h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(Transcribed from a mass email I sent yesterday morning around 1:00am)

No s**t, there I was. That's how my roommate Martin Gaudiniski(hitherto refered to as, "the G-Man") always
starts off his stories. He claims it's the only way to start off anything. Call me a traditionalist, but I still prefer
the good ol' "Once upon a time," or maybe, "People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden."

So, as I was saying, no s**t, there I was. I'm in college, typing up an email on the G-man's iMac. Yes, he has
an iMac. It's crazy down here in St. John's land. I'm listening to Pavement, post-seminar. We were discussing
if man or the gods are superior in the Illiad, or at least as Homer presents it in said epic poem. We left on a
grand philosophical note: What makes the gods Immortal, makes them inferior. Humans, faced with mortality,
are infused with an intense passion for life, as we realize it is short. We _must_ live. There might not be a
tomorrow. My 5 discjust changed to TMBG, Lincoln, off of the Then: The Earlier Years collection. Ana Ng is
an incomprehensibly beautiful song. It's inspired alot of mood lately, which is an entirely complex story. I
would rather not start that story with no s**t there I was.

Everyone's always asking me what St. John's is like. Well, okay, they really don't...well, a few do, but it's
mainly my parents, and they don't count. Purple Toupee will show the way, stuff like that. Anyways, it was a
very late and darkish night. That would be tonight,which is actually morning. but to describe my current state,
we'd have to go back a few hours, to when it was still night, and not morning, which it is right now. there has
been a crime spree recently in Annapolis, and they're hitting on St. Johnnies, and they don't have romantic
intentions neither. I'm guessing Cage and Aquarium(track 5 on Then), is a parody of Age of Aquarius in Hair,
which makes it doubly nifty. So I was feeling uppity after the seminar tonight, circa 10:00 pm. I wanted to go
on an adventure. After discussing with ****************************** and ************************************
about the japanese wunderfud Pocky and the ubercoolness of Brak, I felt like going on an adventure. He ended
up sad, he ended sad, he ended up really really really sad!!!!! *whistle, pirate sounds* I apologize for the
random insertion of TMBG lyrics and tidbits. I'm going full-goose stream of Virginia Woolfishness here....plus
I'm feeling incredibly tired and insane. Anyways, I really wanted to go on an adventure. I saw a girl named
********* that I had an interest in ever since she decided to stay and sit with me at dinner after everyone left.
interest, really, just as a friend. She understood the meaning of pants, which forms an instant bond.
Bowenberry(A very good friend of mine with the last name of Bowen and is a senior in high school now - Ed)
knows this. anyways, tonight, she seemed to be having fine with some guy I've never seen before. He had a
cigarette. The good thing was though, that I was too abjectedly happy for now reason at all to really care
about it. Considering the crime spree, I felt so happy, in a very strange empty way, that, if I felt ready to die if
if the possibility came up. That may sound shocking to you, but I really felt that way. It's scary really thinking
about, and it was scary as I walked around state circle in annapolis around 11:00 pm. But I didn't care. I was
singing REM songs as I skipped around town all by myself. It was beautiful. These kind of things make my
vision blur and focus rapidly; they change my view. It was revitalizing. I don't know what you may think of this,
all of you, but I loved it. I was ready to embrace anything, even it was nothing. Parenthetically, I've abstained
from all substances here, except my green tea and the chemicals in the pages of books. But, I do have a
shoehorn with teeth. Anyways.It was a beautiful night. G-man downloaded Britney Spears songs on
Justin's(my neighbor) napster box. Everyone is disarmingly nice here. It's very disarming, indeed, yet nice.
Anyways, i love it. I've had a multitude of theo-philosophical discussions, including one that lasted for 6 hours
between 6 people. It's amazingly cool. I love being here. Ofcourse, I miss all you guys. I hopeyou guys are
doing fantastical. If you guys change your email addresses, just tell me, and please send to
[email protected] rather than [email protected]. Write back! I hope to hear all about your wacky
recent adventures. I'm very sleepy and must translate greeek now. Dammit.

Cheers,
Scott