h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't really do anything creative... I haven't written a short story for more than a year... I haven't creeated any art with a computer for many months and I've never been much good using a computer for art anyway.., I haven't draw anything on paper of significance for a few months and I can't remember the last time I wrote a poem of any merit.

I guess it's all comparative, but you actually sound like a very creative person. Remove all the Eeyore-style negativity from your post and you get:

"I do a variety of creative things... I've written a number of short stories--the last one just over a year ago... in the past year I've experimented with computer art and I've completed some significant drawings on paper. I'm a poet, too, though I'm not completely satisfied with my latest works."



Have fun with DeviantArt.

I'm currently learning how to write scripts for stageplays. It's amusing to see the different reactions of people when I show them my stuff for comments and criticism. One friend was quite happy to say, "ah. You've missed a fundamental rule about scripting stories--here, let me explain;" but another got really embarrassed for me because they didn't want to tell me how amateurish my work looks. Of *course* it's amateurish: I'm an amateur. That's the whole point! But I'm enjoying seeing my abilities starting to grow.

Mmm... My last short story, A2135972 and the last poems I was happy with A2203246 and A2183627.

I'd like to do something with Deviant, I don't have a digital camera or a scanner so photography and drawing are out, which leaves writing or some sort digital manipulation...

To sucessful script writing!

Rather than assuming that your silence is your polite avoidance of telling how gaddamnorful my scribblings are... I'll just ask you to share your genuine opinion on 'em...

No, no, sorry about that. Not avoidance: I enjoyed them. I realised I'd read the poems before, and found them very lyrical. I *will* give you a proper response on them and the story; I've just got limited computer time at the mo.

Just read the story. Brill. I'll get back to you with some thoughts.

I've finished my second script. Hoorah!


THE WELSHMAN AND THE MAGUS

The myth about Arthur and his knights asleep under the mountain is a favourite of mine. Are you a fellow Cymry, then? I enjoyed your descriptions and the atmosphere you evoked. The style reminds me a little of the Mabinogion.

Paradoxically, I think your story would be richer if you remove a lot of the adjectives and adverbs, leaving the reader more freedom to build their own mental picture. A talented writer friend once advised me to remove all the adjectives and adverbs from a piece of my writing, then re-introduce them to the level of (approximately) one adjective per paragraph, and one adverb per page. It felt like I was destroying the piece, but when I read back over it, it did look better. I think you would benefit from this technique, too.

Your first sentence takes the reader straight there into that world, and gives an idea of the tone of the tale. I enjoyed the first paragraph, but found myself wanting to know a bit more about Iwan--maybe another 3 sentences or so, to build up a contrast between his prosaic life and what happens next.... Then again, most writers say it's best to start a short story as late into the plot as you can, and end as early, so what do I know.

I enjoyed the ending, after you'd lulled me into a false sense of security. None of this "happily ever after" shit.

I'd like to dispute a couple of the spellings--though your sources may say different: "Cymru" is "Wales" and "Cymry" is "Welsh person". "Craig" mutates to "Graig" if it has "the" before it.

All in all, a good story. Here's a gold star.



THIS WORLD

Good song, good title. I'd love to hear it put to rock music with a decent guitar riff. I thought the not-quite-refrain of every third and fourth line was clever. My favourite line is: "I'll take Death's hand and go dreaming." I do like a good metaphor.


BLEED ME DRY

Would go well with Death Metal, I reckon. Technically it's good, but the subject matter, or perhaps the way it was expressed, didn't grab me, somehow. Horses for courses and all that.



Have you read any lyrics by Leonard Cohen? I imagine you'd enjoy them.

Thanks for the . Here's to your next writing project!

I'm Welsh in blood, I used to have enough of it to get by with in the language, but I can't ever follow a conversation in Froggish now I was fairly fluent in that.
I'll take the comparison to the Mabinogion as a flattery.

Re-eading it I have to agree that I got caried in self-indulgent use of language. Or perhaps at the time I thought that the us of 'flowery' language could add something...

I'm out of time, hope to discuss this a little at the weekend.

Okley-dokley, neighbourino. Looking forward to your next piece of creativity....

... I know the difference between Cymry, Cymreag and Cymru, it's not meant to say the enemies of Wales, it is meant to say the ememies of the welsh people, the Cymry.
As for Craig/Graig, I beg forgiveness

'None of this "happily ever after" shit.'

'Here's a gold star.' Thank you m'dear, I'll treasuely eternally.

'Good song, good title. I'd love to hear it put to rock music with a decent guitar riff. I thought the not-quite-refrain of every third and fourth line was clever.'

Know anyone?

'Have you read any lyrics by Leonard Cohen? I imagine you'd enjoy them'

Not at this time I haven't... maybe at some point over the weekend.

'Here's to your next writing project!'

I had several ideas/themes I want to put in a poem but it didn't really come together, so I tried turning it into song... which only made it worse.

"
BLEED ME DRY

Would go well with Death Metal, I reckon. Technically it's good, but the subject matter, or perhaps the way it was expressed, didn't grab me, somehow. Horses for courses and all that."

Technically it's sh!te. It was just something I wrote expressing the varios feelings I was having that I felt like screaming. ie. Choas of in my head and heart. Wanting someone to kill me slowly softly lovingly taking my blood from my viens. It could also be viewed as a selfharm poem. Still lokking at it for the firsttime in at least 8 months I can declare that it is sh!te.

"I know the difference between Cymry, Cymraeg and Cymru"

That's alright, then.

"Know anyone?"

Hmm, well I used to know some rock musicians in the days when I had a social life. Maybe it's time I learned to play the guitar that's been gathering dust in the corner.

"Technically it's sh!te"

It's good that you can run a critical eye over your own work. Like you, I find it easier to see what needs changing after having not looked at a piece for a while. Just don't let it discourage you from writing more, eh? I didn't dare put pen to paper for about three years after I finished my degree, because of all the (so-called) rules knocking about in my head.

"It was just something I wrote expressing the various feelings I was having"

Writing poetry's quite cathartic at times, ain't it? I've written many similar things myself. Like this one, for instance:

A knife in shining armour
Come to carry me away
Upon his steed of mandrake seed
Into the darkening day.

He'll love me and he'll cleave me
As all knife-errants should,
And I will wake upon a lake
Of flowers soft as blood.



Leonard Cohen: this is one of my faves: http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/leonard_cohen/take_this_waltz.html.

Oh, to write like that guy!

I like the poem about the Knife.