h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Today, as I was walking to school, I saw a BMW Z4. It was gun-metal grey, and I didn't see the front, I only noticed it when it passed me.

It was cool to see the italicised letters Z4... At last BMW has made a half-way-decent Boxster rival.

Traditionally, BMW roadsters have been rubbish. the Z3 was underpowered and had a chassis made of wet cardboard. the Z8 had the same fault, but the 5.0 litre V8 was good. same as in the M5. M5. Good car... Best super-saloon... Even the Jaguar S-type R can't beat it.

The BMW to have would be the 3-series coupé or 3-series cabriolet. Or the M3. Or the 760Li...

Of course the car to want is the Merc SLR. Or the Porsche Carrera GT. Or the Bentley Arnage T... Or a Mercedes Maybach 62... Can't decide...

Showing your encyclopaedic knowledge of cars again, Jimmy... I am impressed. I still like the Volkswagen - just because I do.

Actually, if I had to choose a car from your list, I'd choose the Bentley Arnage T, or the Mercedes Maybach - judging by an article in Autocar magazine (page 81, 30th October 2002 issue).

I'd choose the Volkswagen Phaeton, from the luxury cars listed on page 91 of the same issue.

Hmmm, my choices:

An absolute stonker, cross between a limo and a hot rod - the Bently Continental T.

Best looking car (currently in production), stretch underpant elastic at fifty yards - the TVR Cerbera.

Luxury Saloon - Mercedes Maybach.

If you could only have one car for the rest of your life - the Bently.

But that's just my opinion and it'll probably change tomorrow.

Mmm, does that relate to getting a double Polaroid? Jimmy thinks you're pretty much right...

I'll have that Bentley Continental...

You're right about that TVR - though it has competition from the Jag XKR. Seen the BMW X3 or 1-series? BMW now has rivals for the Freelander and Golf.

X3 I knew about, but 1 series, I didn't. Will it be (shock horror) front wheel drive?

double Polaroid over euro cars?

Della, I have something you could use when ticked off at these two.

"stop that or you'll be buried in a holden racing team jacket and ford truckie hat"

"stop that or you'll be buried in a holden racing team jacket and ford truckie hat"

Very effective! That would be a fate worse than death! (First death, then a fate worse than death!)

I need some time alone with a Lotus Esprit owner's manual.

Yes it does.

And, Della, wouldn't you have to eat an owl before you could pass it?

for looks I like the look of the new Rover. I walked past one yesterday

I agree, it's superb. The interior is just as good.

>>And, Della, wouldn't you have to eat an owl before you could pass it?<<
That's what I thought at first...Jimmy read that phrase out to me (he's reading his way through the 700+ page 'HP and the Order of the Phoenix') But it turns out that OWLs are 'Ordinary Wizarding Levels' the Hogwarts equivalent of GCSEs.

Regarding team regalia - when we went to the dairy on Sunday, we saw a little boy in a red and white Michael Schumacher jacket, riding his trike ahead of his beaming parents. Jimmy said that when he has his daughter (she'll be called Nyssa, after one of Doctor Who's companions) he'll dress her in whoever's colours are blue and white and send her out into the streets to beat up little boys and girls who wear jackets promoting opposing teams.
(The little boy we saw was about 3 years old. I take it Jimmy is saying he plans to teach his Toddlers to Terrorise.)(This, BTW is all irregardless of whatever Jimmy's eventual wife has to say on any subject. When asked, he simply says that she'll agree with him, he'd never marry a woman who wouldn't!)

Jimmy needs to get better at biology. So he can make himself "Bride of Jimmy"

It's inexplicable that anyone could be a fan of Michwel Schumacher. He's based his carreer on cheating. Cheating that's largely ignored by the f1 powers that be, because Shumacher is a valuable draw-card.

Williams are about the only team to use blue and white. They're worthy of your support and are getting set to dominate the championship. With a driver named Juan-Pablo Montoya how could you fail?

Are you suggesting that Jimmy become a hermaphrodite?

Cool!

I hadn't thought of that

Of course that could work too.

Could be a good lifestyle choice for everyone, that. You wouldn't have to talk after sex, you could just go straight to sleep.

>>With a driver named Juan-Pablo Montoya how could you fail?<<
That is truly a magic name...

I'm told "no it won't be front wheel drive, Thank God!"

It was Williams BMW I was referring to (I'd forgotten their name, which I can confess now Jimmy's gone to t'other side of the room).
He says no, being an hermaphrodite would *not* be cool!
His future wife will *love* maths (with calculus, not statistics) and will play chess. She will, be like him, a medical student and they will go live in London. He has it all worked out. She will *not* be called Tessa!