Journal Entries
On becoming four-eyed
Posted Oct 12, 2007
I have just been through one of those transitions in life that come to us all in the end. For some time now, I had been reading small print by holding it at arm's length and squinting. But there comes a time when that technique isn't enough any more; when, as the optician I went to see this week put it, you simply run out of arm.
And so I have become the owner of two pairs of reading glasses. They're rectangular with neat thin frames, and so make me look very much like this 
except that I still have all my hair and I'm not yellow. I'm very pleased with them; I can now take a 
to bed at the end of a long day and actually read it easily. Most of the time I don't need my specs, and when I do wear them I think they make me look quite mature and learned.
I realise, however, that many of my h2g2 friends are far more experienced glasses-wearers than I am. So can you give me any tips on specs maintenance?
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Latest reply: Oct 12, 2007
My life as a mad hatter
Posted Aug 12, 2007
It’s nice to do something different at the weekend, don’t you think? Some friends and I certainly managed that a couple of weeks ago.
First, we dressed up in head-to-foot white boiler suits and bright blue bowler hats. Then we went out to a variety of locations around the centre of Bradford: the city hall steps, a shop, a 
shop, the Central Library and the city square among them. We stood still and silent, stoically ignoring the inevitable comments and enquiries about what we were doing. From time to time we'd gather around some innocent passer-by one by one, smiling sweetly, until they started to react. Then we'd disappear just after handing them a card with a picture of a blue bowler on one side and the words 'We think you're lovely' on the other, which usually seemed to be well received!
The most uncomfortable moment came when we got noisy attention from some serious, cider-bottle-clutching drunks, but we managed to stay in character and didn't get attacked. In fairness, one of the drunks came up with the most perceptive comment we got all day: ‘I think it’s meant to mess with your consciousness.’ In some other places, like the coffee shop and the book shop, we hardly seemed to be noticed; people didn't bat an eyelid at the gang of oddly-attired folk suddenly appearing in their midst. In different contexts, the comments were different. Near the police station, someone said ‘The forensic squad are out’. In a lift in the library, a little boy, looking anxiously at two of us, asked ‘Are you clowns? I didn’t have the heart to stay silent and probably scare him, so I replied ‘Something like that’. 
You won’t be surprised to hear that this was all part of my occasional acting career; a performance art piece, called ‘The Bowlers’, done as part of an arts festival called Stir that took place in Bradford a couple of weekends ago. I really enjoyed the festival. Another highlight was a brilliant theatre piece called ‘They Only Come At Night’ – a drama about grisly murders committed by vampires, performed with the aid of live actors and dancers, projections and pre-recorded commentary, and staged on the top floor of a multi-storey car park! I went to that as a customer and jumped out of my skin a couple of times as the 'vampire' dancers swooped up behind me. 
There is now talk of doing a second round of ‘The Bowlers’ up at Bradford University when the new academic year begins, and I may well do it again. At the same time, though, my beloved Uni theatre group is doing a production of ‘Alice In Wonderland’ – so perhaps I’ll have two more opportunities to become a mad hatter! 
By the way, very fetching photos of me and a couple of friends in our bowlers are available, and can be e-mailed on request! 
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Latest reply: Aug 12, 2007
Hugging a building
Posted Jul 15, 2007
In the centre of Bradford there is a lovely old 1930s Art Deco building. It's a former cinema that I visited many times in my youth, but which has been closed for seven years; but it is still known locally as the Odeon. Featuring two turrets topped with domes, it is one of the few really distinctive and historic buildings left in Bradford city centre. Sadly, the local authorities don't see it that way. They want to demolish it to make way for offices and apartments, despite the fact that there are already plenty of empty offices and dwellings in the city.
Plenty of local people are upset about that. And one of them came up with a novel idea: to show how many people cared about the Odeon, we'd all get together at the same time and hug the building.
