h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've decided to leave you a message because you're being terribly...well your PS says nothing about you so I've decided to come and rattle the info out of you myself...such as who you are, where you are, what you do, etc etc...

Dont worry if you dont want to talk to me though...I wont hunt you down with a toothpick

katkat

Hi Kat, it is a vague message isn't it, not like me really.
Here goes then, I live in near Plymouth in a little cottage by the sea.I work in social care although at the moment I'm off sick for the summer as I've had to deal with some nasty stuff.
My intersts are limited to what I can do with the kids around. I paint, we cycle a lot and bum a bout on various beaches with surf boards and stuff.
By your standards I'm old (39). Although I'm a bit of a babe, so my kids say!!!!! I'm a single mum which is the best thing in the world.I have a daughter 17 a son 12 and a small and very scrummy little girl who's 5. My eldest is mad as beans, well they all are really . we are really lucky and have a very happy life.
Thanks for asking
Mox

Oh hey that sounds really cool!!!
Im 17 too *rolls eyes*

And you're not old..you're a year younger than my dad and 2 years older than my mam.

What sort of thing do you paint and what in?

kat

God that sounds so weird being older that someone’s Mum !
I paint in oil, mainly abstract stuff which always involves people. Am also partial to painting body parts and have a portrait of my tits on the bedroom wall. My parents told me off for that.

Re my 17 year old, you know you were worried about not doing anything with your life, well she's V intelligent but left school to work in a sports shop. Everyone’s panicking about it saying she's wasting her life, the way I see it, she taking her time to decide what she wants to do. There's no need to rush in to stuff is there.

Im not even working though! I slob around at home being...well right now being fine! But generally being depressed I guess. When I'm fine I find it hard to remember being depressed and vise versa. Which means that when I'm fine I NEVER go to the psych or take my tablets...bet people get really annoyed with me.

She left after her GCSEs?

I think having a picture like that is cool! Besides it's your bedroom! My parents hardly ever tell me off for things in my bedroom and Im living at home!

My parents are fascist, I tend to ignore them now. Luckily they live miles away.

It must be crap when you feel ok I can imagine that the boredom is terrible. The not taking tablets ect is really common. It so difficult to get a perspective on yourself when you're mentally ill isn't it. I rarely advocate drugs but I expect if you could see yourself when you’re down then you would probably want to take them. One day you'll look back and it'll all have been a learning process I expect. That’s how I see all the stuff I've been through.

Yes, she took her GCSE's having spent the summer surfing rather than revising, she did well, not as well as you though

*looks shifty*

Does it say somewhere how well I did?

Yeah , was it that thread about the DLA. Stop panicking, I can feel youre para from here

Hmm....so my 6A*s 4As and a B were noticed
*pulls up collar of trench coat*

You know I still haven't filled out the forms! I've looked at them four times and can't bring myself to! You have to write down so much detail and do it all based on your very WORST days...if I do that it'll sound like I should have a 24 hour a day carer! Of course they won't give me one just more money...but still! I'm not that bad at all! Just...odd and yeah...well right now Im fine...grumble.

anyway...sigh how do I always get the convo to my head!?

Have you got a community psyc nurse , she says with her I'm qualified hat on. If so, ask if she/ he will help you or do it for you. You cant do it yourself can you. Lets face it, when youre well , you think you're ok and when you're not well you're too ill to do it. Other than that loads of charities will do it. citizens advice used to fill them in for people, MIND will do it or ring your local Social Sevices. Failing that, get your Mum to do it.

Do you know what you want to do when you get better ?

I haven't got one of those nurse things. My whole psychiatric help is completely whacked due to my own reluctance to do it. I skipped my last psychiatrist appointment and got sent a snotty letter telling me to come on Wednesday and Im always skipping the doctor and have had two snotty letters from them already!

Can't get mum to do it. I'm doing all this behind parents' backs as dad is one of those people who thinks you should keep problems within the family, make your own way in the world and NEVER be a charity case. Thing is then he spends all his time moaning about not getting child benefits, paying for health care etc...can't win!

