h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For this year I decided that my personality-develpoment project would be Patience. It's something I've always had remarkably little of, and while I've learned over the last few years to avoid being a total bastard to the people in front of me, I still have the charming habit of yelling at things--the vacuum cleaner, devices that won't work the way I expect them to, and traffic. I'm one of those head-about-to-explode-from-screaming idiots when I'm alone in my truck. Yelling doesn't actually make me *feel* any better, and I can get myself in quite a state when people are piddling around in *my* way. So the outrageous behavior needs to stop.

So far this year since I set my goal I've been even more agitated than usual, and that's common to have huge upsurges in whatever you want to change about yourself before actually settling down and *doing* it. I decided yesterday that I'll get myself over the traffic problem by just leaving ten minutes earlier. That way if I'm blessed with *every* *single* red light along the way it'll not make me worry about being late. And if all the old, doddery, people who really shouldn't still be piloting a car, or if all the snowbirds and tourists in the county meander around on the road in front of me, I'll be on time.

So, this morning I was on my way to work, mentally congratulating myself for having taken control of *my* end of the project, and thinking about how *simple* it was, when some @#%$ **&#@! decided to cross 6 lanes of traffic, on his bike, just rode out there where there wasn't even an intersection and the light was green and we were going pretty fast. GAAAAAAAAAAAAA! So I flipped from self-congratulatory, smug, sane person into instant raving lunatic in less than the space of a heartbeat. Realized in the midst of warming to my rant that....oops... I'm not supposed to be *doing* that. Made me laugh at myself, and realize that maybe I haven't *quite* mastered the patience objective yet.

This might be the most difficult project I've undertaken. But I'll get there. Just have to be patient.

Patience? I am terrible at waiting for things to happen. I try and manipulate them to happen faster or be a pushy madam.

The problem is that I don't really enjoy the 'journey', that's why I too am working on patience.

Good luck to ya!

Alex

Patience? Wassat?

Have a vision of the three of us standing over a cauldron, stirring madly and going 'BUBBLE AND BOIL ALREADY, DAMMIT!'

Meanwhile, I really don't see any particular virtue in just 'waiting for things to happen' and I wonder if this really constitutes having Patience, as Indifference or Laziness could also be quite happy to just wait around.

Likewise sitting in a traffic jam and NOT going mental - would this mean one is Patient or simply Resigned to whatever HELL the day is going to throw at them?

Seems to me that Patience is an acceptance of the things we are not able to change in a particular place and time.

My Collins Dictionary definition of. . .

Patience:
- tolerant and even-tempered perseverance
- the capacity for calmly enduring pain, trying situations, etc

Patient:
- enduring trying circumstances with even temper
- tolerant, understanding
- capable of accepting delay with equanimity
- persevering or diligent

So it comes down to tolerance and calm endurance . . . in *trying* situations. Which to me are those situations we cannot do anything about (ie - traffic jams) but not necessarily other situations in which we feel 'impatient' (ie, not just waiting around) when there might be something we could do to make a difference.

Perhaps in the latter case we need to question *why* we are feeling or acting in an impatient manner? Who is it serving?

Anyhow, thanks MoG, you've given me something to think about while I sew up the last of my samples this afternoon . . . sewing is definitely an activity that tries my patience to the breaking point.

But still haven't had a cig (since a week ago Friday) though I've often felt like it . . .


az

That's a great subject header for this topic.

Alex, I don't see it as impatience to try to nurture your goals into fruition. Doing it with a bulldozer *will* wreak havok on the rest of the garden, though. What I was wondering is whether you're happy once you get what you were after, or if you're almost instantly focused on The Next Phase without ever taking the time to really treasure Where You Are.

I have a dear friend who's like that and it's very sad to watch because she's *always* unhappy. She's accomplished soooo many big goals over the last few years-- bought a condo, got her MBA, sang with the Philharmonic, directs a chorus, got married, leader in the Buddhist organization-- and she doesn't even allow herself an hour of pleasure in anything before she's back to worrying about what she doesn't have. That's not impatience, though. It's more like an addiction to Plans, not Goals.

