h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A customer comes in to the retures desk with a very bad mood, slaps down her receipt and demanded a refund,
I asks "whats the matter?"
Customer "i bought this flooring and the person on flooring department said it would be suitable for my livingroom."
I said " o dear" and with out taking a breath and with a very striaght face the customer continued
"and when i got home it didn't go with my furniture and don't get me started on my curtains"

Do they come any dafter than that?

Sounds like someone I know..

I had some, when I was a television engineer

well tell me the best one that made you laff (when you left of cause)

used to go to homes and repair rentals. One old lady, used to get bathed in a tin tub,in front of fire and she would put a towel over the TV, co's she could see them on telly, she thought that they could see her in the bath

another time, I was repairing a tv and the lady said that her husband was always telling her to pull the telly plug out of the socket at night, so I said he is right to tell you, its safety, the next second, she said ,he's been dead 15 years you knowI'm off your tellys fixed

brill....................... sometimes you don't think there are some like that at all but then you get them in hoards

so true, one time, the complaint was no power to the telly, so when I removed the back, I took one look and walked out of the house, back to the shop and informed the manager/my boss, I would not go back to that house-ever. The reason:- in corner of telly, a load of paper(which I thought kids had stuffed down)it moved! it was a nest of mice, I will not discribe the state of the house

and that reminds me of another one

Customer comes in with two mice traps, you know the old fashion types, one snap and they are dead type.
Anyway.... she says that it did not catch the mice they would just walk over or past them.
So i set the thing up and touched it with my good pen ..............bang
one broken pen............customer said it does not work.............i ask what sort of bait are you using ........................ ooo not using any bait..............she said...........it took all the power i had not to laff

and the best bit is, when they put cheese on, it will not work, mice do not actually like cheese and will keep away from it

going to blow zzz's, will see you later, take care Maria