h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello I'm sinking, can't stand the thought of loosing anymore cyber chums, it's the only think keeping me afloat.

I see you've found Ani too. Have you found Dai?

Anyway could I have a special with extra chillies and sauce, hold the salad. I've seen it. Ian

Hi Ian. Ani here. Dai is sulking. There are two things which experience has taught me will rouse him out of his melancholy.

1) a really provocative question about classical history;
2) a really provocative question about Mornington Crescent.

Of course a really provocative question about both classical history and about Mornington Crescent is a good gamble. It has never been tried before, but well worth the effort.

I believe a competition should be proposed on the CMB. But replies can only be posted to the h2g2.

We will need a really good first prize. Anything in mind? Perhaps an all expenses paid tour of Mornington Crescent. (I hope the winner is strong enough to go there.) Or perhaps the prize could be the return of Dai to the Beeb.

I wouldnt be drawn in by Hygiene's Dance of the Seven Veils. The only way the Lads at the Institute have tolerated Hygiene's twitches is by being too blotto to notice. Poor Idris has mistaken the Dance with a rugby scrum. And the cruel Lads have not disapprised him of the notion (not knowing the difference in the first place).

PS: I also think a thread should be started protesting the Mod's heavyhandedness about Dai's use of Greek and that this thread should then be forwarded to the Mod in question and to whoever heads up the Beeb boards.

Hope to hear from you soon. ani.

Hi Ani, a couple of nice things about being here are

1) its not moderated in the same draconian way

2) its open 24 hours a day, so it'll be great for you.

You can talk about anything you like too.

If you find Ianheavy, you'll find my original account which will tell you something about me.

I made some friends form another board who dragged me over, still correspond via email with them. Can't seem to get my original log in working though. It must be the site, I couldn't possibly have forgotten my password.

The one thing I find difficult with cyber friends, when you haven't seen a chum for a while, you can ring or call round, when they don't come to a board you can't.

I quite missed you for a while, had you been on holiday? Popped up to service the Mars Rover?

I've just been out in our walled garden barbecueing for the family, only, cooked for twenty four last night. A man's work is never done. Should have called Delwyn, he does outside catering these days.

Would you believe I use to go to Mornington Crescent quite regularly, I worked for a Telly company and one of the studios was there.

It would be quite difficult to think anything interetsing to ask about the place, coz it ain't that interesting.

My daughter is off for a couple of weeks tommorrow on holiday on the south coast, before she goes off to university forher second first year, she's changed course. She's just got back form a couple of weeks in the Lake District supervising a camp for under priveleged kids. Turned out that a lot of them were reasonably priveleged. Still she quite enjoyed it. I love the Lakes when I left schools I was sponsored by The Ford Motor company and spent the summer up there climbing mountains and learning to rescue people. Jolly nice.

Waiting for Duncan my son's A level results, he's been accepted at Cambridge as long as he gets three A's so we're hoping. It's only a twenty minute drive. Mind you there could be benefits if he goes to his second choice St Andrews, it's about seven hours away, so he won't be able to pop home and eat our grub and get his mum to do the washing.

I'll be on my own this week-end, my wife Heather is on a jolly paid for by one of our suppliers. She'll be at Newcastles Football gorund on Sunday having a Champagne reception and then watching the match.

I'll be planning a few little entertainments for myself. I might see if there is some motor racing on somewhere. I haven't had a holiday yet this year, but I do plan little leisure trips.

I worship at a Baptist church which is about eight yards form the house, built at the same time by the same builders, with the same materials, so I feel quite at home there. In fact before they extended the chruch they used our house on sundays for some of the Sunday school. So you can see I dont have much of an excuse for not turning up.

I beacme a Christian about twelve years ago. Funnily enough on a holiday with the church.

I hope you'll have the time and inclination to tell me abit about yourself, now we've reached freedom.

I do hope we find Dai too, I'm always happy to find anyone who can put up with me, even if it's in cyberspace.

I think it is a bit silly frustrating the man for examining the original langauge text on the board, it does seem very variable how the modding is done. I sent a post to Dai with two Welsh word and it was eradicayted within seconds, and yet his cheerio thread has quite a bit of Welsh in it. The Beeb even promote the Welsh langauge elsewhere on the site. I calmed myself down with a few mins bashing out a bit of nonsense.

