h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just found this and thought it was funny... had to share it with you guys:

How do you play religious roulette?

You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets struck by lightning first.

lmao! Thats great! hahahaha!!
I got one for ya:
Rashaad, nineteen, was visiting friends when he announced his intention to play the deadly game. He apparently did not realize that a semiautomatic pistol, unlike a revolver, automatically inserts a cartridge into the firing chamber when the gun is cocked. His chance of winning a round of Russian roulette was zero, as he quickly discovered.
I love Darwin Awards!
cheers
ford

Yay! My friend had a book of those - I think it was the Darwin Awards Volume 2.
"Those people who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it."

Hehe I love that quote!
I wanna play Russian Roulette with blanks! :P
cheers
ford

Yeah - and everyone else who was playing it with you had no idea they were all blanks...

That would be ... interesting!
Welp I know what Im gonna do for my next bday party!
Erika says HI!
cheers
ford

Hehe - I'd like to be at that party... sounds interesting
Hi Erika!

:P FUN!!!!!!!!!!
my dad would prolly kill me though!... with BLANKS!
cheers
ford

Your DAD would kill you? With blanks?

?????

That's what I'm thinking...

heh yeah.. I guess you kinda gotta know my dad...
cheers
ford

Yeah...
We have a few guns at our place, but all Dad uses them for is shooting snakes. Which he hasn't done for a while, because it wastes ammo. Normally the snakes will just get caught in the snake nets we have all around our house, and then Dad will just come along and break their backs with a shovel.

AH! Thats so mean! I love snakes! We have rattlers in our back yard... Ive only seen one though, wooo that was a rush!
cheers
ford

The problem with Australian snakes is that the ones you normally get in the bush are big brown ones, which are really long and extremely poisonous... if you don't kill them, they'll probably kill you or your dog or something.

whoa... WEEEEE!!!!!
sorry
poisonous snakes are cool... if they are defanged!
I dont like to kill them though, Id prolly movie it a mile away from the house or something!
cheers
ford

I wouldn't mind having a pet snake when I get older... maybe something like a carpet python. My friend has one and they're really cool

I want a Geko! It has nothing to do with snakes... but I WANT A GEKO!
cheers
ford

Yay! Geckos rule! There are heaps of geckos in Australia. If you like lizards, what about a goanna?
I still want a snake though.

haha... my cats bring in lizzards all the time. Big ones too. Their favorite thing to do is bite off the tale an the back legs leaving only the chest front legs and heads on the carpet. This means the lizzards still have their hearts and arn't dead yet. You think it sounds gross? Try waking up and going to the bathroom to brush your teeth and having a half eaten lizzard try to climb up your leg while all its guts hang out and drag behind it. Yum. *pukes*

You get used to it though. And a couple of times our cats have brought in snakes too. But their normally just gardan stakes (with the exception of a few, who due to the fact that they wre poisones, were left uneated in my bathroom for me to find. yay.) It's the hawks that bring all the bad snakes. We have alot in our yard, snakes that is, so the hawks come and attack them and drop them on our portch. Alive, pissed off, and poisonus. Yay!

I remember when we went to the zoo in kindergarten. They snake lady told us "don't ever play with a snake in your yard. even though only the really bad ones live in Austrialia, they hurt when they bite no matter what" and I remeber thinking "wow must suck for australians.