h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Well, maybe not a nightmare....

I have an irrational fear of classification. Some of you may have encountered my mind-numbingly vast paranoia in regards to my name, location, etc. Probably not unreasonable to assume that they're related in some way.

Anyway, this fear of classification (or perhaprs "resentment towards" would be better than "fear of") finds the strangest times to reveal itself.

I went into a Subway that I hit about once a fortnight (more than that if I'm in the mood and can afford it), and realized that I'd never inquired as to just what the Veggie Delight was. I like salads, so I thought I'd ask.

Sure enough, as many vegetables as I want for the same price as a daily special. That sounded good. But then I tried to order it and the person behind the register got this weird look on her face and said, "You're not going to order that, are you?"

I said yeah, I'd been thinking about it. Then she played the obvious card and said, "But there's no meat on it."

I was clear on this already, though I was puzzled as to why that piece of information was relevant.

As it turns out, I'm a "meat eater" and a Veggie Delight won't "fill me up."



The fact that she'd cared to notice that I normally ordered things like the Spicy Italian or Chipotle Cheese Steak was completely lost to me while I reeled at those lines. I tried a few more half-hearted attempts to order a Veggie Delite but eventually just gave up and got the daily special (turned out to be meatball sub day.)

Why couldn't she have just given me the sandwich without comment? Yes, I know I'm overreacting. In fact, a normal person would probably be pleased to be remembered.

But still. I didn't want a meatball sub. I wanted the Veggie Delight! When I get a salad I don't do it to fill me up or because of the particular salad toppings. I get it because I like the flavor.

And to top it all off, she just assumed that I wanted a footlong, too. I made sure to correct that little trifle before they tacked on another two and a half dollars....

I'm going vegetarian. I've considered it for the longest time, and you know I think it would just be easier to just go vegetarian for a while, on a trial basis. Not because I think it's healthier, or because I think it's unfair to eat animals....because I like the taste of vegetables.

Although maybe I should wait until after Christmas. People tend to go crazy about killing large birds to eat this time of year.