Journal Entries
Portrait of the artist as an old cat
Posted Nov 10, 2005
Over the past week, I've been happily soaking up the reactions to 'Catscratch', the simplified version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's 'Cats' staged by the Bradford University Society for Operettas and Musicals (BUSOM) last Thursday. We got off to a slightly shaky start, stumbling a little over the horribly complicated opening song 'Jellicle Songs For Jellicle Cats', but after that the show really took flight. In a shocking bit of typecasting, I was given the role of Gus, The Theatre Cat - an ageing character who hangs around theatres a lot, boasts of his past triumphs on stage to his drinking buddies, and claims to have had his finest thespian moment playing a fiendish villain. All of which describes me almost as well as it does the character. 
I've had a lot of praise for my singing and my characterisation, and one comment in particular pleased me. Two other characters sing introductory verses about Gus before he appears, and one of the verses includes the line 'He suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake'. To reflect that, I kept my right hand trembling right through the song. Afterwards, one of my friends said that she'd noticed my shaking hand and thought it suited the character, but hadn't been sure if I was doing it deliberately or had just been very nervous. When you're so convincing that people aren't sure whether you're acting or not, then surely you're acting well. 
Anyway, the show as a whole was a real success. The tickets sold out, the audience were noisily enthusiastic, and some talented new recruits did well in their first performances with BUSOM. We now go on to our traditional pre-Christmas concert, this year taking place on December 8.
The dilemma I now have is whether or not to take part in BUSOM's big project for the early part of next year: a production of Noel Coward's 'Kiss Me, Kate'. I know it has some great tunes in it, notably 'Too Darn Hot', but I've done some research and some of what I've read worries me. The show's gender politics sound questionable to say the least; I have to ask myself whether I'd feel comfortable inviting female friends to a show that concludes with a number called 'I Am Ashamed That Women Are So Simple'. 
Still, I haven't actually seen 'Kate' yet, and I plan to watch it on DVD before I make up my mind.
At least I know that I make a good cat. My parents came to see 'Catscratch', and they're still calling me 'Gus'. 
Discuss this Journal entry [8]
Latest reply: Nov 10, 2005
Greetings from a gallery
Posted Oct 27, 2005
This Journal Entry comes to you from Gallery II on the University of Bradford campus: my latest place of work. As I type, I'm surrounded by some rather lovely prints of photos taken in the Scottish islands by Brian Hindmarsh, a lecturer from the nearby Bradford College: some samples may be seen here: http://www.brad.ac.uk/admin/gallery/hindmarch.php . The exhibition also includes some of Mr Hindmarsh's etchings of the same landscapes; and the University is on the top of a hill, so I can now honestly ask people to come up and see my etchings.
In many ways, my one-day-a-week job as the Thursday Invigilator here represents the ideal form of employment: I'm in a peaceful, artistic environment, and I'm being paid to do virtually nothing. I am entrusted with making sure that no-one steals the exhibits or damages the gallery. It's also my job to handle the paperwork should anyone want to buy one of the pictures, or one of the books and cards featuring the pictures from the present exhibition. But mainly I'm paid just to be here, because the University's insurance demands that the gallery must never be left unattended whilst open. I've been positively encouraged to bring in my coursework and do it here, and I will.
Once I've finished my important h2g2 work, that is. 
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Latest reply: Oct 27, 2005
How I got a job by giving up looking for one
Posted Sep 25, 2005
Two important things happened in my life last Friday. I ended my claim for unemployment benefit on the grounds that having just signed up as a full-time student, I am no longer sufficiently available for work to qualify for the benefit. And on the same day, I completed the first week of formally contracted paid employment I've done since 1988.
How so? Well, first I should explain that, although I worked full-time for 'Melody Maker' from 1988 to 1999, its publishers never saw fit to give me a proper contract. They preferred to pay me and most of their other writers on a freelance basis, so as not to have to give us any of the statutory rights of employees 
.
