h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"suz - *dances round the room with a ring on her finger!*"

Seen that a thousand times since it was written, [it appears on the list of spaces subscribed to my journal].
Been quite a while since it has affected me... Appreciably.

Coming up to two years since I gave her that ring.

Oh, well.
I'm not howling desolute cries of grief. Just aware that something is missing and making sad.

Sounds like progress. Is that because you've looked at it so many times?

No, it's not because I've *seen* it so many times.

Uh. Yeah. *Seen* it.

"Looked at it so many" suugests that I've specificly sat and stared at the name frequently. I've not.

Yes, I realised that after you'd corrected me.

Awww, hon, s and s for you....

It's back.

The emptiness is back?

Mmm. Still feeling empty, numb and distacted is an improvement on last year...

Good point!

I've got a ravenous emptiness... A restless hole in my chest... Tugging and tearing at my flesh... Beaten it black... Beaten it blue...
I've got a ravenous emptiness... Poisoned blood of a restless daemon... Clawing its way from frozen fingers to... Numb tightly fitting skull...
I've got a ravenous emptiness... Tastes of metal on my swollen tongue...
I've got a ravenous emptiness...I'll raise my glass of blood drained dead...
I've got a ravenous emptiness... A halo about a consumed man's neck... Tell me there is hope for the sinner.... With devils at my ear.....
I've got a ravenous emptiness... It can't be filled not even with...
Blood and spit and sweat and cum... obsesssion, addiction and all mortal cravings...
I've got a ravenous emptiness... I've got a ravenous emptiness... I've got a ravenous emptiness... Now recite the truth you came inside your cravings for... Here to find.

To a grunge backing track....

That's what happen when you let my head loose with a keyboard... You get banality or whatever you wanna call that...

Seems to my week for feeling this kind of weak...
Was catching up on Sproutlore Phorum when I come across a post by Suz... I managed to visit her website without wanting slash open my limbs and scream and otherwise destroy myself... Just this great hungry hollow inside growling at me, threatening to consume me outward but not doing it.

Wow, Nyxkind, that's a real improvement! You were able to visit her site and everything.

Not that you're exactly jumping for joy, like. But I'm surprised and pleased that it didn't make you want to cut yourself etc.

She's a Rankin fan too, then?

I didn't spend long there... I didn't exactly explore the place.
I saw a recent picture of her picture and one short journal entry.
I need to not try an evaluate what I saw...
There was a time when that would have been enough send me into slef-destruct...
She is still beautiful. A beautiful *stranger*... remembering that is important in how I cope.


Yes, she is/was a Rankin fan.

[Long story deleted]