h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is a little observation essay that I wrote today in Broadway Joes, which is a coffee shop in town. AND it is the only cool place in Greenville.

Creepy weird-looking guy on a laptop in the window. He has some sort of earpiece....
Another laptop guy at the table behind me....few minutes ago, he was talking on his cellphone. Sounds like he’s going on a church trip, and they were talking about food and meal plans.
Two ladies, probably mother and daughter, eating lunch from the deli. Having conversation, but they are inaudible.
Few minutes ago, there was this guy in a suit and tie...I didn’t like him, he looked like some creepy businessman.
Tall guy, and adopted Chinese girl about three, and wife just sat down at a table near me.
Connie from the library just walked in. I saw her walking down the sidewalk earlier.
Guy with Chinese girl is eating chile, quiche, and ice tea. Wife is just having quiche and ice tea.
Just finished tiramisu latte. Thinking about getting a spoon. Hate to waste good froth. Ended up getting a stir stick instead.
Place has emptied out pretty well. People on the couches have left. It’s quiet in here all of the sudden.
I can’t believe I spent 4.60 on lattes. I had an Italian cappuccino, and then a tiramisu latte thing.
I haven’t seen anyone I know yet, except Connie. It’s unusual. I always see crap-loads of people I know.
Creepy laptop gut has left his computer unattended. I should go steal it. Here he comes. Never mind.
It’s not as exciting here as I hoped it would....
A guy just walked in. I don’t know who he is, but he looks familiar.
The laptop guy behind me looks deep in thought. The Chinese girl seems to have an inexhaustible supply of those free crackers for salads....
I wish some more interesting people would come in. I don’t like it when people act normal. So it’s their fault this thing is boring. Was that Reuben walking down the sidewalk across the street?
I’m surprised Ed Cornell hasn’t shown up yet. He always brings this shiny stainless steel coffee pot that he has filled up, and then he takes it to work.
It’s kinda noisy again. But not too bad. Old lady just sat down near me. She seems pretty nice.
Here comes Christina. She’s from the library too. She comes here all the time. I think that a lot of library people come in here because it’s just around the corner, so they come here for their lunch break.
The laptop guy behind me just left.

Very interesting, sounds like you had a fun day

I suppose. Like I said, I wish more interesting people were there. I don't like it when people act normal.

What about when they act natural?

Just look at the essay. Normal people kill my creativity. I like writing about funny/stupid/clumsy people. Then I have material.

Wouldn't you rather them be sincere though? I'm sure you have enough creativity in you to work with that

Well, when you write funny stuff like I do, you want them to be funny, or have weird mannerisms, or to be eccentric and so on. Then you have material. But if you're writing a serious story/novel essay, then you want them to be...umm...not funny.

You can make them funny... or just find a more entertaining place to observe.

My sense of humour is very sarcastic so I can find most things funny.

I can't really think of another place to write stuff like that. And besides, in a place like Greenville, Ohio, there isn't any funny people around. But my sister tells me about people that she meets in minneapolis who are complete eccentrics. Once, she said that someone on a bus thought that my sister was Madonna, and my sister looks absoulutly nothing like Madonna.

Oh no! That's hilarious.

I used to work for a newspaper company and somebody called about becoming a carrier and this is how the conversation went...

"*newspapername* distribution. How may I direct your call."

"Umm, ya. I like want to ask about giving out the papers."

"You're interested in becoming a carrier?"

"Ya. For delivering."

"Ok, can I have your address?"

"Umm, I live at blah-blah."

"Ok. The rep for your area is-"

"No, it's actually for my friend."

"Alright, can I have your friends address?"

"Just a second."
*talks in the background for a few minutes*

"So, can he be a delivery boy."

"Where does he live?"

Then the boy YELLS...
"I don't know where he lives right now ok?!?"

Hmmm... so maybe the friend should be calling in instead?

That's what I thought about it too. It was funny though.

That's the sort of stuff that my sister would get somethimes. At the place she works now, her job amongst other things involves answering the phone, and she gets weird calls like that.

Oh ya, I've had a lot of weird ones working there. Some violent!

Crap. I shoould probably ggo soon. I'll need to help with dinner. And I think my mom wants the computer once I'm done.

Oops. I didn't see your new post.

Okey-dokey! Good luck with dinner

"See" you later

Right-O.