The righteousness of the cause and the eccentricity of the protest obviously had a wide appeal, because the turnout far exceeded the organisers' expectations. Yesterday lunchtime, I, some friends and several hundred others converged on the Odeon, listened to some short speeches, and then spread ourselves out around the building and the car park behind it. We linked hands and formed a human chain right around the block, then sent a joyous Mexican wave around the building as photographers snapped away, TV crews filmed, and lots of passing motorists tooted their car horns in support. We got generous coverage on the early-evening regional BBC TV news, and the story has made it online: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/bradford/6899061.stm . I'm really looking forward to tomorrow's local newspapers - so many photos were taken by the Bradford Telegraph & Argus's snapper that I must have a good chance of seeing myself in there!
But more importantly, I think that such a well-attended and good-humoured demonstration can only reflect well on the cause. With so much popular support, it's going to be hard for those in power to ignore the campaign. Here's hoping!
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Latest reply: Jul 15, 2007
Ormondroyd B.A. (Hons.)
Posted Jul 8, 2007
At the age of 47, I have finally officially become a clever person with letters after my name. My University results are in, and I've succeeded in style - I've got a First Class Bachelor of Arts Honours Degree in Combined Studies! 
This follows four years in which I've studied social sciences, English literature, cinema, psychology, politics, creative writing and critical thinking, as well as doing personal development courses in assertiveness and stress management. It's been a fascinating journey, and although I'm obviously delighted at the successful conclusion, in some ways I'm sorry it's over. I may very well do some more studying sooner or later; I'm going to be looking into postgraduate study possibilities over the next couple of weeks. I'm also looking at job opportunities, and I think I'd like to work in a University. There's something about academia that suits me very well; I like intelligent, articulate company, and I like being in an culture in which eccentricity is not just accepted but positively welcomed. At University, no-one sees anything wrong with being a middle-aged sci-fi fan. When I was handing in my dissertation, I was asked if I'd mind having my photo taken for next year's prospectus. I happily agreed, and was very pleased that I happened to be wearing my Doctor Who T-shirt that day - I made sure that the 
design was clearly visible in the photo!
There's been a sort of personal redemption in all of this. I wasn't much of a student in my younger days; when I went to college as a teenager I was far more interested in 
and punk rock than in studying, and failed my course. I was grimly determined to do it right this time. I found it hard at first; the academic style of writing was so different to what I was used to. I had a kind of mini-nervous breakdown over my first University essay, dashed it off in the last available 48 hours, and apologised for how poor I thought it was when I handed it in. But to my pleasant surprise, I got 64 per cent for it. My confidence steadily grew, and my marks got better. I've finished on a real high; I got 84 per cent for my dissertation about the film 'Super Size Me' 
and my best mark ever for the last assignment I did - 85 per cent for an English Literature essay about Virginia Woolf's 'Mrs. Dalloway' and Katharine Mansfield's 'The Garden Party'.
So now I have to consider carefully what to do next; but on Thursday July 19 I get to dress up in a mortar board and gown and be officially pronounced clever. The University are laying on a 
and reception. I intend to enjoy it thoroughly.
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Latest reply: Jul 8, 2007
The British weather makes me sick (literally)
Posted Jun 23, 2007
The other day I woke up feeling quite scarily ill. I suffer from mild asthma, but normally this amounts to nothing worse than an occasional mild wheeziness that can instantly be fixed with a quick squirt on my Ventolin inhaler. On Thursday morning, however, I woke really struggling and labouring for breath. I quickly got myself to the doctors, where an examination confirmed that overnight I'd gone down to one-third of my normal lung capacity. Fortunately, my condition was easily treatable with steroid pills, which seem to have fixed things very quickly. I now feel, if anything, a little better than normal, since the pills have the pleasant side effect of making me feel slightly speedy and giddy. 
But here's what seems to me to be startling bit: the 
blamed my condition on the weather. I am affected by hay fever, and there was an exceptionally high pollen count. In addition to that, though, there were highly unusual atmospheric conditions around in West Yorkshire, and these had affected my breathing. This I could well believe: we'd had very heavy humidity and the most spectacular electrical storms I've ever seen during the week.
So can I blame this on climate change? Is it likely to happen again? And were any other Researchers similarly affected?
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Latest reply: Jun 23, 2007
Ormondroyd
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