h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When people pass other people on the street they are totally rude. They don’t even say hello. We cars aren’t like that. When we pass other cars on the street we make sure to say “beep”. And if our drivers don’t let us, we break down or fake a flat tire so that we can have a conversation. If that doesn’t work, we just crash into the other cars, because that’s bound to take a while. We are like dogs to our drivers. Like pets.
Different cars have different attitudes. Race cars are very mean. Trucks and SUV’s are very friendly cars, although they sometimes accidentally run over small cars, because they take lots of time to fill up at the gas station. Gas stations, for cars, are social places. Women have spas, men have bars, and cars have gas stations. Foods have refrigerators, videos have the movie shelf, and books have the bookshelf. Everything has its own social gathering. A cars first trip to the gas station is like the first day of first grade.