h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hmmm... in the kind of fic I write? Dr Maturian wouldn't be exactly dissecting the elf

But that's probably made your eyes water so i'll

yessss....I'd heard than some women are as (ahem) intrigued by man-on-man action as men are by girl-on-girl.

Only in this case, it's man-on-elf.

I've written that type of thing before...
you really DON'T want to know (although, I did attract a gay-fan-base which was intriguing. Apparently male writers handle it completely differently - it's a gap in the market that I should attack, really)

In the same way that by-women-for-women porn is so much better than all the 'Give it to me, big boy' (or worse) stuff.

But then, women can do most things better than men. Our only real talent is for extinguishing small fires without the aid of equipment.

oh I don't know. I was given some of those.. hmm, not sure of the publisher now is it Black Lace? Black Swan?... anyway, I had a peek at some for-women-by-women stories. And frankly they made me laugh!

I'm jealous of your ability to extinguish small fires.

Oh, true. The Black Lace stuff can be awfully twee and/or earnest. I was meaning the stuff with more (ahem) visual appeal.

I don't get to see that type of thing...
Am I missing out?

Not really. But how do you avoid it?

oh I was thinking Porn with a capital P. Well, I don't get out much, for a start...

Jaysus! I can hardly avoid popups. My five year old even ends up on a porn site when he was trying to get to Cbeebies!

I pity people whose leisure activities include stuff like windsurfing and kayaking, becaus when you google 'watersports', you get some *very* disturbing results. ( Is that what you meant by a capital P?)

And it's *definitely* easy to find if you go looking for it. Never hear of youporn? Inevitable, I guess.

I'm more of a reading type of person. I have been more scared by an apparently throwaway sentence in a Stephen King book (after which I've never opened another of his) than by anything I have ever experienced in real life. I have my hair starting to stand on end writing this.

Same with... well, I'm not deeply impressed by porn as such (althouh I love my coffee table book with the arty b/w photos of the nekkid French rugby players) I prefer to read something more in the line of erotica. And then if it is well done - phwoar!

I rarely get pop ups - i have my pc set up like that because they bug me, more than what they show. Although my Gruesomes are more computer savvy these days and need to use it too, so it's not a bad thing.

I was thinking Porn (yes, those types of websites would cover it) rather than the boobs and bums on every German magazine cover and margerine advert. I supposed i'm immune to it now having been here so long.

Strange place, Germany. I went with some friends to see the latest Till Schweiger film. A chick flick during which you have two scenes where he is engaged in oral sex (you get a birds eye view of him between her legs). There were a fair few young-ish kids in the audience.

A couple of days later I mentioned that I want to take my 11 year old to the latest film version (German production so I doubt it will surface elsewhere) of The Wave. It's got a 12 certificate, but she has read the book and I think it's ok.

And everyone is saying: oh my, do you think you should take her to that? there is some violence in it!

Whereas when I mentioned to the mother of #2's schoolmates (they're around 9 or 10) about the Till Schweiger film, she said "yah? so what? a bit of sex won't hurt them"

Like I said Weird. but it probably explains the plethora of all over advertising hoardings. (or is that hordings?)

Whore Dings?

I'm sure the German attitude is better. Good, health sex instead of nasty, unhealthy violence. Plus there are far fewer teenage pregnancies there...yet another statistic which shows Britain to be The Sick Man of Europe.

We've just had the 'We're starting sex education' letter from school, btw. I must remember to have the friendly chat about how it's no big deal. My wife was pregnant with our youngest when my eldest two were five. Our childminder suggested that we might have given too much information when he started talking about seeds coming out of daddy's penis. And then there was the time he came to me all worried and asked,
'When the seed comes out of your penis...does it hurt?'

Meantime:

>>I rarely get pop ups



Have you tried that erotic breakfast cereal, pornflakes?

I bought the Gruesomes a fantastic book about babies and where they come from and how they get there, it's illustrated by someone who does a lot of "regular" children's books. So #2 often takes it up with her for a bedtime read

#1, of course, is far too to listen to her APs banging on (hehe) about sex so she has read it too (but secretly, I don't think I'm supposed to know that)

The Germans do have a healthy attitude towards sex and nudity. But it can often be a bit "in your face" when you're tying your shoelaces at the gym and on either side you have women, one foot up on the bench, getting up close and personal with their body loting. (but then I'm allowed to - I am English after all)

What age do yours get the sex education at school? I was really cross with ours when the Gruesomes came home and told me they'd had theirs.

School lessons here seem to go like this:

multiplication - tick, off to the next lesson ...
...sex ed - tick, off to the next thing ...
... recycling paper - tick...

My older two are 10 - 11 in May. I *think* there is a legal requirement to inform parenta and allow them to opt out. But we had to start earlier anyway: my wife started her periods aged 10.

In fact...there was a proposal by the Scottish Secretary of State for Education a few years ago, as a sop to religious interests, to allow parents a veto over the material used, especially wrt homosexuality. I had a stern letter published in The Herald, from a 'concerned parent', lambasting him for pandering to bigots.

btw...I think we had the same book. Tect by Claire Rayner? Featured a couple shagging in mid-air, supported by balloons?

oh no, this is a German one (despite my bookworm tendencies and my best efforts my two don't particularly like reading, and when they do, they prefer to read in German. Little blighters)

It's aimed at the 8-10 age group, and I really need to get something for #1 because I was an early starter like your wife, and while #2 is the one who takes after me in looks, #1 is the one who takes after me in the "grumpy, moody ol' bag" stakes, and i think it's all related.

She won't talk to me about it at all, so ... she's going to have to read. I should be glad about that I suppose.

Gawd, why didn't they tell me _this_ stuff before I had them?

I've just recalled that I learned about masturbation at a Scout camp, aged eleven, from a Scoutmaster/ Methodist minister who I later realised was grooming us.

Blimey! I learned about Masturbation from Cosmo (natch - Do NOT make the obvious joke. If you don't see an obvious joke, it's time I got my brain cleaned)

That's another good reason for early sex education. It's a safety thing. If we don't do it - someone else will try to. But I personally think it's a disgrace that schools don't teach that it's fun. No mention of the mysterious clitoris.

(No - I didn't see the joke. I must be slacking.)