h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

An unusual question, I realise. Let me explain.

The Bradford University Theatre Group, of which I am a keen member, is putting on a series of new writing nights. We advertised for people to send in short scripts. About 140 were received from various parts of the , and the best will be performed shortly in showcase evenings of about 10 short items.

Anyway, they've cast me in a piece called 'Table Dancing', in which I play a man cowering under a table while a ferocious woman threatens him and hurls vicious abuse at him. There is a twist at the end which I won't post here in case anyone sees this and wants to go to the shows (24th and 25th October, Theatre in the Mill, Bradford).

But for some unfathomable reason , the script made me think of you. Did you write it under a pseudonym?

ah well, glad that you were thinking of me, but no, that wasn't me. I wouldn't know how to go about writing a play! Sounds far too difficult!

good luck with the performance though. Maybe I could audition?

They've already cast someone, but I'm sure you could chase her off!

I found out tonight that I've got a part in another one of these short playlets. In that one, I play a pub regular. Talk about typecasting...

So you shouldn't have too much trouble with the props in that case.