h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello,

My name is Dave, more commonly known around here as poet_perhaps. I have only really been trying to write poetry for about the last year, and joined the site earlier this month. Since then I have been inspired by all that I have read to have a go at writing prose. So far I have only written one story, "Sweet Revenge?" in the short fiction category. As I have absolutely no idea what (if anything) I am doing right, and what I am doing wrong, I would be very grateful if you could review this piece please.

Many thanks

Dave

Yes, of course Dave.

You don't mind honest brutality then?

RK

I positively welcome it. I am one of those unfortunate people who can't bear to do things badly. If I can't do them well, then I prefer to leave them to those who can. I am enjoying writing so much at the moment that I want very much to improve, so anything less is a waste of time.

Thanks

Dave.

P.S.

I don't have internet access at the weekends, so any silence on my part at those times is not me avoiding the truth - however painful it may be.

Okay Dave. It will probably be sometime over the weekend now.

I'll add the review under your work.

As my review is so long, I've created a work for it rather than post it here. You can find it by clicking on this link:

A3689986

RK