h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There must still be in my blood as my typing is still for !

I'm not so sure you would do to others what you may have done to her... You have changed, the next person isn't her, lots of things will be different, so no reason to repeat something you know was not great.

My father once observed that every relationship is different, because different people bring out different things in each other. I've certainly found that to be true of my own relationships.

One of the first searches I did on the internet was for 'Suicide Girl' I'd never heard of the famous Suicide Girls site. I searched for it because it was the name I had that summed up one of the personality types that I'm drawn to.
You know the film 'Breakfast Club' Ally Sheedy's character at the end gets a make-over from Molly Ringwald's... I prefered her before the makeover. Hair flopped dow in front of her face because she's shy, hiding a coat that's too big for her. Dressed in black.

. . . I've forgotten what my point was!

I once wrote a poem about a girl like that. I shall inflict it on you now.


She gazes through the window to the concrete down below.
She's aware that it is snowing but she does not see the snow.
She watches without seeing all the ghosts pass to and fro.
She thinks of nothing since it is the kindest thing to know--
And wrapped in her shield of invisible dark
She hides from the world, she hides from the world;
Like a tree standing tall under strong, calloused bark
She hides from the world outside.

If you ask her how she's feeling she will look at you and smile.
If self-control is drug-induced she'll talk with you awhile.
If you think you've won her trust then you have fallen for her guile.
If you want to understand her you won't get within a mile--
In a long, heavy coat, hoping never to feel,
She hides from the world, she hides from the world;
Like a spiderweb built in a pipe of steel
She hides from the world outside.

Tis good.
My crappy verse is an insult to your poem by merely being on the same thread.

She gazes at the floor, looking pretty but downcast
As the colours on the carpet swirl and move their mark
She can see all the ghosts as the run her past
She only notice the living if soul glows in the dark
She'll drawn you in with the pure
And spit you out with mailce on her lips
Leaving you with wounds no other lover can cure.


Anyway, I'm starting gets thoughts of loving her crawl around at the back of my mind. So I feel like shit, hope they don't last.

A femme fatale! My favourite kind of woman. (From a distance.)

"hope they don't last."

Good luck with that, my friend.

It's want. Not love... the thoughts of love are echos of the past stimulated by how very easy she is to want.

Decided not post the journal detailing thoughts and feelings of more than 4 years ago under the other account. Then decided they revealed too much of the working of my mind in the past and perhaps still today even for here.

I was crying ealier. Like the child that hasn't gotten it's way. Crying because they don't make the toy I want anymore. Crying because the other kids got to the toy I wanted first. Crying because if I had spoken up when I had the chance I could have the very first edition when it was at it's most beautiful, when it was pristine and hadn't been taken out of it's box.

Yup. The box doth not make the doll. But I'm very sorry you lost the doll.

Don't be. I probably would have broken it anyway.

My oh my... Having her down for the past few days has me feeling very much in love.

Surprise, surprise!

She's far too sensible to enter into a relationship with me for third time. Our hearts are metaphorically scarred and our bodies have the the physical scars of past relationships. She has love for me, I have love for her, but I am worried that this fact will make her want to break off contact with again so that she can more easily lock it away, get me out of her mind.

'Oh. She's the only one that makes me sad.

She is everything and more...
The solemn hypnotic...
My Dahlia, you're bathed in posession...
She is home to me.'

[slipknot]

This space and journal are compromised by my careless posting. Can't use it anymore.

I'm sorry that's the way you feel.

I've been thinking of getting another account for myself. I have some things to think out loud about that isn't suitable for people who might know me - but I would feel so lonely! My current one is where my friends are...

*drifts off in thought*

Sorry, you were explaining something?

I think about doing that every now and again. As time goes on, the chances of one's personal space being compromised rises. People from my RL have already started finding my journal. Fortunately, I haven't said anything too deeply personal. Yet!