h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

We have just had a visit from my cousin, who is about 6' 8" and big (not fat - just 'big') with it. That and the fact that he arrived in Benshasha on a bike that was twenty times the cubic capacity of anything remotely resembling a 'motorcycle', in the village, meant that his arrival, and stay caused quite a stir. Apart from staring, open mouthed, there were continuous comments, both to and about his 'size'.

Nobody considered this 'rude' or 'offensive', least of all my cousin, who is well used to comments, which are often along the lines of, "Gordon Bennet!! Where the xyz do you manage to get shoes?" Nobody considered it 'rude' that my Moroccan nephew went to some lengths to make sure that there was a bed 2.4m long for him. Quite the opposite - it was regarded as being exceptionally considerate and polite.

Why is it that, if you are male and 5' 5", it is right and proper to regard any comment as to being vertically challenged, as being damnably offensive?

Of course, if you happen to be a French prime minister, you can demand apologies from governments and regard any comments as to footstools as a 'diplomatic incident'.

at 5ft 3ins, I look at tall folk this way1 - do you need oxygen up there ? and 2 - in case of nuclear fallout, you'll cop it first and save us little'uns

I have a few BIG male friends. Some fat, others just huge in a very fit sense, a couple somewhere in between but all over 6'3"... They tend to get a lot of respect by default because most men are a little intimidated and/or a little bit jealous.

I'm 5'6" and I'd love to be taller, in fairness, even though I know tall women often have problems too. Funnily enough a lot of men find tall women offensively intimidating and can be quite cruel. They seem to think it infers some degree of masculinity unless you're extraordinarily pretty and have a slim body to go with it.

Perhaps height has a background link to our perceptions of masculinity?

I've been out with a lad the same height as me and another who was 6'5" and while I love em tall, I've not objections either way, it's their outlook that's more important to me.

Anybody notice that kids appear to be getting taller these days?

Yes, people ARE getting taller. At 6' 2" (the shortest male member of the tribe - other than one cousin) I felt quite short last time I went to Ol Blighty - there are LOTS of people the same height or taller than me - not just my family.

However, all comments miss the point.

Why is it socially OK to comment (rudely) on someone's height if they are above average but absolutely NOT if they are below average?

Logically, it is absurd.

It's for the same reason that it's OK for people to say 'You are too thin, you should eat more', but not: 'You are too fat, you should eat less'. Both are incredibly rude, but people have no problem whatsoever to point out that you're too thin in their opinion.

I must just be rude then because I mercilessly rip the out of shortarses.

I wouldn't comment on someone's weight though.

Having been at the receiving end of the 'you are too thin' remarks for most of my life, I was often tempted to reply in the same vein, but I never did.

I've been slagged off for being skinny for years. However, having just put on over 60lbs in 8 months, I don't think I'll get that again

My new belly is called Cedric btw and I can balance a mobile phone on him - whilst I'm standing up

I'm so proud

I think it's because of the respect inherent in someone being more than 'ideal' or less than 'ideal'.

Being too thin is often commented on out of concern rather than scorn. Being very tall generally gets respect (in a man) therefore it's not intended as rudeness. Commenting on someone's lack of height is generally percieved (and often intended) as scornful or commenting in some way on a failing or a lack.

Of course women are too manly when they are tall and cute when short, men are 'sweet' when they are short and overwhelmingly masculine when tall (unless excessively slim!).

Similarly a well built woman is too masculine but a slim man is too unmanly (though not necessarily feminine).

I think the background perceptions are what gives the acceptability or not of people's comments and attitudes to others.