h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I seem to have taken leave of what little bit of sense I still had this last week.

In a moment of weakness, I decided to attempt (once again) to quit the burning of tobacco rolled into little paper tubes and packed twenty to a package. I had what I considered, at the time, valid points for this flight of fancy.

1. My next birthday is bringing an 'O' with it.

2. The cost has gone from $.20 to about $4.

3. It now takes longer to quit coughing in the morning upon my awakening.

4. As difficult as this may be to believe; Dorothyland's PTB kicked a considerable (by my standards-sofa change to them) chunk of the tobacco settlement money to a local organization dedicated to the relief of chemical addictions for our so afflicted denizens. The monies are to be spent establishing programs for (of all things) quitting smoking and keeping the next gen from getting started. To this end, the local wizard (program coordinator) approached the local radio stations (o.k., four of them anyway) with a novel proposition. She had them broadcast details of a pilot program wherein the wizard would subsidize the costs of an on-line quit smoking program patented by the 'sons of sheep stealers', prescription drugs, and nicotine replacement patches to the first ninety-four people (oh c'mon, this is a small town) that were willing to try it. The only requirement of the would be beneficiaries was to personally request the assistance and sign a waiver absolving anyone connected with any part of the program from damages.

Piece of cake. Right? Sure.

Here's where I screwed up. I took the necessary steps to reach one of the radio stations, signed the waiver, and "voila", I was in. I then called upon the wizard to get clarification on a couple of points in the printed material given to me in exchange for my signature on the waiver. That done, I went about my merry way, terrified at the prospect of actually going through with the plan. I mean, these things had been my pals for over thirty years. Sticking with me thru thick and thin, rain or shine, and day and night. Both of us keeping the pact we had negotiated so long ago, me to keep smoking them and they to kill me extremely slowly. But, I digress.

The biggest mistake I made was confiding my plans to those closest to me. How was I to know they would greet the news with enthusiasm, expressions of support, and expections of completion! How could I have been so foolish?

It is now in excess of forty-eight hours since I smoked my last cigarette. I have gotten to the point where I have to have a cigarette or strangle someone. I can't smoke (they are watching me all the time and are everywhere), and the roof of my house is not high enough to ensure my demise , as opposed to serious injuries with excruciating pain and suffering.

So, my new mantra is "maybe you're the one".

STICK WITH IT.
I managed to quit drinking for the first time in twenty years.
Been two months now without a beer.

I'm thinking of quitting smoking as I, too, have a birthday ending in '0' coming up next month. I remember the day and the place I started smoking.
I remember every brand I have smoked.
I remember every ashtray I have owned.
And I remember at least three bouts with pneumonia or strep in the last six years.
You can do it. To hell with the rest of them. Forget about the program. It was getting with the program that probably helped you start in the first place.
One thing that might help you is if you change your eating habits.
Smoking makes everything taste different and quitting makes everything you're used to taste funny. If you are eating things that you normally don't, they're going to taste funny anyway, so nothing to compare it to.
I quit drinking one hour at a time. One drive past the store where I used to buy beer at a time. I'm still quitting, but I haven't backslid just yet.

Can't imagine how you happened across this entry but, am extremely glad you did.
Thank you so much for the encouragement, it is greatly appreciated.
I forbore strangling anybody today, but, was giving serious consideration to running a few of them over with the car.
On a lighter note: congrats on your efforts to forgo imbibing. It just so happens I undertook that that endeavor some years ago. Going to sleep and waking up are kinda interesting concepts, don't you think. Sometimes back then I was only able to quit for a minute at a time. Kinda like this smoking thing is now. My own experience and that of several others I have known suggests that you may be better served waiting for a while before you quit smoking (you don't have to wait fifteen years, tho'). It's much easier to address one vice at a time. (Kinda keeps the committee focused.)
Anyway,I haven't been around much this last couple of quarters and thought there might be some sympathetic souls about with which I could commiserate on my current unfortunate circumstance. Thought I'd kinda peek back in and see if the coast was clear and reacquaint myself with some far flung friends. Seems as though I may have acquired another one. Thanks.

Look forward to hearing from you again.
jr

Otay. you know where I is.

By the way, I found you in the 'who's online' list.

Having a wunnerful time with my ISP this evening but, wanted to get back in long enough to apprise you that I too am still quitting.
ttfn

, jr. It's nice to see you again.

Have you still managed to restrain yourself from strangling anyone? Feel free to rant in my direction if it helps relieve the stress, anxiety or [insert appropriate emotion here].

Witty