>So it comes down to tolerance and calm endurance . . . in *trying* situations.< Yeah, that's how I see it, az. I'm trying to figure out things *I* can do to circumvent 'trying' situations and not turn into instant asshole when they do occur. I think, along with giving myself slop-time, I need to re-set my default so that I learn to automatically focus on something lovely around me rather than getting agitated because my will is being thwarted and things and other people don't always have the same degree of efficiency *I* do.

Hmmmm... I already *did* that when I learned to give up my attachment to Plans and focus on achieving Goals, so that means this isn't actually a whole new project, rather a fine-tuning and deeper application of something I already learned to do. What a relief! I hadn't thought of it in those terms before. Thanks for the insight, ladies!

Too much patience OR too little, will make one a patient.
Beware, because once one is a patient, it takes even more patience.


A little diddy I thought I'd offer.
I wrote it years ago, for myself.

And if anyone says this New Years Eve that you have not succeeded in becoming patient tell them not to be so hasty.



I thought witches were supposed to be warty old hags not gorgeous birds!

Mutters to himself as he wanders off 'Ah, the mans still got the charm'

Thanks for the reminder, Abbi I often think I'd *be* a patient if they were able to come up with a comprehensive diagnosis for general MoGgishness. "The woman's nut's" doesn't have a proper official ring to it. And I *am* harmless, mostly.

I'll remember to use the "don't be so hasty" line, Alfster. But you'd better be careful being the man with the charm amongst a trio of naughty (not quite wicked) witches. Charm is a much more useful ingredient than eye of newt nowadays, and we might just decide to toss you in the pot and see what happens.

I *do* have a button on my Adventure hat that reads:
Strip him,
Bathe him,
& Bring him
to my tent.

< Charm is a much more useful ingredient than eye of newt nowadays, and we might just decide to toss you in the pot...>

Rude childish giggles ensue. I suggest you ask one of your British friends what the word 'toss' can mean over in Blighty.

<...and see what happens>

Hmmm, I would hazard a guess at a huge smile on my face.

Smartass.

http://public.fotki.com/azahar/h2g2_friends/spankings_shall_commence.html

Wheal meet again.
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I'm sure wheal meet again
SM sunny day

az

<>

Am I happy once I get what I want. Well sometimes yes and sometimes no. Now I've got SoRB I am happy but he is just *right* for me. Other stuff? Erm well material things no but I am in the process of declutterinf and simplifying my life. Stripping back my wardrobe to a limited one (although this has meant buying clothes that I can feel happy wearing all the time ) So maybe I'll never be happy with that.

I'm happy with my job as a teacher but am always looking for the next challenge in school to keep me interested and focussed....

WHo knows, it's fun on the way anyway.

Alex.

<<Strip him,
Bathe him,
& Bring him
to my tent.>>

Mmmm, I'm with you on that one.

Wow!, That pic is fabulous! I want one of me and SoRB

I want I want I want. Stamp feet.

The only thing wrong with the photo is that the bum just is not pert enough so it can't be mine.

Alex, if it's fun along the way then you're doing ok. I think that when you only see the fun when it's already gone by and is a distant memory that it's a problem.

You want, eh? Weeeeelllll, darlin', if you'll access your memory I already *offered* to make a portrait of you and SoRB, just haven't had any pixels or suggestions/muse-like inspirations sent to me yet to play with. So your want will be fulfilled when you give me the stuff to work with, ok?

Alfster, you are playing with fire, you know. I *will* be in your part of the universe in the near future, and in just the right MoGly mood I'm quite likely to *demand* (and when I demand in MoGly fashion, NOBODY dares to deny my whims) a bum viewing with a proper and dignified pertness-judging from all present and knowlegeable females. So you'd better be sure we can bounce a quarter off that pearly portal, and I'll set Alex to designing scientifis experiments that'll prove your words to be verifiable. I suggest you start doing squats. Now.