Happily, the University of Bradford has different ideas. The end of my welfare claim gave me the freedom to accept small doses of paid employment without getting mired in a lot of legal complications, so I signed up with a register of casual workers that the University maintains so that it can call in students to help run the place when things get busy. I almost immediately got the offer of a week of mornings helping to register my fellow students, by taking their pictures, digitally transferring their images on to student ID cards, then printing out said cards. I did that every morning from Monday to Friday last week, and it was pretty entertaining, if sometimes a shade stressful during the busiest spells.
I think I did a pretty good job - I definitely sent a lot of students away with much better photos on their new cards than they'd had on their old ones. (Though I did feel as if I was betraying P.U.D.D.I.N.G. by asking people to smile. ) And, of course, during one of the afternoons I returned as a customer and got my own ID card done.
I've earned myself a nice little cash bonus to help me through the first month of the academic year - and I've already been offered another short spell of part-time paid work at the University, acting as a data inputter for a few days towards the end of October. So, in a sense, saying that I didn't want work proved to be the most effective way of finding it... 
Discuss this Journal entry [13]
Latest reply: Sep 25, 2005
Ormy Supports American President!
Posted Sep 12, 2005
I am proud to announce that I have pledged my support for Hypatia's campaign to become Virtual President of h2g2.
Having met Hyp when she visited the UK earlier this year, I know her to be charming, concerned, erudite, but occasionally grumpy enough to deserve the P.U.D.D.I.N.G. vote. I feel sure that she'd do a fine job as President. 
Indeed, so committed am I to Hyp's campaign that I have agreed to serve as her Spinmeister. I shall endeavour to act as a sort of slimmer Karl Rove, or a less scandal-prone Peter Mandelson. 
However, in the spirit of grace and dignity for which our candidate stands, I shall not be seeking to smear our opponents. Honest. 
You may feel that Clive The Flying Ostrich tends to bury his head in the sand - I couldn't possibly comment. And the forthcoming 
'Unfit To Be Served - Pub Veterans Speak Out Against 2Legs' is utterly scurrilous and has nothing whatsoever to do with our campaign. 
The last election candidate whose campaign I actively supported is now the Member of Parliament for Leeds North West. I feel sure that Hypatia can secure similar success. Details of her Ozark Party platform may be found here: A5645531 . The list of her supporters is growing by the day, and I urge you to join us.
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Latest reply: Sep 12, 2005
The oldest fresher in town?
Posted Aug 28, 2005
This week I got the letter confirming that I have been accepted as a full-time student by the University of Bradford! 
I have agreed to be a pioneering student on the University's brand-new B.A. (Hons) Combined Studies degree course, starting in the second year (of three) because of the 160 credits I have gathered as a part-time student over the past two years.
Although it wasn't my first choice, I think this course is going to be great. One of the best things about going full-time is that I have a much bigger range of modules to choose from. My modules for the first semester of this academic year will be 'Modern Social & Cultural Trends' and 'British Cinema & National Identity'. After Christmas, I'll turn my attention to 'Literature, Drama & Audience' and 'Popular Culture' - all of which is right up my street. In that second semester, I'll also be doing something called 'Guided Independent Study' - an investigation into a topic to be agreed between myself and my tutor, and thus a kind of rehearsal for my dissertation the following year.
So the great escape from the Jobcentre mentioned in my previous Journal Entry is on! As a kind of parting gift, my old friends there have agreed to keep my benefits going up until my classes start in the last week of September, which helps a lot. Hopefully my Student Loan will arrive soon afterwards.
So nearly two years of splendid irresponsibility loom ahead! I will certainly study hard - I'm currently on course for a First, and would like to keep on that track. But I also fully intend to have some fun. 
Given that I joined the University in 2003 as a part-time student, but have now become a full-time one, I reckon this makes me a Bradford University fresher for the second time; but this time around I intend to play a full part in the festivities for Fresher's Week. I've volunteered to help out with other students' registration in return for a very modest wage, and will also be manning stalls to promote my beloved University theatre group.
I think I might go to the Freshers' Disco too. It'll be interesting to see if I'm the oldest dancer there. 
Discuss this Journal entry [26]
Latest reply: Aug 28, 2005
Ormondroyd
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