is insane) and him and his current flame and later official child.

Shnooks has no feelings on the matter. She doesn't really care about the family history as being the only (as far as we know) grandchild of my father, the last name dies with her. As it probably should, since nobody really cares about it.

I have no cousins, Mina. Like Tonsil (about his daughter Snooks), I thought the line would die with me. It was just a nice feeling thinking that I do have family somewhere, even if it is a bit distant.

Someone at work has been looking at her family history and has found that she now has contacts in far-flung countries and that some of their history seems to mirror that of the family she knows here.

Websailor - it's not too late to find out who your family was. My friend started with my dad's birthdate and his parents names. I didn't need to ask dad for those, as I knew them already, so even if he were no longer around, the information would have been available. On my mum's side, it's different, as she does know a fair bit about her uncles and aunts and knows some stories about them. I know about complicated family histories - my ex-husband has one. He has loads of family that get together on family occasions - that has never happened in my family. You could hold a family reunion for my lot in an old-fashioned Mini.

Tonsil - at Snooks age, I'm not surprised that she's not interested in family history. She may never be, but once she gets a fair bit older, there is a chance she may be. I wonder what your cousin's wife/partner thought about finding he had had a previous child?

To be honest, I can't summon up that much curiosity. There is only one mystery that I am aware of, and that is only conjecture. Maybe one day I will make the effort but to be honest my life is so full at the moment I don't have time

Websailor

I'm wondering why I'm interested in it myself at this stage. It coincided with a coincidence when I put my surname and birthplace into a Google search and found that only one reference came up which was to a trip I did on a scholarship in 1971. Maybe it's just time that I laid some family stuff to rest.

Also, one of the motivating factors is the fact that my dad is getting frailer and it did occur to me on our visit to him that it might be his last Christma. Of course, it might not. The interesting thing is that althought he didn't appear to be very interested initially, when I was able to tell him something about the family (instead of pumping him for information) he got really excited, so if there wasn't anything in it for me, the idea of making him happy is very compelling. Plus, as little hasn't got any contact on the paternal side, it should be good for him to have a sense of greater family.

I've got lots of cousins, which was nice growing up, but they don't keep in touch anymore. My nan had three boys, who had 9 kids between them. I tried to keep the family tree my nan was on up to date (she's a far flung branch on it, so I don't think of it as 'our' family tree), and at last count those 9 kids had 10 children that I know of. I know my brother's children, but unfortunately not my cousins.

I did try to sign up to a family tree site, but you have to get permission from everyone you add to your tree which I thought was so unlikely that I just gave up - although I did think of putting my Grandad on there in case the elder daughter's family ever came looking. I'd like to be found.

I didn't know that you needed people's permission, although I think the site my friend is using isn't available to the public unless they contact you and apart from my parents, most of the people on the tree are dead. She got their details through publicly available records.

My dad has been really interested in what she has found out and I don't think I've heard him as animated in some while.

What site were you trying to sign up for? My friend uses Genes Reunited and Ancestry.com.

It was Genes Reunited I signed up to. You definitely need permission to add living relatives to your pages - I had a quick look and the only place I could find it mentioned is in the FAQ.

http://www.genesreunited.co.uk/help.asp?wci=faqs&fk=133

"Members must have permission to add the names of any living relations to their tree."

I didn't know that. Mind you, it doesn't really affect me as the only living relatives that I know are my mum and dad and son and an uncle. I'm glad I know the rule, though. Thanks.

No problem, I was disappointed because it meant I couldn't add all my aunts and uncles, cousins and their children! I've done it by hand and added it to the tree my nan was part of. At least this way it's leaning towards our surname now!

I suppose you could do a round robin to your uncles and aunts and ask if you could have their permission to include them on your tree and explain why - I imagine you probably won't be inundated with people asking to see it - and you have to give permission for other people in any case.

My tree now goes back to 1775 on one side and 1777 on the other! I'm flabbergasted.

I've had very different reactions from my mum and dad to my researches. When I spoke to dad last weekend, he told me that on Friday he couldn't wait until the weekend to speak to me and he really looked forward to it. On the other hand, I get the feeling that my mum dreads me finding out anything dreadful about her side of the family. I now know that she had an aunt I didn't know about, who was ill for a long time. Mum doesn't believe in illness, as she believes that if you're ill, it's due to faulty thinking. Mind, it's not done her any harm, she's not visited a doctor in all the 25 years or so she's lived on the Isle of Wight.

Hi,

You have done well to get back that far. You know, my mother always regarded illness as a weakness, especially of the mental variety, which is ironic since she ended up with Altzheimers. All those kind of illnesses were regarded as something to be ashamed of in times gone by. Not an ounce of sympathy for the victim. Perhaps it is something like that which your Mum is worried about? Oh, and I don't meant to suggest anything about your family, it is just that such things were always kept hidden.

Nice to hear from you again. Hope you and little are ok. Haven't heard from Christiane for some time. I have phoned several times and got the message service so I don't know if she has moved or not. Perhaps I will try her again at the weekend.

Good luck with your research. It must be fascinating. My friend is doing it too, and has made quite a lot of progress, but I think has come to a full stop at the moment.

Websailor

Hi Websailor

'my mother always regarded illness as a weakness, especially of the mental variety, which is ironic since she ended up with Altzheimers. All those kind of illnesses were regarded as something to be ashamed of in times gone by. Not an ounce of sympathy for the victim. Perhaps it is something like that which your Mum is worried about? ' - yes - got it in one! She said, 'I hoped you were'nt going to find out about her.' Poor woman - it's as though she isn't allowed to have had an existence and someone to be ashamed of. Funnily enough, when I phoned my uncle, he had known about her all along, and was surprised I didn't know about her.

I've heard nothing from Christiane for a while. I did write to her, giving her my address and telephone number, which I know she'd lost. I think she must have moved by now, so unless she contacts me, it may be difficult to keep in touch. I could try writing again and hope that she has her post forwarded to her.

I will let you know if I catch up with Christiane.

Sad, how things were 'buried' in the past isn't it as if the poor souls didn't exist. It's naughty too, now we know how much can be learnt about heredity etc. in order to avoid future problems. Of course they didn't know that then.

Websailor

Yes indeed, Websailor

One thing I'm glad I'm able to do is to talk to little about school problems. He tells me he's being teased about various things including me (they've never met me!). He says they're saying he's gay, which I don't think is the case and even if he is, it isn't the end of the world and I would still love him. I was able to sit with him and talk things through and to share what happened to me at school. I also had to put up with verbal bullying and wasn't able to share it with my parents. Hopefully I can help him cope much better than I did. What's experience for, if not to learn from?

If you do catch up with Christane, yes, please let me know!