h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm going to sell my fridge, so I'm cleaning off all the magnets and crap stuck to it. Over the two years I've been living here the fridge writing has rarely been touched, but when something's been added nothing's ever been removed unless someone needed a word.

Since I'm about to destroy two years worth of painstaking drunken creativity (or non-creativity, as the case seems to be) I thought I'd record it all for posterity here.

The first is an obfuscated warning.

> Idiot. Lose. Been!

Then there are a the quite meaningless but rather pleasant sounding:

> Wasted emotional music

> Sleep very still

At some stage hints of profundity became evident.

> Brew to take his mind

> No is commitment to some

> Nothing is stupid

> Better drunk or insane than in a rage

Then comes one of my favourites. A full drama reduced to a length that will fit on a phone text message

> Hottie Date Score Married Sin Divorce

When that gets turned into a screenplay it will be the first time the movie has better characterisation than the book.

There's another story. The only multi-liner on the fridge.

> Macho dick got bail
> Sensitive woman alimony
> Sweet boy car
> All hurt

And last but not least the obligatory dirty or strangely suggestive slogans (which really aren't very dirty - not enough naughty words are available).

> Real women kiss manhood on my couch

> Blow girl smell at me

> Hot shower together?

> I would eat a bra and panties barbecue

That's the entire result of two years, two flatmates, and a lot of drunken nights. How sad! I guess we just never paid enough attention to the fridge.