h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For the next few months my net access will become severely limited, for reasons of location, inclination and obfuscation. What mockery of justice is this? When but a simple task such as entering an electronic realm is peverted into a slightly quicker version of Teletext. I cant even view lewd images any more as people will peer over my broad shoulders and giggle. Not that I do of course, ahem. The Internet is a sacred inviolate cause that upholds standards of decency and goodness throughout the lands at home and beyond the seas.
Except where it does not. Damn those moneygrubbers and bored computer literate teenagers spoiling everyones fun.

Sorry to hear that, dear Bunnyfrog. We all look forward to reading your amusing, and ever so sligtly deranged postings. I assume it is the internet gestapo that will be restricting your freedom of expression and movement around the world wide super highway? I hate them!! Why should they have the right to quarantine my mail, just because it has the word "bum" in it? The world is going mad.

As restricted and limited as you may be, we all look forward to whatever insane ramblings you may be able to post. All Hail the great and glorious Bunnyfrog.

Glum will really be Glum without the Great fluffy eared web footed creature that is bunnyfrog, don't be away to long.

Lelly, lovely lelly, may you keep that up and be elevated to sainthood. Not the sort where you have to live in a barrel, but the sort where they make statues of you which then get crapped on by pigeons. Not that I want you crapped on by pigeons but there is a certain Truth involved in this affair which negates the use of the capital T for it actually has some physical basis.
Hurrah for philosophy!

Blast you Simetra for posting while I was composing
May you also get a sainthood, but a lesser one than lelly for you do not have the necesary marble chunks handy. Or at least I presume so. Do you work in a marble quarry perchance? That would save some effort.

I have no Marble but I will construct something from paper masche in your honour using only he finest recycled news print pulp and submitting for a chance to win a Blue Peter Badge

I got a Blue Peter badge once, for writing in and telling them all about my tortoise, Polly, who swam in our fish pond and ate fish poo.


I had a bunny once, too, and my Mum always had frogs (she likes frogs, does my Mum!! And tortoises.) I did not get a Blue Peter badge for that, though.

I am speechless at the story of your fish poo eating tortoise, I didn't even know tortoises could swim, don't they just sink?

I think in honour of the bunnyfrog we should now keep this thread alive with posting of the obcure and the sureal, so when he comes back online he will have loads to catch up on, fishpoo eating tortoises certainly qualifies

You would think Polly the tortoise would sink, wouldn't you? In fact, my teacher thought I in fact had a turtle, not a tortoise. But Polly was definitely a tortoise. As were her friends, Lettuce, Tomato and Crusty, who all lived in the garden with her. She escaped in the end, as I recall. In fact, I think they all must have done, unless my Ma and Pa turned them into tortoise shaped dishes or something. Which my tortoise loving Mother would never have done.

I will now contemplate more obscurities, with which to entertain the lovely fluffy slimey amphibian.

I think you could write a whole book about your tortoises, in fact we should make them the subject of the next Glum story game, can't be any stranger than the present narrative

My sister had terrapins once. Not entirely sure what happened to the poor things. Perhaps the attack by the psychotic hare scarred me in a way which has lasted to this day, to produced the monstrous entity known as... Hareterrapin!

is this like Jekyll and Hyde, friendly loving bunnyfrog by day mean and nasty Hareterrapin by night

Welcome back!!!

I was wondering where you had all got to!!

I have never like terrapins - odd looking creatures - not that tortoises are not odd looking creatures, of course. They just seem to have a bit more a personality about them!!

As with the BF conundrum, what part would be hare and what part terrapin? Presumably, this would be the evil Mr Hyde character, so therefore I am guessing the head bit would be a hare, with evil eyes and sharp teeth to bite you with?

I wonder if he may be a Ninja Terrapin, this may well find it's way into the current GLUM tale, which I must say has fallen by the why side during the past week, come on, where are your creative writing skills.

Actually - returning the Lettuce, Tomato, Crusty and Polly - a couple of them were buried under the rose buses in the garden (they were dead before we buried them). Polly escaped and Father thinks the other one was stolen by local children Do forgive me for hijacking your mail Lelly but I am bored this evening

are, the plot thickens, do we now turn this story into a who-done-it, are the gnomes responsible for the deaths of two of the tortoises and maybe for the disappearence of Polly, and what will become of Terry Pinner.