h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

What a great song.

OK then.

¦M¦

*A Large green table lamp strolls by, with a mains plug in its hand. Stops, observes the conversation, and wanders slowly off [Exit Left]*

[large green table lamp slow entrance left]
[music fade in]
[table lamp sings about how depressed it is]
[entrance right a paler green table lamp]
[pale table lamp dances in background]
[first table lamp gets to an important bit in song, yanks plug cord from it's socket, collapses centre stage]
[pale table lamp exit right]
[yellow limping table lamp with injured cord entrance right]
[yellow table lamp limps to green table lamp, takes cord, leaves a wooden swordfish]
[yellow lamp exit right clutching mains plug]

¦M¦

[Wooden Swordfish gets up, Flies up and around the area the table lamps occupied]
[Mains plugs float around the proximity]
[Lightning: Quick Flashes of white light]
[Eerie silence and darkness for 5 seconds]
[1950s-esque quartet music fade in]
[Centre spotlight on old radio]

[old radio explodes into several parts, each does a small jig to the music]
[all parts form radio again at finish of music]
[spotlight off]
[fade to black]
[army of dandelions fill stage]

¦M¦

[the stage is filled with an aurora of green light]
[the stage-curtains fall off, and land on the stage, crushing a rabbit that shouldn't ever have been there anyway with the curtain pole]
[the small parts of the old radio glue themselves back together, and then explode again, just for fun]
[the clock on the wall begins to heat up, and smelt down the wall, imitating expensive art]
[the BBC lawyers come in to get the clock to desist from plaguarism.]
[aka loses ideas, leaving the thread open to a pitiful death, or a re-awakening with a better post]

yes if you where in jersey for six months of s s s where you there?

Sorry?
I read that once, twice, backwards and upside-down, and it still didn't make any sense.

And thus was the conversation closed
[Exeunt Right]