Ok. Tonight I had my second official showing of my paintings, was actually , really hoping something would sell. And nothing did. So I got discouraged for a few minutes while I was driving home, not about the painting, which I'd do anyway, but about actually putting them oput there for sale. In public. To strangers.

And then a little patience thing kicked in. I remembered that I've only ever showed a total of 10 paintings, for a total of three hours. And I put them in a place that's not hugely inviting to 'normal' people, in a show that draws more people interested in wandering around quaffing free wine and hors d'oeuvres than in buying Art. And some people liked my stuff, and some walked away shaking their heads. Hell, my *parents* suggest that I do apples and landscapes and still lifes, so it doesn't bother me that my stuff is definitely not for everyone.

What I learned from these two showings:
1) lighting matters
2)*I* pick what's going out there
3) A bellydance studio behind a shop overwhelmingly full of chachkis is *not* the same thing as a gallery, and won't tempt serious buyers of Unknown Art
4) I've gotta get more involved in marketing my stuff if I want to actually sell it.
5) I must never try to do this again after working all day. My juice had already been sucked dry by the time I got there.

So that's ok, one day it'll happen if that's what's meant to be. If not I need a bigger house with lots more wall space. Soon.

Heh.

I'll take great pleasure in reminding my parents that almost all the Great Artists were totally unrecognized and unappreciated in their own lifetimes. I'm just following precedent.

well, you do paint pretty wierd sh*t!



You could also try to use some pyschology and sneaky tricks. Just like one sets up painting in a certain way to draw a veiwer into the a painting (the old rules of thirds etc) one must be able to use the area as a canvass to draw people in. Put you more noraml ones close to where people walk in and your weirder ones and possibly then your best one in the middle. Thereby the punters will go from 'normal' inviting ones to your weirder(ug don't like that) to one that comes back to normal but bloody brilliant and thus elevating that one in the person eye.

Also, I have found even when arranging a few photos in frames on walls that the order they are in matters. A big change in colour, or format or content can throw a persons mind and get a bit of cognitive dissonance to kick in and once some starts to feel a bit uncomfortable you will loose them.

Also the layout of the area. There is one good thing about funnelling people through your exhibit so theyt have to look at them but that shouldnot go as far as them subconsciously being aware of a trap if various tables etc are placed so they could not get out easily.

Thanks for the advice, Alfster. It makes sense, just reinforces what I was already thinking-- I need to try this in a different venue. There's just too much going on in the Goddess Store, there were 6 of us showing in a room about the size of my living room, and to get there you have to wind your way through a narrow aisle in a store overflowing with bellydance costumes, jewelry, candles, insense, all *sorts* of crap. So the head is already exhausted by the time you get back there, and then there's just another jumble of...stuff. I think I need to find some places that would hang my paintings for a month or so, as part of their decor. It'll work better that way. One question, though--what would you consider my more 'normal' paintings to be? They're all pretty bizarre.

My artist friend and neigbour Eric often doesn't sell much stuff at his showings, but he is there being personable, chatting with everyone, handing out his cards and saying he is happy to have private showings of his other stuff as well as doing private commissions . . . for him it's all about selling in the end. And people who commission stuff tend to go with the same style he does, but perhaps something a bit more personal.

I was once told that there is a market for everything - the trick is to find it.

You don't necessarily have to change your style, but perhaps your manner of getting your stuff out there . . . if you are not reaching *your* market then you're obviously not going to have the success you would have if you were.

So I think identifying your market is primary . . . where are they? who are they? how do you reach them?

Re: my clothes. I already know that NOBODY in Seville is going to be remotely interested in my stuff. Seville is not my market. Which is why we are doing the internet thing. Because the Germans and the Brits are sure to love this loose-fitting, comfy, natural fabric stuff.

If you don't figure out who and where your market is, you are tossing your pearls to swine, dahling. Waste of time and energy and money. And it also makes you feel bad.

Meanwhile, don't forget the kid's book. I really think that one has a lot of potential.

az