h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Ed, it's the anniversary week of my breakdown in '93, and I'm not taking it too well. Seem to have slid into a bad depression. I saw my doctor, just last week, and was fine then, isn't that how it goes? May have to contact him again. Not feeling suicidal or anything, just blastedly tired.

I was going to e-mail. having seen your comments on susanne's thread. I'll be able to do tghat from home this afternoon...or carry on here if you want.

First thing to remember: You know this is just something your body does to you. It will pass.

Email's fine, but I could stand a few words of cheer here and now too.

Not worried about lurkers, I've never been shy about this stuff.

I think this depression is my body's way of saying, "Hell, do you know what week this is?Etc."

I know I should be trying to sleep right now, but I slept almost all day, till about 6pm, and literally cannot sleep at the moment.

e-mail your phone no to me, then, and I'll be able to phone from home in about 3 hours.

Meanwhile - the main thing is to remember what's going on. It's not that you're a bad person. The world isn't exploding. It's just that your seratonin receptors are re-uptaking too much.

Yeah - anniversaries do that. Something to do with memories triggering off certain pathways in the brain? Dunno. Try not to dwell. though. Eat a peach. Have a nice, hot bath.

Hmmmm, I'll probably be asleep within 2 hours, so maybe phone call is not the best idea. Sure helps reading your posts though. The depression has been coming on for about 3 days now, and at first I thought it might just be lack of iron in my diet. (Because I've been out of iron supplement for a couple weeks) Today though the unmistakable fatigue and confusion kicks in. Mostly it's tedious. I want to get things done, keep working on my diet, unload the dishwasher, etc. Is this making any sense.

If you can't stay on for now, just send me a nice long email in 3 hours, and I'll tune in when I wake back up.

Will do.

Meanwhile...set youself small targets. Like getting up. Taking a shower. Getting dressed. Unloading the dishwasher...

Will try getting some sleep at the moment. Thanks Ed, talk to you soon one way or another.

Hello, feeling a little bit better today -- a bit more clear headed and such. Thanks for the email.

Still fighting this depression. Bleh. I see my therapist tomorrow.

Damn! I was going to phone you just now, seeing you're still online, but all the meeting rooms I'd have been able to use were booked.

Oh, hello there! Micio is keeping me company tonight, and I see my therapist tomorrow, so all is okay. I think I will also put a call in to my shrink and see if we can go up on the antidepressant and or the mood stabilizer.

I've noticed that my latest batch of antidepressant is from a different manufacturer -- a generic; and I'm curious whether it might not have the same potency as the brand name stuff. Good question for me to ask the doc tomorrow.

I think they're the same. Manufacturers get exclusive licensing for a limited period, then the recipe comes open for others. (But your therapist will be the expert, obviously).

I can think of a more plausible explanation for your being down: You've had a damned hard time lately!

I'm impatient to feel better, so that I can get back into my artwork, and exercise more. Right now I am weak as a kitten, so walking on the treadmill is out. I was about to sign out when I saw your post, so I'm glad I caught you.

Yes, it has been a hard year, but two weeks ago I was doing just fine. I think so much of it is cyclical and seasonal.

PS Have you seen the mandala artwork I was doing just a few weeks ago?

Possibly. Also...things build up. Oftentimes you can be having a hard time but coping, then just as you relax...bam. You've been through an awful lot, hon.

Have you looked into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? It's now a first line treatment over here. It's about recognising your symptoms, looking at the thoughts that are behind them and learning to challenge them. I find it useful when I'm down. At very least, I can remind myself of what's going on - my brain is making me depressed - and all my 'problems' aren't actually what I'm worried about.

I've read some good books on cognitive behavior therapy. And my therapist does some of that -- the focus in our sessions is helping me cope. Less Freudian and more practical.

Post fast...I'm getting sleepy.

Practical is it! That's CBT for you.

Last week I was down south. I popped in to my department's main office and spoke to a guy - I don't know him very well - whose work I'd had to pick up after he'd gone off ill. I'd guessed why he was ill because he had a CBT worksheet pinned to his wall. In his own handwriting he's written at the bottom, "Where's the evidence?!" - a good summary.

(And I made it clear to him that no way should he feel guilty for having to drop his work. I've done the same myself).

Now...get some sleep. It's important.