h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I was out having my beer on the beach, priming myself for the writing I promised you and was reading some Buddhist stuff, kinda randomly researching the second night before making the first when I came across this one for us. And.... SURPRISE! It's from Goethe! How does he keep rearing his head in my life these days? He's dead! Inspiration strikes again in the strangest of places, and so apropos after our conversation today.

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth--the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

And be mighty, darlin'.

Spamming my own journal entries. tsk tsk. But, after typing this into my daily journal, I realized that this one actually belongs here in the one I started more than a year ago. Goethe got me to thinking back then. Now, Paulo Coelho prompts me to action. I thnk that over the past year I just might have uncovered enough discipline in myself to follow through with this thing. It's not what I thought it would be, back then. I wonder what it'll be in another year. I promise me, whatever it is, it'll be something complete.

Things are converging again. Tonight there shall be a lunar eclipse and weather willing I shall go to the beach with a bottle of wine and watch it and take photos. I think maybe I'll go to my spot under the cypresses and watch it from there, have yet another perspective of the way things are so different and so the same. Yesterday it occurred to me that maybe I should make a picture book of that place, write about what I'm thinking when I sit there.

1) Last week when we were out on the street trying a last valliant effort to raise money to save the Philharmonic I met Howard. Afterwards, when we were all at the bar talking he told me things that shook me. Erin had told him I was an artist, rather than a singer. I rapidly explained that it was what I like to do, to make things, not that it's how I earn my living. He told me I was just being lazy. He told me to listen to the excuses I was making for not succeeding financially, when I told him I like making things but *really* dislike the aspect of trying to sell them to people, so I just don't. There are a number of ways of selling things that don't involve making a sales pitch. He suggested EBay, which only involves the investment of some time and research. He's right! He talked about money not being a good reason for doing something, but when you do it from your heart and with passion, and are not lazy about it, then money is a result rather than a goal.

He also talked about appreciation for all the things we have now, daily, and how we so often don't notice our treasures til they're gone. That's so true, and it made me even more aware of all the things I have.

2) Dinner with Greg, when he talked about finding your personal mission, about how different people have different missions. Some are more .... hmmmm.... visible, I guess, than others, but they are all equally valid and important in the totality of everything.

3) I finally bought a copy of Paulo Coelho's 'The Alchemist', started reading it this morning. Almost half through the first reading. WOW! ' "Everything in life is an omen," said the Englishman.' Ain't THAT the truth!



"But lets say that the most important is that you have succeeded in discovering your Personal Legend."

The boy didn't know what a person's "Personal Legend" was.

"It's what you have always wanted to accomplish. Everyone, when they are young, knows what their Personal Legend is. At that point in their lives, everything is clear and everything is possible. They are not afraid to dream, and to yearn for everything they would like to see happen to them in their lives. But, as time passes, a mysterious force begins to convince them that it will be impossible for them to realize their Personal Legend."

None of what the old man was saying made much sense to the boy. But he wanted to know what the "mysterious force" was; the merchant's daughter would be impressed when he told her about that!

"It's a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your Personal Legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."

"Even when all you want to do is travel? Or marry the daughter of a textile merchant?"


"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation. All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."



So, I read that and I say to myself: even when all I want to do is play with colors and forms? Or write things down, play with words so I can know what I think?

"Yes, or even search for treasure. The Soul of the World is nourished by people's happiness. And also by unhappiness, envy, and jealousy. To realize one's Personal Legend is a person's only real obligation. All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it."

Amazing, how the Universe is paying so much attention to *me* right now!

I'm ready to start.

This is my best birthday ever, without a doubt.

Two weeks ago I quit my job. I visited my family, had a wonderful time with both of my parents. Got mom drunk one night (for the first time in her life) and she talked about how unhappy she is. *sigh* That was sad, because, as I told her, she has excellent health, all the money she wants to do anything she wants to, a lovely home, and a husband whose worst vice is that he tries to play his organ, banjo and piano for an hour-and-a-half each every day. We talked about her fulfilling herself, finding her own interests and pursuing them, rather than just focusing on all the petty hurts and bitterness and unfullfilled needs that have accumulated over the years. I think, I hope, that maybe our conversation made a difference to her, that maybe she'll begin to focus on all the wonderful things that she has and on what she wants to do with her time, rather than on the things which aren't quite the way she'd like them to be. She decided that she'd really like to volunteer to help out elderly folks who need a hand. I hope she does that.

My dad and I were talking. He's been wonderful, the butsudan he built for me is absolutely perfect, and the truck he gave me is a total MoGgie-mobile. We were talking about my sister-in-law and he mentioned that, no matter where she lives, she's one of those people who's always going to be unhappy, and that that's something that will never change. I reminded him that I have always been one of those people too, and that it *is* possible to change if you want to and find a way. He looked at me and he agreed. And he told me that I'm an absolute delight to be around, now. WOW! That felt amazing, as all my life I've felt I was such a disappointment to him. I think that's probably the most meaningful compliment I've ever received.

I got to know my nephew. He's a most extraordinary child, of course. He and I hit it off and had a great time, which blew everyone's mind since I don't really enjoy little kids. But *this* one, when we get down low together and grrrrrrr and play, and then he dashes across the room and launches himself into me (that's his idea of a hug), and the way he just *got* it when I was on the rocking chair and turned myself into an airplane for him....*sigh*... I think I'm going to be spending a *lot* of time with my nepphie in the future. I can't wait til he's old enough to take camping! This auntie business truly is the best of all worlds!

Sharon and Alec. Oy vey. I doubt that marriage will make it. Just possibly they can start fresh, draw a line over past hurts. But I dunno. They're both pretty bitter. At l;east I have forged a good, trusting relationship with Sharon. I think I'm the only one in the family she feels at ease with right now. And I hope that she figures out how to make herself happy, for herself. I hope I can help. I think that's their only hope together, as Alec is a cold S.O.B at times, and this is one of them. He's not capable of helping her to become the woman he thought he was marrying so many years ago.

And me: I'm living my Personal Legend. Today I started on my first mosaicing project. How funny, to watch myself resist actually *doing* it, and then to recognize what I was up to, and to suddenly activate myself. Now the living room is full of a 4'x6' piece of plywood, a bunch of broken mirror, newspaper, and a dream in motion. ahhhhhhhh.

In another nine days I'll be taking off on a two-week Great Adventure, camping through the east coast up to South Carolina, then popping over to the mountains of North Carolina, then Tennesee and the Smokies, then Atlanta (my nepphie!) and down Florida's west coast. Mission objective: to get enough material to complete my photo/Buddha book by the end of this year. I can. I CAN!

And when I return home I'll paint myself silly, and I'll see if there's still an opportunity to show my work ay Fusion this year. And I'll put some of my mosaic stuff out there in the local galleries and see who bites. And I'll work part-time doing make-up to supplement my new, improved lifestyle.

Ahhhhhhh. Life is definitely god. <---- typo alert, and I think it was a Freudian typo. Life is god, life is good. Same thing. Now truly, after all these years of being Mother of God, Empress of the Universe, I feel as if I'm comfortably wearing that tiara. And it fits, without slipping or pinching! Wooooooohoooooo!

Happy birthday to meeeeeeeee! (actually a Belvedere martini)