h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi I have been working away subbing your entry and I would really like some feedback on what I have tinkered with - Please take a look at A5907332 and let me know what you think and anything I have got wrong or changed so that the meaning is lost etc...

I know the Itallics are wanting to get this topside as soon as possible to grace the front page so I'll hold off hitting the return button until I hear from you OR for about 5 days!

I hope you are happy with the edits - if not please let me know and I can take another look with your input!

Speller

A few things, some of them my fault rather than editing:
1st para:On the tour of their previous album, Animals, something happened and Waters had a sudden vision of a dramatic
should change to "on the tour of their tenth album, Animals..." cos people might think it was the album previous to Dark Side

The Concept:sadly the popularity of their music made open air performances unavoidable
"music made huge performances..." they didn't just hate open air

The Concept, 2nd para: Comfortably Numb should be in '' not italicised as its only a single, not album

The Concept 4th para: Don't know if Pink should be in italics, its a characters name, if it is then surely Mr Floyd should be too, as this is also the same character.

The Concept, last para:previous lead singer, Syd Barret who had
should there not be a comma after Barret to close the parenthesis?

Footnote 2 (first song): change to ..."appear at the end of the album, but are put here so that the sentence makes sense."

In The Flesh:instruments start again, building a into crescendo
"building into a crescendo"

Another Brick (Part 1):is heard whistling and calling then the sound of a large group of children playing is heard later.
"and calling, then later the sound of a large group of children playing is heard."

Happiest Days: Another Brick should not be italicised, is only a song (at least I'm sure I've read that but you're the sub you know more about house rules than me, if I'm wrong apologies)

Another Brick (Part 2):Gilmour and Waters immediate combined vocals in the first verse
"Gilmour and Waters immediately sing with combined vocals for the first verse"

Another Brick (Part 2) Footnote: Comfortably Numb in italics, and in the second para with the title of the song

Mother:After the breath an acoustic guitar kicks in with a relaxed rhythm and Roger Waters soothing voice.
"Roger Waters' soothing voice"

Blue Sky: The sound of trains and a woman on the tannoy replaces it as the music moves into the next track.
This doesn't make sense of Blue Sky is on side A of the vinyl, I put it on side B because of this fact but others cite it as being on Side B implying that it was remixed for CD; the vinyl is how it was originally sold and thus is how it is described here so I guess take it off.

Have to go, lecture, be back to read the rest soon.

By the by, doing some quick addition Side A comes to 20 minutes without Blue Sky, Side B comes to 16 minutes without Blue Sky; bearing in mind one disc side can only hold about 22 minutes it is more likely Blue Sky is on Side B but I cannot verify this; I still think you should put it on Side B (and not change the bit about it moving into the next track) and if someone who has the vinyl knows different they can tell the Eds. Hope its not too much of a pain.

Young Lust 2nd para: Songs in italics again, I'm still not sure. The last song mentioned should be What Shall We Do Now?

One Of My Turns 1st para:This sees Waters yelling in fury and the drums and guitars kick in finally reaching a climax as a bridge and then relaxing for the final verse. Both instruments and vocals trail off towards the end, a hopeless signing note kept until the next song.

"...reaching a climax during the bridge and then"
"...hopeless singing note is kept"

Hey You 2nd para:The songs bridge makes
"The song's bridge"

Is There Anybody Out There? 1st para:noise made my the synthesizer.
"...made by the..."

Comfortably Numb: Though the entirely falsetto song is very different from the original and has irked some Floyd fans. Both Gilmour and Mason have expressed liking for the band, while Waters sent a letter of congratulations and approval of the cover.

That is all one sentence, the full stop should be changed to a comma or semi-colon.

In The Flesh 2nd para: 'Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?...That one looks Jewish etc.
I don't think you should have shortened the quote as all of the abuse is relevant, it points out the fascist nature of it, but if you insist then remember to close the quotation marks after Jewish.

the hateful School Master despotically picking on the minorities. Mother instilling fear and paranoia and against the anarchic Another Brick In the Wall (Part II), trying to order his fans into the military and weeding out the weaklings.

"..fear and paranoia; as well as being against the anarchic.." (again the issue of italics with Another Brick)

The 8th Footnote (The Tour header) "regard as Floyd's worst"

"as Is There Anybody Out There?." do you need the fullstop after the questionmark?

2nd para: the only additions being an introduction
"being a spoken introduction"

That's all folks; hope its not too much hassle to change it all but thanks for consulting me and editing my entry, which I'm sure will be a rather popular one considering Floyd's fan base.