h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Night, Gosho, thanks for your company! I can't believe someone in Austin is going to bed before me

0545: Realise I've got a busy couple of hours ahead of me. When the newspapers arrive, I have to take them around the rooms and leave them outside. I also have to open the building up and bring down all the suitcases for three coaches, so it could get quite hectic. I can imagine this is not a good time to be a night porter; you're feeling pretty tired, and then just when you want to go and lie in bed for a few hours you've got the busiest part of the shift to come. I'm not sure I'm too keen about the hours up ahead.

!:48pm JT, Yep but I watched this thread start up, just doing odd jobs around the house so didn't really have the chance to sit and post , thought about it a couple of times .

That's a bit mad, thinking about it. You're halfway through today, but I've still got a couple of hours of yesterday to go before I can think about getting some sleep and starting today. Actually, it's probably not that mad - it's probably just that my brain is a little bit

0600: I can hear a guest moving about! Humans!

(Why are they up so early? There's bugger all to do. There's no newspapers and breakfast isn't for a good two hours.)

You have humans at your hotel????

Well, they're more like zombies at times, but yes

0610: I'm feeling really, really wired now. The coffee has worn off and I don't want to drink any more, because the last thing I need is to go to bed and find I can't get to sleep. I'm back in work in eight hours One of the chefs came in very early and we had a brief chat; the 'normal' person (and I use that very loosely when talking about chefs) is clearly getting underway.

0615: Put the kettle on. My brother kindly offered to come and give me a hand with the cases, and until half an hour ago I reckoned I'd be ok on my own. Now I think for the price of a cup of tea, I'll take his help.

I've had a Saw Doctors song in my head all night:

'I'll say goodnight,
I'll see you in the morning
I'll say goodnight,
I'll see you when I wake...'

Something has replaced it in the last hour or so, and I've just worked out what it is. It's Marc Almond and Gene Pitney's 'Something's Gotten hold Of My Heart'

And BAAAAAAAAAABYY, yeah...

0620: The guest I heard a while ago has appeared at last, out for his early morning fag. Took him a long time to get here...

This is the funniest thread i've read in ages!

Btw, I would have been the first poster, but it's taken me half and hour to read the backlog.

Same here - and anyway, first to post from the UK was either 2legs or MMF, so I guess Rich has lost all his bets by now.

Off to work now.

But they haven't posted yet have they? this morning that is ,

I like the thread but I'm bias

No, I meant the first next one, if that makes any sense at all. It would've been pointless me betting with myself when the results were further up the thread, wouldn't it?

As it is, Venus is the first next UK-based Researcher to post, and I've therefore won a tidy sum of money from myself

0640: It's like Piccadilly Circus here! Another guest has appeared. I think he wants a newspaper, but I can't understand a word he's saying. I don't have any papers yet, anyway...

0643: He just came up and rambled on at me for a bit. The only word I could make out was 'Ryanair'. I'm baffled.

>As it is, Venus is the first next UK-based Researcher to post, and I've therefore won a tidy sum of money from myself <
I don't want no bouncing cheques, cash will do fine

Still hanging in there, big lad? Glad to hear all the hips are ok!

Although maybe we're not out of the woods yet on that score:

"(Why are they up so early? There's bugger all to do. There's no newspapers and breakfast isn't for a good two hours.)"

Cash tends to disappear in the post

0740: My brother didn't wake up, so that was a waste of a cup of tea. I've done about 80 cases on my own, and still the natives are restless. One guy got narcy with me because 'they' had taken one of his cases and not the other. I politely told him that 'they' was me, and that I had 94 bedrooms to get around and it would probably take me a while. He mumbled his way back to his room, cursing slightly too loudly, so I left his case until last.

Twenty minutes til bedtime. See you all later...

Oh no! Thanks, KB - I'll taking that thought to bed

In that case...Sweet dreams!

I'm disappointed that I slept in this morning and didn't manage to post earlier.

A fantastic description of a night shift there, Rich. I like the cut of your jib when you talk about