h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My life gets stranger.

Just got a message from my very good mate Pete signed Maggie that he has his appointment at the gender re-assignment clinic and will start electrolysis treatment immediately. She's incredibly happy.

A few months ago he told me that he finally faced up to wanting to be a woman...wasn't sure how far to take it. He started sending me pictures of himself as a woman...Then all the palavar happened to me...he visited me a lot. Dressed always as Pete..rock musician from Glasgow...rough tough with a heart of gold. I love him.

Yesterday I repeatedly rang and texted. No reply. Obviously I was worried. (He's had a hell of a life..abused as a kid...alcoholic lived the whole rock and roll lifestyle to the limit. Very talented and intelligent but so down to earth..always said how much he 'loves' women..not just sexually but WOMAN. He hasn't drunk in years now but has cirhosis and and that viral thing. He's a walking miracle.

She's hiding in his flat but happy. When she's ready we'll meet. I'm excited but nervous. Still can't quite take it in.

He's very anarchist and radical...and angry. He has always expresed and chanelled that in his music. I wonder if she will be, or like that but different or the same?

Wow.

Gracious, that is truly heavy, Effers. with it and I wish your friend best of luck as a woman as well.

BTW I forgot to wish you happy fourth of July...so a bit late; to Dmitri as well.

Wow indeed, Effers.

She's chosen a really good name as well

It will be really interesting to see if a personality change ensues. It shouldn't really, because the whole reason for the sex change was because his personality didn't fit his biology. But it may........

Hopefully she'll be happier.

One of the more interesting things I read about trans issues was by Natalie Reed, who explained that the whole "trapped in the wrong body" problem is a *metaphor*. Reality, she said, is somewhat more nuanced.

http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/03/19/trapped-in-a-womans-body/

TRiG.

Yeah I think it's a complex issue and probably different for different people. He's never used that 'trapped in the wrong body' phrase..and I don't know how literally he'll take it in terms of actual surgery. It's all new for him/her...and we only spoke a bit...it was a big thing for him to even tell me about it originally..and he had to deal with his girlfriend's bad reaction. Lots of confusion all around.

I won't push anything and just take it as it comes. And I don't want to stir up any issues to do with the abuse he had as a kid. He's badly affected by that still and has counselling. The person is dead and was never prosecuted. I had psychological abuse and am damaged by that; you have to be incredibly careful about stirring up hornets' nests. Some people don't have the first clue about that concept.

He/she's a mate and its my relationship that matters most, whatever private thoughts on it may develop.

I don't even know when I'll next see him/her in real life. But we can have email contact as ever.

I don't quite get it because being a woman is something I still don't really understand a lot of the time..you can be so many things.

Oh I don't know Viva la differance or not...

> I don't quite get it because being a woman is something I still don't really understand a lot of the time..you can be so many things.

Some people are more genderfluid. Some people are pretty much agender. I definitely feel male, but I don't feel it particularly strongly, if that makes any sense. I know someone else who says she can dream all sorts of things: she can dream she's a bird, or an animal, or an alien; but she cannot possibly imagine herself not being female. It's fundamental to her self-image. People identify differently. And part of it is culturally mediated, of course.

TRiG.

Good news

Maggie rang this morning and may pop round later or not...we left it open...sadly she's understandably a bit nervous about possible abuse in the streets. This is a great neighbourhood but still those people can suddenly pop up unexpectedly anywhere. She's bound to be nervous.

But if we don't meet today I'll pop round to hers next week. I feel much more relaxed about it now as I was able to be honest and say it will take a bit of getting used to for me, although I'm entirely supportive and positive about it...it's a journey for both of us..and I apologised in advance if I accidently call her Pete by mistake. She laughed and said people are doing that all the time. So she's seeing other mates who are all really positive.

I realised I had more of a problem than I was admitting to. Pete was a kind of rock for me..and that was something to do with his kind of maleness...but it feels fine now and dead exciting.

I probably won't post more about it here now as its quite personal...but I think I needed to put it out there to people completely uninvolved for my own benefit.

Special thanks to you Trig for knowing about the complexity of sexual identity and your cool take...I can't explain. And thanks all.

I hang out with a few trans people online, but I don't actually know any in real life. I'm thinking of hanging out more in queer places*, so I might get to know some. I think I'm fairly comfortable with the idea, but no doubt I'll still put my foot in my mouth some of the time.

Obviously everyone's different, but as a rule of thumb trans people don't like to be outed, and many try to bury their original name, because they know that some people will refuse to respect their new identity.

One of the webcomics I read has a couple of trans characters. http://khaoskomix.com. It's a good story if you start from the beginning and read through.

TRiG.

* I was in a social club in Dublin called Outhouse the morning of Pride. It was a fun and relaxed venue, so I might pop up there more often.