h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, as some of you know, I'm a recovering anoretic, and was also bulemic at one point in time. I say I'm recovering because it never truely leaves you. Once you've got it, it stays with you forever. This past week has been hell for me. I've got finals (college) in two weeks, work non-stop, and I've realized that slowly but surely I'm slipping back into my old patterns. In a way, that fightens me. On the other hand, it enthralls me... it calls my name and begs me to come back. I found that I miss the "high" from not eating. That little dizzy moment when you stand up too quick. The pride that for yet another day you've eaten next to nothing. The rational part of my brain says to stop immediately. That health is more important than trying to reach some goal that my twisted mind has set as an "ideal". But the emotional part of my brain is telling me to head down that rabbit hole again, full throttle. I don't know anymore. Well, just letting off steam. If anyone wants to weigh in on the matter, feel free. I do ask that no one post any "hate" messages. If you can't be neutral, don't speak. Thanks.