h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Welcome to Paff's second annual Christmas eve live poetry journal.]


Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse

But wait, what's that scratching
and sniffing we hear
Is that a pink tail?
Could that be an ear?

Dad sits in the corner
He's looking perplexed
"How to wrap gerbils?"
He's thoroughly vexed

They'll eat through the paper
And sticky tape and string
These are a couple of
Youngest nipper's favourite things

I don't feel so alone now - why aren't you in a suit carting s around the bedrooms?

Dad's been a numpty
They come with a cage
Though wrapping up that thing
Will take quite an age

[Oh hello GB, didn't see you there. The sneaking up to the bedrooms is coming later...]

Easier to wrap is
Eldest nipper's iPod
How technology has moved on
Since Dad was a kid

You're a legend, Paff - just the tonic I need. The helps too, of course...

For the missus some jewellery
The girl in the shop
Said Dad would score brownie points
If this necklace he got

[Ooh, two 'listeners'. I feel as popular as Terry Wogan. I should warn you that last year I didn't finish the wrapping till 2am. Though this year I've started early...]

Presents aren't usually
Bought for the hound
But while gerbils were purchased
A new dog bed was found

The gerbils are squeaking
It seems they don't like
Being inside this wrapping
Dad isn't surprised

Early? early???

It's almost Christmas Day, you know. You have twenty minutes left.

Did you remember the suit?

The missus will love the necklace...awww

in case she's lurking...

...and with that, it's over and out from me, as my teenager will be up early and wanting an audience while he unwraps his mountain of s but he will rant and rail because he hasn't got a Playstation wiii

Bah humbug.

All the best Paff and family I'm so glad you got home safe.

The wrapping completed!
Now it's time to set
The stockings quietly
On the ends of the beds

[Thanks, n-night, and Happy Christmas GB. Have a good one.]


Dad he is creeping
But no nippers awake
Dad's quiet footsteps
No noises do make

Then it's back down the stairs
For a last scout about
The check that the candles
And fire are out

(It seems that a problem occurred on hootoo
Dad deleted cookies and rebooted too)

The tree lights are still on
Now the computer too
So before further problems
One last note on hootoo

To say Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
Hope you call have a good one
Have a cracker, and cheers!

Traveller in Time reading close
"This was a 'Quikly Down', it happens every monday morning plaese continue "

Fantastic stuff, Paff!

Have you had a glass of sherry, a bite of a mince pie and left some icing sugar footprints through from the fire?

(hootoo always goes down for a bit at midnight on a Sunday )