Journal Entries
Rainbow
Posted Feb 15, 2005
I didn't know they made an episode like this
The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana
Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four"
George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"
Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"
We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.
Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"
Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"
Bungle: "I know, lets try it round the other way. Ooooooh, I've got it
in"
Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and
peg
kit.
Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"
George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself.
Geoffrey: (to camera) "Hello everyone, today we are talking about
playing"
Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"
Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to
play
with?"
George: "Yesterday we played with each other's balls. Are we going to
play
with our friend's balls today?
Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."
Geoffrey (to camera) Have you seen Bungles twanger?
Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."
Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument."
Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle
Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."
George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"
Zippy: "Well of course it is, your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."
Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."
Bungle: (excited) "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers
couldn't we? Let's play the plucking song. Rod and Freddy can get their
instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."
Singers Rod, Freddy and Jane enter.
Freddy: "We could hear you all banging away"
Rod: "Banging can be fun."
Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and
Freddy."
Freddy: (looking sad) "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."
Rod: (to Jane) "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"
Jane: "Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But would you
like
to play with my maracas?
Zippy; "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."
George: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size our twanger is."
Zippy: "I've got a big red one."
George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to
play
with it."
Geoffrey: (to viewers) "Well, have you got your twangers out? And
remember,
you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any, ask a
friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all play the plucking song."
Everyone in studio: "Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we're going to pluck all
day."
Apparently the scriptwriter and the director got the sack, but not until
after the show had been broadcast and several complaints from parents
had
been received!
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Feb 15, 2005
Maharishi Fattifatbastard’s Guide to Zen
Posted Jan 12, 2005
§ The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
§ The darkest hours come just before the dawn.
So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.
§ Sex is like air.
It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.
§ Don't aspire to become irreplaceable.
If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
§ Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.
§ Never forget that like everyone else, you are unique.
§ Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
§ If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
§ Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
§ If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
§ Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
§ Have you ever lent someone £20 and never seen that person again?
It was probably worth it.
§ If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
§ Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.
§ Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
§ Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
§ The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
§ A closed mouth gathers no feet.
§ There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman.
Neither one works.
§ Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
§ Never miss a good chance to shut up.
§ Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
§ When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse.
From there on in, life gets worse
§ The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.
I stole this
Discuss this Journal entry [55]
Latest reply: Jan 12, 2005
Christmas
Posted Dec 26, 2004
Merry Christmas Ho Ho Ho sorry It's a bit late but uncle Charley has been down and I haven't had time to go on the internet and I can't be arsed to post you all
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 26, 2004
Did you know?
Posted Dec 15, 2004
Shrek before making his film he applied for a part as a Telly Tubby and got the job. Unfortunately he didn't like Tubby Toast and broke Noonoo on the first day so they sacked him. Then he moved to America and got the lead roll in his film after sleeping with Buzz Lightyear.
Discuss this Journal entry [51]
Latest reply: Dec 15, 2004
Stupid
Posted Dec 7, 2004
Now call me stupid. i'm eating a packet of snack a jacks and they are suitable for coeliacs.
my question is whats a coeliac.
just wondering
Discuss this Journal entry [3]
Latest reply: Dec 7, 2004
FUJIMAR
Researcher U847415
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