h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If you don't know, I work at a kid's science museum. (Part time cause I'm just sixteen and still have to go to school. ) That said, on with the story!

I thought it was going to be a normal weekend work day. Go to the museum, head down to the Idea Lab, show the kids how to make little solar powered cars, deal with annoying parents, go home.

How very wrong I was.

I knew something was off almost immediately; were ten times more people outside the museum than usual. That was strange; usually there were fewer people on nice sunny days (Even in summer, it's mostly fog around here in the San Francisco area.) like this one. That didn't bother me, though. I went inside like usual. The person behind the desk wasn't someone I knew, but that wasn't much out of the ordinary. I had only walked a few steps in the direction of the Idea Lab when I noticed the mushrooms.

What were all these mushrooms doing in the museum? What was with the huge sign saying "Mushroom Day"? It was supposed to be a roller coaster exhibit, but much of that was gone, replaced by mushrooms. There were tables filled with potted mushrooms, diagrams of the insides of mushrooms, and charts showing the many types of local mushrooms. This was enough to make me stop and look around nervously, but nobody was running around yelling, "Who put the mushrooms here?" so I assumed it wasn't a problem. I continued on my way.

There were even more mushrooms downstairs, where the Idea Lab is. There were huge models of mushrooms in the hallways and, in every room I passed, there were tables full of mushrooms instead of the usual things. When I got to the Idea Lab, I practically had a heart attack. Instead of materials for making little solar powered cars, the tables had little trays of mushrooms on them, and little placards telling what type of mushroom they were. Instead of one of my normal coworkers, there was a guy wearing a brown t-shirt with a picture of a mushroom on it, and a little name tag that said "Bob, Mushroom Specialist".

I started hyperventilating, but there was nothing to do but act calm and try to find out what was going on. I walked into the Idea Lab, noticing on the way that the sign saying "Idea Lab" outside the door had been replaced by one saying "Types of Edible Mushrooms", and cautiously approached Bob, Mushroom Specialist. The conversation went like this:
Me: Excuse me, could you tell me what happened to the Idea Lab?
Bob, Mushroom Specialist: What's the Idea Lab?
Me: It used to be here, but now this is Types of Edible Mushrooms.
Bob, Mushroom Specialist: Sorry, but I don't know anything about that.

I left the room, feeling more nervous than when I had entered. Well, I decided, it shouldn't be hard to find a staff member I knew and ask them what was with all the mushrooms. I walked from room to room, but in every room there was an other mushroom exhibit and another Mushroom Specialist. I wandered around the hallways, looking for something familiar, but finding nothing. Only mushrooms.

Finally, I sat down on a bench facing a model of a Portabella and tried to come up with a plausible explanation. I couldn't, so I came up with a few implausible explanations.
1. Upon entering the museum I have stepped through a gateway to the future and landed myself at a time when this is a mushroom museum.
2. Somehow the museum got turned into a mushroom museum and I was not notified.
3. Mushrooms have taken over the world and are using propaganda to get children on their side.

Because there was nothing I could do if any of the implausible theories were right, I continued on the futile path of trying to find someone I knew. I think that was when I had a nervous breakdown, because I kept seeing Star Trek characters. I had been watching Deep Space Nine all morning, but that was still abnormal.
Fortunately for my sanity, every Star Trek character I saw turned out not to really look like them when I got a better view. That, of course, did not stop the constant appearance of Star Trek characters to worsen my mental condition. After a few minutes I had seen Captain Kirk, Sisko, Chief O'Brien, Troi, Dax, Kira, and Weyoun (A minor Deep Space Nine character; a member of the dominion.) In my nervous breakdown frame of mind, I realized that the only one of them wearing a Mushroom Specialist pin had been Weyoun, which gave me fourth implausible theory:
4. The Dominion has joined forces with the mushrooms and has made this museum their base as they plan their next attack, not knowing that characters from three different star trek generations have gone under cover to prevent their evil plot from succeeding.

I realized that enough time had passed that someone else would be at the front desk, so I ran upstairs, trying not to look at mushrooms on the way. The person at the desk was, in fact, someone I knew, and I was very relieved to be able to ask them what was going on.
Apparently, they had scheduled a mushroom day a long time ago, but had somehow missed emailing me. It would be over after that day, and I could go on with my life. My usual job wasn't necessary, so I could go home.

I did. I spent the rest of the day recovering and drinking tea, and went back to work later with the wonderful knowledge that mushroom day was over.

lol, good for you!

I notice that you didn't eat any of the mushrooms

I'm afraid I may never want to eat mushrooms again.