h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I got a call at work from the Admiral last week to say the pooter had gone off and wouldn't reboot. When I got home, I found it totally dead. I tried a different lead and socket, but no joy. I checked the power switch with a multimeter, and it was closing the circuit, so I took myself off and bought a new power supply. It didn't make a ha'porth of difference. Worried now, I tried swapping out the ram chips, and another bios battery, but nothing helped.

So that left the motherboard and CPU. I didn't see any point in just buying one without the other, so I nipped out on Saturday morning and bought a new board and CPU. When I finished building it up, I couldn't find a monitor port, and realised I'd bought a board without onboard graphics (unlike my old one). So off I went to buy a graphics card, brought it home and tried to install it. Then I took the trouble to read the instructions for the mainboard and realised it needed an AGP card, not a PCI one. So back to the store to change that.

Finally I was ready to go. Plugged in, switched on, the fan started ... and then stopped. No beeps, nothing. I tried again and it was dead. Eventually I found that if I unplugged the power supply from the board and plugged it back in again the fan would go once, but that was it. So I tried the old CPU - and it booted!

Well, kind of. Windows wouldn't load. I could get into safe mode, though, and there ensued several hours of checking settings and retrying. Eventually, I found the page file was set too small, and got into Windows. And ran a virus check and got booted out.

I tried installing Windows on a spare hard drive, but it kept falling over.

By now I'd concluded that the new CPU was faulty, so I took it back the next day after work. The tech at the store checked it and agreed it was dead. They replaced it without demur, and I took the opportunity to ask the tech for advice. He suspected (as did I by now) that my old CPU was on the way out.

So I went home, ready to install the new CPU. And when I was undoing the clip for the processor fan, my screwdriver slipped and I clobbered the chipset with it. What a plonker! Back to the store for a new motherboard before they shut, and (with considerable care) I rebuilt the PC.

And I turned it on.

And the fan went for a second ....... and then it died. Aaaaaarrrrggghhhh!

I saw no point in going any further, and the next day returned the CPU. When the tech (a different one) tried it, it was fine. On being told my saga, he suggested that the motherboard may be shorting on the case, and told me to reinstall it with the foam pad from the package beneath.

Which I did - and the PC booted. Huzzah! I still don't understand why it would boot with the old CPU, nor why it had gone completely dead on Friday, but at least I was moving forward.

Only Windows still wouldn't load - not even into safe mode - all I got was the BSOD I'd seen so much of over the previous few days. At this point I tried reinstalling Windows on the spare drive - and finally I had a pooter that worked.

Fortunately all my files remained on the original HDD, and I now have a long job reinstalling all my software, so I probably shan't be around h2g2 much for a few days, but if you're reading my journal and were wondering where I've been, there's your answer!