h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

... I sent off Fred's DNA to test him for his breed.

Results came back today, slightly gobsmacked to find he's 10-20% Welsh Corgi. The rest is pure JRT.

The question is now, which relative was the Corgi? Grandparent? Great-grandparent?

The question now is, does he have royal lineage? And furthermore, does he stand to inherit?

I will be writing to the Queen! No, I mean it, really. I think she used to breed them, so I'm going to ask her advice, and see if one of her dogs had a secret liaison with a busty JRT selling oranges some generations ago that might have resulted in some little bastards born on the wrong side of the blanket and if so I have one of her long-lost relatives and I'd appreciate it if I could have 'By Royal Appointment' please. As that'd do wonders for my business!

Business? Surely if the Head Corgi dies at the palace, you and Fred will never need to work again!

But I like to work.

How far back does this go? Could it be a trace from hundreds or thousnads of years ago?

I had our maternal DNA done as a present for Sunshine and Moonlight when they were 21 and 18 in the same year, and it goes back 20,000 years! We're from what is now the France/Spain border.

Most dog breeds only came into existence about 100 years ago. JRTs have been around as the JRT since one man decided he liked a little dog he met, and bred from her, that was barely 200 years ago. Similar dogs must have been around before that for him to have met one to breed from. Corgis seem to have been around for centuries.

I think your DNA for Sunshhine and Moonlight is probably twice as old as 'dogs' as we know them, judging by fossils.

I assumed that the 10-20% meant some sly scamp of a Corgi met up with a very naughty little JRT behind the bike sheds, then ran off to leave her with her babies, said sly Corgi being Fred's Great-great granddaddy. Or Great-great grandmummy.