Journal Entries
Death of a Consultant
Posted Sep 25, 2007
I have serious stress issues, have done for months.
Management knows about this. My doctor knows about this. I am on medication for severe stress disorder.
So will someone please tell me how it has come about that I am, on the eve of what was to be a lovely extended holiday (whole ten consecutive days, wow, when I haven't had a day's holiday since February,)now preparing to come in on my booked holidays to try to work out an issue which, although it only came up on Thursday last, should apparently have "been nailed months ago" (thanks MD, you're really making me feel valued.)
I have worked my stupid backside off for this company. I singlehandedly pulled this company out of the mire when my feckless line manager deserted. (I did get a spa day as thanks. Ha.)
I deal with all the little things, the big things, the clients who are relentlessly abusive and stubborn, the ones who shout loudest. I contract the big clients. I contract the little clients. I've done a hoor-load of phone answering both lately and in the past. I've poured heart and soul and energy into this business and what has it got me?
A disapproving boss and a chewing out for not dealing with things "timely" enough. Well, I'm sorry, but you see when I'm sorting out these three groups and that half-hourly and that corporate gas contract and one hundred SME contracts and the terminations for November and dealing with a new system which doesn't quite work and a group deal which is not well prepared and trying to clean erroneous pricing data from the database... would you like me to stick a broom up my bum and sweep the floor while I'm at it?!
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Latest reply: Sep 25, 2007
Further BULL
Posted Aug 13, 2007
Why is it the boss always notices if I'm five minutes late for work, but never notices when I'm twenty-five minutes late leaving my desk at night?
Selective blindness perhaps?
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Latest reply: Aug 13, 2007
Time management tricks and other management bullsh!t
Posted Aug 8, 2007
Priorities. They're strange things.
Will someone please explain to me why the work my boss leaves for me to do must always take priority over my own work? And then when my own work suffers as a result of prioritising the boss's work, I get chewed out for it?
Will someone please explain why it it so URGENT that we must record a new answering machine message, yet our own essential work can be pushed back by niggling little complaints?
Why am I still here? Surely it's not too hard to find another job? (oh, don't you believe it...)
Really I wonder if I'm not expected to be here almost 24/7, working fit to bust. No wonder I've got a clinical stress disorder.
AAAARGH PRESSURE
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Latest reply: Aug 8, 2007
Depression
Posted Jun 12, 2007
I am a binge eater. I eat for comfort.
Generally speaking, I recognise this fact, and do my best to avoid highly stressful situations; or if I cannot avoid them, at least modify my state of mind when it comes to meals. I have failed this today.
I am afraid that I left a job application form on my desk over the weekend. It was not mine, it was my partner's, but I am currently being almost ostracised. I'm actually shaking with the stress of being here. Mt new colleague (the one I predicted would cause me trouble) has just given me the Evil Eye on the way past. I think, although I'm not positive, that he has been pouring poison in my other colleague's ear - hard to tell when someone won't say more than a few perfunctory words to you.
Now, I am looking for a new job, but that's because I find that the clash of personalities is even more intolerable then with my former boss, who was merely intimidated by the fact that I picked up technical knowledge quicker than him. I'm more stressed than I was back when I was typesetting four magazines a month and helping with the admin as we were shortstaffed. Those were long days, difficult, hard work, but pleasant as my colleagues were such a good bunch.
So I am stressed. My hands are shaking, I feel like crying. And somehow I was in the supermarket picking up lunch and, on binge-eater autopilot, picked up two sandwiches, two chocolate eclairs, two bags of sweets, chocolate puddings, and a huge bottle of cola. One of the sandwiches is a healthy choice, but the rest is pure junk, and I can't even remember picking any of it up or indeed, walking back to the office with it.
I think I may go to the doctor and ask him for help. I hate medication though. But it's time to bite the bullet, and I am ill.
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Latest reply: Jun 12, 2007
language
Posted Jun 2, 2007
Ohhhhh dear. Did I use a bad word? Did I offend a sensitive little flower?
Pre watershed language too. Ohhh, dearie dearie me. This is terrible.
Maybe I should be publicly flogged for this terrible transgression against humanity.
Maybe I should just take myself elsewhere where the language is laxer, the people less uptight and many, many threads are marked NSFW.
Because, you know, if you swear when you're angry, even when it's totally justified, you should just be malleted.
Hmmm, another abandoned hootoo page. Fabulous.
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Latest reply: Jun 2, 2007
Lady Magpye
Researcher U8116751
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