h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have just written A30529118. I've submitted it to PR because if there is any kind of article for which the EG was intended, it's this kind. It celebrates the mundane, and asks us to consider in an almost anal level of detail, the kind of activity to which we'd usually never give a second thought. It's totally practical and praiseworthy in that it might stop someone from getting burned, poisoned or worse. It would probably be published nowhere else, and for that consideration alone is the ideal h2g2 Edited Guide entry.

It is also the most tedious thing I have ever written. As I scrape the bottom of the barrel, h2g2 achieves the zenith of its original purpose yet again. I thought I had a pretty good grasp of what the word 'ennui' meant, until now.

Hey, don't dismiss us thickies like that. It never occurred to me not to touch the outside of the gloves! Mind you, I live with four dogs, who track mud and whatever else they've stepped in through the house many, many times a day.

It's not the readership I'm dismissing. It's the fact that I can't think of anything better to write, but h2g2 itself wouldn't much be bothered if I couldn't.

Well, I'm reduced to writing about dogs. No more scouring London for interesting bits and pieces to write about. Sod all to write about in Brentwood.

There are two attractions nearby I *should* write about: Nottingham Broadway and Attenborough Nature Reserve. Both require *doing* research of the *legwork* variety. Not endlessly sitting in front of a computer, Googling.

Go on, get up and out there before the crowds start arriving!

I ought to, really: it's a grand day for it.

I've just been into Notts City - bleurgh, steer clear. I suggest you take a brisk stroll around Atenborough

I have to go to bloody Ikea now to buy a bed and wardrobes for my daughter. Grrr.

Bloody wimmin

I decided to go online. £431 later...IKEA Online is evil!

Still, she now has a loft bed and some nice wardrobes.

IKEA is Swedish for crap !

I've gone mad and finally finished my article on William Booth, and then written an entry on the Coventry Martyrs.

For some reason I've suddenly got a few ideas, after writing nothing for about a year.

Strange.

It's not that bad: they have good and bad stuff, and you just have to be selective.

I'm glad you've picked up the pen again, and the subjects you mention look like good ones. I'm pretty neutral as to what makes a good EG entry, but I have some pretty strong ideas about what makes a bad one. I haven't seen too many of the latter recently in PR, except for that 'Namechecks' one by SoRB. I didn't weigh-in there because I thought it so transparently formulaic and lacking in merit that it wouldn't be actively recommended by *anyone*.

I'm fighting a rearguard battle against being dragged to the new Ikea store in Coventry.

I love their kitchen gadgets, and cheap accessories - but their furniture dissapoints me - for example when buying a young person's bed I do not expect to have to buy the slats to support the mattress as a seperate item. If I was a building my first home then I'd be delighted with many of the things there to utilise my space efficiently, clever design, and pleasing appearance, but sometimes the build quality is lacking.

I like Ikea's stuff, but I hate the store - all that one way business does my head in.

They do however do *extremely* cheap low energy bulbs.

Being on benefits as I am I collect a couple from the council every year or so, and I got a couple from British Gas before I left them. Got a bit of a stack of them now cos obviously they don't blow in the same way that old-fashioned lights do.

Watch out for cheap ones - they may be cheap because (and I'm not sure how to explain this so forgie me if I use the wrong words or it comes out exactly how I don't mean it to) they don't have enough colours in them and give off a blue light that doesn't show the true colours of what they're lighting. Or something like that. It's a much harsher light as well.

Funny how these conversations drift, isn't it? I start off talking about ennui, and we end up discussing lightbulbs. Not that I have any problem with that whatsoever.

If anything I find the colour balance of the IKEA bulbs better than the usual. Virtually every single bulb in our house is a low energy bulb. I also know that the Government is looking to ban high-wattage incandescent bulbs. But there is a teensy-weensy problem here: home automation is steadily becoming more popular with increasing numbers of homes getting wired with X10 light switches. But X10 light switches are always dimmer switches, and you can't fit low energy light bulbs to dimmer switches (as Mrs Monk found out to our cost recently).

I don't think someone has thought this through properly.

It's because I'm not really clear on the whole 'ennui' thing.

Apparently the dimmer has to be built into the bulb, but that's the limit of my knowledge on that subject. I've never liked dimmers because I've never understood the need. If I want dimmer light, I just put on the table lamp, or two if I need a bit more light but not quite the main room, and if I'm feeling silly I put on the lights.

Ennui is the sense of 'been there, done that', but followed up by 'got nowhere else to go'.

I quite like dimmer switches, especially at two in the morning when one has to go for a wazz, but can't bring oneself to turn the corridor light on.