h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Everyone else in the world has expired.
I picture myself, roaming the sreets alone. I Stop in book shops and help myself. I Pile the trolley in sainsbury's with the best of everything and retire home to eat it, without consequence.
I live in a world without noise, without expense, without Slimfast commercials, atkins, lo-carb options, without my boss phoning me to tell me things I already know, without my colleagues thinking the do not disturb button on my phone being activated, means knock on my door to tell me there's phone call instead, without war, without sky movies, without adverts, without cars, planes, trains, buses, traffic, tourists, fashion, insurance, mortgages, ISAs, soft strong reliable toilet tissue, ssri's, bse, e-coli, autism, MMR, Health visitors, GP's, MP's, MEP's, MSP's, councillers, mormons, double glazing, fitted kitchens, home owner loans and the Cartoon network.
then I remember, there'd be no more Green and Black's chocolate.
At that point I open my eyes and get out of bed.
Damn I'm cheap.

I've got a boss who also likes to tell me things I already know, as well as ask me things I've already answered at least 3 times (does she not believe me?). I like to fantasise about shoving her out of the window, but given that I'm only 5'3" and she's 6'2" I suspect I might come off worse

ooooh an amazon for a boss - nightmare. I am taller than my male boss (I'm 5' 8" and he has short man's syndrome) but he's in devon and I'm in Scotland so he remains safe for the moment. Geography and the expense of train fares alone are on his side.
The secret (I reckon) is to make sure she's looking the other way, so you've got the element of suprise going for you, before you make that decisive shove.
Happy homicide!

now, where's my chocolate?

Ahhh.

I went for a walk for nearly an hour this afternoon and then undid most of the good that might have done me by calling at the Co-op on Cauldwell Hall Road and buying a dipped flake. Mmmmmmmmm

I disagree - you have walked and taken excercise then rewarded yourself with something that made you happy. The benefits of the excercise are not undone by a bit of chocolate - don't fall into the trap of torturing yourself. Chocolate's good for you and anyone that thinks it isn't is a masochist.
Enjoy it.
Life's short enough and shite enough without denying yourself a bit of joy. As long as it's not made by nestle - what with them being utter ing s


scoff.
I've done almost no excercise today and cooked a big lovely curry for tea and I'm not feeling guilty. Hurrah for food.

Chocolate, lamb, potatoes, broccili. That's misspelt

That's what I've eaten today. I didn't get to sleep until 7am this morning and THEN I slept 12 hours...so now I'm worried I'm going to turn into some kind of owl and miss all my piano and psych appointments! It wouldn't matter if I didn't have those two things. Maybe I could give one up...no maybe not. Oh dear

hello kat!
I think 7am is a perfectly reasonable time to go to bed if you don't have anything to get up for. And there's nothing wrong will owls.
Before I had kids and full time employment to torture myself with I used to stay up all night, all the time.
I made lamb methi gosht, spinach and veg pakora and sabzi sambir for tea last night and felt extremely smug. God I love curry.
And there's leftovers for lunch - I love curry on day two when it's had a chance to mature a bit.
yum yum yum.

I'm a fan of spicy food myself. I made vegetable burritos for tea last night - and they were b****y gorgeous if I say so myself! (and I do)

I don't really watch my weight, but my bloke has been trying to lose weight since Christmas (and has succeeded in losing a stone already!). I eat a reasonably healthy diet most of the time - but there's always room in my life for .

men are so irritating - when they decide to lose weight, they appear to lose shedloads in a few weeks. grumble grumble.
I put on about three stone with child no, 2 - I ended up doing the low carb thing. It worked and I'm back to my prebaby size 12-14 - albeit a bit saggier than before. Admittidly I'm closer to 14 than 12 right now but it's february - my body has no inclination to try and lose weight right now. Hence risotto for tea - I can feel the insulin related hypoglycemia approaching right now....zzzzz

I ah...I had spaghetti bolognase for dinner, but dad missed it because he's angry and has gone out for the night. Then I accidently made mam cry by being alive and being messed up and wanting to go stay with a 29 year old guy who is actually very nice but none of my friends are my age anymore and I don't know any of them in real life because the ones I had have either chucked me or can't deal with me or their parents hate me. And I'm planning on going to America...to stay with people I've never met before but have told mam I know from school and I feel guilty but otherwise I will NEVER go out of my house!

Ahem...sorry

oh dear,
for what it's worth, I don't htink it's a good idea for you to go and stay with a 29 year old man either. i don't care how nice he seems - I've done the 10 year difference thing at your age - it's a bit dodgy. Keep your wits about you at any rate.
So who are the Americans you're staying with? I understand you want to escape but you need to be a bit careful about what you do. People are often not the same in real life as they seem in words. I had an old school friend to stay - hadn't seen her in over ten years - and she was NUTS!
Now I don't mean to seem insensitive here but she was bonkers - total munchausan's syndrome. Reckoned her husband's mate had died in the pentagon in 9/11, was wearing a totally unnecessary arm brace, refused to wash for the entire weekend - despite repeated attempts by me to encourage her (nasty) and claimed numerous eating disorders, intolerances, pseudo vegetarianism etc - an all round nightmare. Now that probably sounds judgemental but you had to meet her to see it. And she was never really like that at school - a bit of a hypochodriac - but nothing more. She had parted with reality some years previous to coming to stay with me.
Just watch yourself - I think - is the moral. Sorry if I'm lecturing.