h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...I've been busily Sub Editing this. Didn't change an awful amount, just added some links and put the BBCi doctor in. It's here: A884414

Let me know what you think, but really not much is different. Pretty nasty condition, by the way, can't imagine it being much of a giggle.

Cheers, and Happy New Year!

DogManStar

Thanks for giving me the heads up! It's looking good, overall. Here are a few errors/typos I noticed -- I'm sure at least some of these were present in the original version and I just didn't notice them then:

1) In Diagnosis section: "As these doctors specialise in arthritic and autoimmune conditions, they can discount other conditions that might have similar symptoms." Using the word 'discount' doesn't quite work here. I'm guessing that you didn't want to use 'rule out' twice in the paragraph, but that's really the most accurate usage.

2) In Diagnosis section: "These are certain points along the body that tend to be extremely sensitive to gentle pressure, especially among people with fibromyalgia." The comma and the word 'especially' need to be removed. The whole point is that the points aren't sensitive among normal people, only among people with fibromyalgia.

3) In Medications: It might be worth adding in parentheses or something that fluoxetine is more commonly known as Prozac. The ways in which the second half of the paragraph have been edited are technically OK, but I think they've lost the emphasis on the important parts that was key in the original.

4) In Sleep: The whole phrase 'sleep hygiene' should be in quotes, not just 'hygiene'. I put it in quotes because it's a medical term that most people would be unfamiliar with.

5) In Exercise: The addition of the word 'warrant' changes the meaning of the sentence considerably. The original sentence emphasized that the pain can seem so severe that the person might be afraid of trying exercise, whereas using the word 'warrant' implies that the pain changes whether exercise is needed.

That's it, though -- I think the other changes look great!

Thanks for the opportunity to review this -- I think it's especially important with medical entries.


Mikey

OK, attended to that stuff. Yes, 'warrant' was a bit of a clanger, not sure what I was thinking there.

I put something about diagnostic process in for point 1. I'll just put it back to the original if you like.

Yes, I always let the researcher see what I'm doing before sending it off, it is polite if nothing else. In this case it was lucky that I did!

DMS