h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ermmm....God....sir....what exactly would be entailed in this whole 'prophet' bit??

D'you think I could give it a go? I can be incredibly silly...

Well, I could definitely let you apply for the position! It seems that we've had quite a bit of interest in the position all of a sudden, and I'll have to consider every applicant under careful scrutiny. So, what are your qualifications?

I don't know about that guy, but I can hold my own in the silly prophet field. I have predicted several events successfully: Rain in England, today is someone's birthday, and the homosexuality of Ricky Martin. Hold on! Before I regale you with any more of my dazzling prophecies, I have some questions for you, like any good disciple. Now.. are you now or at any time ever been Alanis Morissette? If you really are God, why are you a researcher on earth? Shouldn't you already know everything? Is sex really a joke in heaven? Finally, what is the official name of your religion?

Well the name is a bit of a secret, you know. And as to your qualifications, what sort of silly prophecies have you orated? All those given are much too serious for a silly prophet.