The forst tiem I visited the board it was dominated by posts from Stephen, who in thoses days didn't put on his posts that he was a follower of Moon. My first post was to him asking if he had discussed the ideas he was posting with his priest, vicar or pastor. I must admit I have learnt quite a lot, and had some of my views on things challenged. I suppose we don't always realise we carry some baggage around.

Regards

Ian

Hey Ian. We've arrived! Listen, I looked up two of the obtuse references made by Tim to Dai: Ship of Fools and The Working Man's Institute. The Ship of Fools is an actual website. It looks quite jolly (I speak Brit). I havent had a chance to explore it yet. I havent explored h2g2 either, but definitely look forward to contributing to the Guide. I registered on the S of F under ani ibiishikaa but have to wait until I am approved. As for the Working Man's (Men's) Institute: hmmmm. I am sure something is out there. Maybe under Mornington Crescent or Tudor Rules.

A bit disconcerting though that we havent heard from Sally, Tim, or Dai. Dai must be as stubborn as I am. My prolongued absence was a direct result of being thoroughly ticked off with the prolongued spate of bigotry, bashing, spamming, and strawmen threads. There was some prolongued drama around Doubting Thomas having a row with Hugh all of which I put down to attention-seeking. I was thoroughly enraged after doing a lot of research on baptism and the unborn and then being engaged by someone who not only did not read my posts but did not read my references; yet insisted on restating and restating her case. I wanted to learn and to be in fruitful discussions instead of endlessly defending my faith from nonsensical accusations.

This summer I went up to Haliburton and took a timberframing course and a painting course.

I know; losing a cyberfriend is very painful. I guess this is a lesson for me not to be so sulky myself. let's hope we can entice Dai and the lads to relocate to a more benign spot. When Dai and Tim get going on some serious scholarship it is well worthwhile being online.

As for the reasonably privileged camp kids: they have their own set of problems. Good to hear that your children are doing well. I have one handsome son who is about to pop the question to a lovely girl. They both do brazilian jiu jitsu and work in the DR. We are Catholic. Very busy these days watching the Olympics. ani.

Hi Heavy. Mornington Crescent, it turns out, has its own website. I haven't figured out how to begin playing the game yet. But I will. ani.

Hi Ani, Morningtyon Crescent was made famous by the Beeb prog "I'm sorry I haven't a clue", so it's quite likley that there is a site. The institute I believe only exists in the minds of a few posters, so its more spacious depending on who you talk to. I'm afraid it quite cramped in my version.

Wow, you have to get accepted for SOF, don't see how I'm going to make it then.

Timber framing, jeepers you're a bit of a girl aren't you! If I had a hammer, I'd hammer in the morning, I'd hammer in the evening all over this frame........... etc. etc.

Is this to build your own personal space or a career move?

I'm off on my usual Weds night bash, brewing and drinking beer. The Ancient Brewer will be picking me up shortly, and we will be venturing forth to Slynn the Slayers. So it will be a basic night tonight, Slynn is a no frills man. Although he is a cheese gourmand. We do get regular bouts of culture though, as we've got some pretty talented musicians in the Beer Support Group. An opera singer, and would you believe I'm the secretary, and try to keep them under control and have a meet organised each week. I do enjoy the company of talented folk. I tell the jokes and write most of the bad poetry.

Oh we have cake each week too, we are on a long term research project to find a cake that goes with bitter beer. We've eaten hundreds of cakes, and drunk thousands of pints, not yet found the right combination so the resaerch is ongoing. Good job there are a number of ladies who bake for us. Slynn bakes sometimes too.

So can't stop long tonight now.

Ian

I've listened to Sorry I Havent a Clue. I dont have hi speed tho, so sometimes it streams badly. Ive just finished watching Monty Pythons The Meaning of Life. Funny enuf.

I used to believe that the Institute existed only in the mind of Tim and Dai. Along with Idris, Hygiene, Delwyn. But lately I have not been so sure. I think people tend to draw from life. Don Cherry, for instance: obviously not an opera singer and obviously not an Eminence. In fact, an extremely colourful, often seriously ticked off about something hockey commentator who wears LOUD plaid jackets and LOUD decorated ties. I am, however, totally fictitious.

Should I be worried about being accepted by SOF? I didnt even try. I left out most of what they asked for. Dont see that it is any of their business really.

Timberframing: I designed a house which I would really like to build. The timberframing market is mainly high-end, multi-gabled mansions. Mine is a barn.