I wanted to be a geography teacher. Now that seems a gazillion miles away so I'd like to just hang at home having someone who loves me to eat my meals, with two dogs, a cat, a ferret, a donkey, and two horses. Okay so that's never going to happen but it's a nice thought!

Niether of those are big expectations really. you'll achieve what ever later on.

You're going to have to go to these appointments Kat because at some point, you could get really ill. Then you'll legally have to accept help or to put it bluntly, they'll section you. Try and prevent that, give the pills a go see if they help, its got to be worth a try.

*growls* sodding social worky people!

I'll never be sectioned. Once all the doctors wanted to but there's no adolescent ward anywhere near me and for some reason they didn't put me in the adult one. So I was left to fend for myself, going through weeks of "Okay I can kill myself but first I'll just hang the washing out..." etc.

I hate taking the tablets. I keep stopping due to a variety of reasons. Not only is it the "I dont need anything", it's paranoia about them not working, making me worse, being a placebo, everyone else knowing these things and laughing at me...

Don't want to be the bearer of bad tidings, but soon you'll be 18, which puts you distinctly in adult services.
I understand all the reasons for not taking them. For me as well, its about the medicalisation of the issue and the assumption that sticking a few drugs down you will stop you behaving in a manner which is perceived as anti social or a danger. Is it the illness that’s the issue or is it the behaviour that cant be tolerated by society. Either way, you have to make your own decision about how bad it is. Do you really want to feel so crap that you risk suicide. If there were a chance that these pills might save you’re life wouldn't that be it be worth taking them. I shouldn't lecture you, I very rarely take tablets for anything but on the other hand I have never been in a situation where my life was at risk. I suppose in the end this is about your choice about your life and how you choose to live it. I would just say that when considering your life, if you can, you need to be very aware that we don’t just exist as individuals, we have people around who love us and our choices affect them too. Also one day, you'll look back on this time as an awful but necessary phase in your life path.

*wails*

I find it SO hard to take responsibility for myself!! Which sounds a complete cop-out and I know it is! But it's like...well i can take responsibility for other people really easily and when they need me, even if I'm really depressed I can shove it down and deal with them without too many ill effects.
And saying that not taking the tablets risks suicide...well I risk suicide what? nearly every day? Something stupid like that and I find it hard to remember a time when it wasn't like that. It's practically normal! And of course when I'm not suicidal I can't imagine being suicidal or anyone else being suicidal! Which is really strange! Even your average person can sympathise with a suicidal person but when I'm fine or hyper I can't!
And last night I was so amazingly trig. I HATE THAT WORD! Sorry ahem...I was looking up things about SH and stupid stuff and coming out in cold sweats etc. which is so stupid and boring that I'm uberly unimpressed.

Sorry you dont need all of this

Hello,
how can having suisdal thoughts and an interest in self harm be normal Kat. i know what you're saying, that in your life, you've normalised it but its not normal, its scary. What I'm saying is if you want to prevent feeling like that , then try the pills, if you're happy to carry on with what are probably esculating thoughts around hurting yourself then thats up to you. You'll either kill yourself, get better or come to terms with what evers inside
I know hundreds of kids who do this stuff. Most of them are pretty cool people who are either ill or who have had sh*t lives and are crying out to others.
Life is difficult enough at your age, evrythings mixed up and uncertain without what you are dealing with.

*takes the flower and looks peeved*

I cant decide whether feeling part of a huge chain of messed up people is better than feeling as if im the only one whos ever felt like this...well okay i know the second isnt true but then I feel guilty.
Oh stuff it...i give up *sits in corner and cries*

You're brain is overactive, part of the issue, you're really clever. If you were stupid, you wouldn't be questioning this stuff
You probably are the only one thats felt the way you feel cos you are unique. The thing is that some questions just dont have or really need to be answered, it just doesn't matter , better just to cry I reckon

Yeah but theres nothing wrong with me! I mean Nick has MUCH more to deal with me and Im just making a fuss and am lazy and stupid and oh whatever im moaning to someone i dont know which just shows how much of a loser I am and I dont even normally talk in quite such immature language!

Give your self a break and some times its easier to talk to someone you dont know, you can say what you want then cant you. Do that girl thing and eat some . That Nick is very lucky to have you