Journal Entries
Transition
Posted Jan 26, 2000
This is a transition time for me. Somewhere between being a student, and being a professional, I drift like an electron, in clouds of potentiality.
I am engaged, but not married. I am working, but have turned in my resignation. I have an apartment, which I am moving out of. I have a destination, which I have not yet reached.
Jumping now, as I have so many, times before, without a net, I find myself unafraid. Unlike the cinema, life has a way of not resolving itself into nice patterns of closure. In life, there is no cause and effect. It's comforting in a way, because without causation, life can be lived in the now, and the then, and the maybe all at once. And that's not so scary.
You see, I'm not afraid of what will happen to me tomorrow, because I see no reason to fear what happened to me yesterday. The future changes inexorably into the past, and if the past is not to be feared, then why fear the future. That would be like not eating a hamburger because you know that it will soon be excrement.
I'm not sure why...but that's how I feel anyway.
Here's to God and his wacky creation. The paradox of order within chaos, and chaos in the midst of February 29th.
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Latest reply: Jan 26, 2000
The first day
Posted Sep 23, 1999
In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth...And things got pretty complex from that point forward.
A lot of stuff happened.
Today: Well having brought everything up to date, I feel pretty exhausted. This is my first journal entry, and I feel that a bit of pomp and circumstance is in order, but I'm rather tired after a hard day at work, so I think I'll keep it short.
Today I did a lot of work, talked with Marin Campbell, my girlfriend, sent a few e-mails to friends from college and had salad and rice for lunch.
All in all, my thought for the day is this: I never want a Nova documentary made of me. I think that it would make too simple what is really a very complex life. And that's all there is to say.
See you tomorrow.
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Sep 23, 1999
Calvin
Researcher U94504
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