Brewing beer? Where do you keep the kegs? How do you brew beer? Cakes? Cakes seem like an odd thing to eat with beer. Toasted jalapeno bagels maybe with brie. Turnip latkes. Oh gosh, I just remembered the Newfoundland cod cakes my friend had last month. Crepes stuffed with asparagus and cheese. Black olive bread with feta cheese, tomato, oregano, and onion. But the best thing to eat with beer is pizza. There is one called Margharita which is simple tomato sauce, mozarella and various green spices.

Hope you have a good beer night. ani.

Hi Ani, had an excellent night.

We racked off two experimental beers. Both lagers, one flavoured with morrelo cherry, one with ginger.

Racking off is the process of siphoning the beer from the fermentation vessel, to another vessel to remove the dead and excess of yeast and other particles that would make the beer cloudy. Then as these were lagers we bottled it rather then putting it in barrels. Our barrels only go to about eight psi. which is not enough to get the natural fizz in. Bottling allows for the waste product of the secondary fermentation (co2)to disolve into the beer, and give a lovely fine mousse, not like the big bubbles of gassed up keg beers, more like Champagne.

We had as I expected a fantastic selection of cheese, and a very good variety of beer to drink, including a locally brewed "Edwin Taylor" Stout which is quite superb. Dai would be pleased to know the best cheese last night was a Yfenni, Welsh hard cheese with mustard seeds.

We had a banana cake, it didn't go with beer so more research required.

We rounded off the evening with a generous measure of Laphroig, an Islay malt. Mugs the tongue with its youthful peaty flavour and pungent nose, but has a suprisingly sweet finish.

Pick up Dunk's a level results today. Lets hope he gets what he needs, he knows he fluffed a couple of questions on one maths paper, so it means he has to do really well on all the others.

Then on to one of our clients whose offices are in a castle, quite entertaining.

Of course, you'll be packing in the ZZZZZZs while I write, so see you later.

It'd be nice now we've been tempted over here, if the others might make an appearance. Come on Sally, Tim and Dai, wake up the water is lovely.

Ian

Hi Heav. Re <> I wonder if they dont like me anymore? It's quite possible. Do you feel like dropping in on Tim's thread on the problem of evil and giving him a covert invite?

I dropped in there today. Christopher attempted to 'summarize' the points of view of various posters, unfortunately including my own. John Potts responded that he wasnt going to vote about something he didnt believe in and anyway he never read ani's posts! Then someone else mentioned that that was a good idea to which I replied 'take notes!'

Those sorts of things dont bother me. There are several posters on the cmb who need to be taken down a peg or two. A few of them started mocking theism, Christianity, Catholicism. The usual strawman arguments, illogic, flippant frontal attacks. Well, first Pondero went after them, suggesting firmly that they frequent another board. Then I went after them. The gloves are off. I told them that.

I mean it's RIDICULOUS that some posters get away with such bald bigotry and then someone with decent scholarship (and kebabs) like Dai get pulled.

Thank you for the beer lesson. It is very interesting. Why DO you eat cake with beer? Why not something more salty or bitter? Ever thought of dropping into the local bakery and pick up some unrisen dough? That way you can make your own pizza. Or, if you insist on making cake, then why not a cheesecake with savoury ingredients. That Welsh cheese sounds absolutely delicious. I will see if they have some at the market tomorrow.

I can figure out what a pungent nose is, but not a peaty flavour. Well let me know how your foray into the problem of evil goes. ani.

Hi Guys,

I'm glad you've found me. I hadn't been back to check for a couple of days. Not ignoring you, Ani, honest (Wouldn't dare !) just busy doing exciting stuff like gardening in the rain, hoping it doesn't flood, wondering if the previous owners realised that their flower bed was actually a patio.

I will get Tim to set up a username tonight. You could maybe drop a hint on the CMB (You know, something subtle like - get signed up or else)

Tim's started a batch of beer in the kitchen, but it doesn't seem to be working too well. Any advice, Ian? I couldn't quite work out - at what stage in the process do you add the cake? Just after the malting, to give the yeast plenty of time, or nearer the end of fermentation to add more flavour? And don't the crumbs get in the way when you're racking off?

See you later

Sally

Sally and Heav: It did not occur to me that cake was an ingredient. I had pictured the lads DUNKING their cake in their beer, though it brings tears to my eyes even considering such a thing. ani.

Hi Sally, good to hear from you. A fan heater can sort out a brew that's not goin to well. Or do another starter culture of yeast.

Ian

Yo Sal, Heav, and the Hipster.

Have any of you ever tried making barm instead of using yeast? I made my own several years ago but I used it for baking bread; not brewing beer, ale, and so on. From what dide theye fermaunt the brewes of aulde in yon lande wherein thou and thine abidest? ani, as usual.

Hi Ian,

Well, it is a bit cool, but not excessively. It took a couple of goes to get the thing started - 2 lots of yeast. However in six days it has gone from 1042 to 1008. That includes me stuffing in about 3lbs of sugar a day or so ago.

It is just that the thing is resolutely not top-fermenting. It's not as if I have used lager yeast.

There was a problem with the wort, in that I didn't get the mashing bin set properly and it went over-temperature, so there is still startch in there. I dumped in some amylase to help cleaer that, but we will have to see how it goes. Smells OK, tastes OK, if a little thin. Still, first attempt in 12 years bound to be a bit rusty .

Anyway, do you know of a good place to get grains and hops. The local shop is a bit crap - no chocolate malt, how the hell am I going to do dark mild & stout!!

God Bless

Tim

Add some moscavado sugar as a cheat or some mollases, give a lovely stouty finish. We leave our beer to clear for about six to seven weeks. If you overheated the mash, you'll almost certainly have some cloudiness. We at the BSG believe real men don't mind a bit of cloudiness if it tastes alright.

One local brewer (commercial) uses gray browning in one of their brews, sounds revolting, but the beer tastes good.

I used to be a purist, when it came to drinking, but now I'm brewing I often just brew a kit, we get good tasting beer.

We've mad an entire brewery kit for domestic use including a very effective malt mill.

It's Peterborough beer fest this week, can you get there?

By the way we use an airlock on a fermentation bins, so we don't mess around taking readings. If it's bubbling, it's working. Leave it shut till you rack orf! We taste the green beer after a week and go on our palate whether its ready to be bottled or barreled. Indeed if we are barreling we normally go ahead even if it not fully fermented out. The barrels have safety pressure valves.

Ian

Ian

Hi Ian,

Well the thing is still bubbling away - I'm just using a covered bin, like I always did. It should be through fermenting in a few days, the old hydrometer is still dropping. I wonder about the cloudiness - the top seems to drop fairly clear. Still, I've drunk belgian beer so I'm used to cloudiness.

Dark sugar, yes for stouts, don't think it would do for this, which seems to have developed into a dark pale. But I do like that burnt taste you get from chocolate malt. In fact the only thing I have used dark sugar for in the past is Port.

Don't think I can make Peterborough - the pressures of Mammon. I guess then you are not a million miles away from there.

God bless

TTFEH

Hi Tim, port? do tell.

I've about 5 kilos of choclate malt in the garage, if you make it too Peterborough I'll bring some up for you.

Heather is back tomorrow, so I'm tidying up before I go and get an internal lubrication service done.

Ian

Hi Ian,

Sorry, cannot make Peterborough - I've got a project that is runnig 12 months late and we are about to finish.....

However, there is Burton Beer Festival towards the end of September (25-27 Sept) if you are interested - we can always make digs (Mrs Heavy also invited [plus any heavy juniors can be accommodated] - I'm sure we can run to a small bottle of sweet sherry for the ladies)available.

Port is dead simple - decent full bodied red ready for bottling (racked to clear), I prefer it with not so much tannin in it. Add in 1/2 bottle of cheap brandy per gallon (you are supposed to use Pearson's Square to get the right ABV, but I can't be arsed) and use Muscavado sugar or soft brown sugar to taste. Bottle and leave for a few months or so.

I was going to do the wheat wine today, after God-bothering we were given a bag of plums with the possibility of more to come, plus a big bag of greengages and a big bag of windfall apples - I spent the afternoon reducing the greengages to liquid prior to doing a nice dry greengage wine. Alos I've got apple wine in the pipline (possibly a rose)

God bless.

TTFEH

Hi Sally, Hip, Heavy. I have just discovered something about this board. If I post a message to any of you, all of you can access it immediately. So, we have to exercise some caution about our friend list, particularly if we continue to post on the CTMB (as CTMB and h2g2 are both Beeb). ani.

Hey Ani,

I think anyone daft enough to try can read all these messages

I'll let you have an email address for the secret communiques if you like. (I'd suggest code, but I'd never understand it if we did that )

Sally