h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Listen up Anthony. May I call you Anthony? No? Tough. Listen up and listen well.

How dare you tell people here that they should all die! Just who the hell do you think you are?!? In my eyes is as hurtful as you can get. I lost my best friend and the love of my life not long ago, all because of some sick twisted person like you told them that they were worthless and should die. You have stooped as low as "him" Anthony, and I'm not sure I can forgive you for even just thinking about it.

You have made an enemy today Anthony.

May you attempt to sleep comfortably in your bed tonight.

July 20, 2004

Lord Valkyrie.

Conversation. Why. You Are Delinquent. Mortal. Obviously.

I Suggest 404 Hail Marys And One Complete Read Through Of The Entire Men Not Gods Website Followed Bi A View Of The Ten Commandments And A Review Of The Glorious Day That The Princess Of Wales Did Marry Prince Charles.

That Is One Image I Shall Take With Me Into The Dark So Filled With Shadow That Is Does Shine Light.

You See. Your Type Is Filled With A Complete Lack Of Control Of Your Common Temperment. Your Talk Of Godhead Is All English And You Have Shown Me No Respect At All.

Indeed Your Failure To Understand That We Do Have Buffalos In Brookfield Zoo In Cook County Illinois. Yes It Would Have Been Better For Your Entire Bloodline If You Had Just Not Placed Another Pixel On This Thread.

Alas...It Is Far Too Late Child As I Am Associated With The BBC And Obviously You Are Not. H2G2 Is Not A Play Ground Full Of Broken Beer Bottles. H2G2 Is A Creation.

What Are You Playing At. What Are You Creating But Evil.

Just Die. When You Do You Will See The Face Of All The Hosts Of Heaven And Off To The Center Will Be Our Good King James Who Will Nod At You And Cry As Your Immortal Soul Is Cast Into Hell For The First Death. But...

That Will Not Be The End Of Your Suffering Child. Chirst Will Cast Hell It Self Into Hades Mighty Hand Upon The Revelations Long After The Impending Ragnarok And That Will Be The Second Death. I Am Lord Valkyrie. Die Now.

"I Drifted Out Of Space Ond Time Ond The Stars Did Reveal Their Birth Ond There I Saw It...A Far Off Land With Distant Shores Ond White Sand Beaches Ond Then I Was Sent Back From Valhalla Until My Task Is Complete."
---Lord "Valkyrie" The 1st---

The Internet Is Evil Child. In The Flesh I Am A 32 Year Old Man With No Wife And No Children Many Friends Many Lovers A Steady Income Assests Rank Standing Station Duties Responsibilities Vision And Allies Of Divinity.

Perhaps I Am On H2G2 For Reasons Of Privacy Might I Be.

Now Leave Me Alone. Billions Of People Will Soon Die.

Odin As Is Mars As Is Allah Is A God Of War Child.

We Are Not Here For Amusement. Had You Phrased It Pick Your Slaughter It Might Have Proven To Me That You Even Had Dignity Worth A Single Euro But The Entire Galaxy You Are Hitch Hiking Known As The Milky Way Sees Now Me.

Please...Go Find Something Better To Do Or Try Again As It Matters Not At All To The BBC Ond Men Not Gods.

K Luv. Ta Now Kid & Merry Christmas In Advance Mortal.

Truly,

Lord Valkyrie

"Now Leave Me Alone."

Good advice. Tatty-bye. **unsusbscribes**

B

June 20, 2004

Lord Valkyrie.

Anthony. Yes That Is One Name I Have Lived With Ond Yes Ultimately I Shall Die Happily And Proudly Valkyrie.

Please Do Not Think Me Unkind For It Is In Truth You Who Is Unkind Toward Us Here With Men Not Gods. Just Die. k.

Hades Will Likely Send You Into The Service Of Legion. In The Service Of Legion You Will Then Learn Dicipline.

In The Interim We Request That You Prepare For Death. k. That Is What We Grown Ups Do And I Am So Sorry Your Parents Did Not Prepare You For The Inevitable.

Death Is An Arch Angel. You Miss You Friend. Good Luv. I Bet That Your "Friend" Misses You And Your Bad Attitude.

I Am Lord Valkyrie. I Do Not Rant. I Do Not Rave. I Do Not Banter. I Do Not Ballyhoo. I Do Not Make Enemies As Enemies Only Make Themsleves Child. Yes...It Is Sunday.

As I Final Note I Sleep In A Sleeping Bag Not A Bed. k.

Truly,

Lord Valkyrie

Snorri:

"Had You Phrased It Pick Your Slaughter" So. You really don't know what "Valkyrie" means?

"We Do Have Buffalos In Brookfield Zoo" hmm. funny, they don't list Buffalo as a part of their collection: http://www.brookfieldzoo.org/ . They do seem to make a big thing, however, out of their Bison.

If accurate vocabulary is considered unimportant, how can one expect any sort of communication?

In friendship,

King Amazon

Folks, I do not think that this Lord V is a coherent person who is just being hateful and baiting people. I think it is much more likely that he is seriously mentally ill, maybe manic. I've been manic before myself in the past, and the pseudo religious references and grandiosity all fit that pattern. I do not think he is in a clear state of mind that he can be reasoned with at all.

>In The Interim We Request That You Prepare For Death.<

Guess what Val, I have been preparing for it for decades now, or at least thinking about it for that length of time already... I do know that one day I will cease to exist and do not fear it... I would be annoyed if that happened before I've managed to do most of the things I want to do [or at least finish most of those entries/articles of mine which are still "under construction" first] but that's how far my worrying about it goes... That's why all your talk about death doesn't really scare me...

>That Is What We Grown Ups Do And I Am So Sorry Your Parents Did Not Prepare You For The Inevitable.<

Really?!... The events surrounding the death of my Grand Father while I was still in my early twenties are still fresh in my memory and have influenced the way I think and behave even now... Not having a dad, he was a father figure to me, so he did actually prepare me for the inevitable... I would have preferred he hadn't though and that he would still be alive... or, at least, [as I know now that no-one lives for ever unfortunately] that I would have been given enough time to redress a certain situation and reassure him before that final day...

If Death is an Archangel, then I sure would like to have a word or two with him... The death of my Grand Father has robbed me of the ability to be happy and screwed most of my life... What was the deal with that for Pete's sake?!...

I have the feeling that the death you're referring to is a more wholesale kind of death [the mention of WW3 being a clue perhaps?!]... You know what, Val?! If that saves us from years or even decades of hurt and pain of having survived our dearest ones, it might not be that bad after all...

Oh, and thanks for nothing for having brought back some painful memories... I sure needed that right now...


loup.dargent

June 20, 2004

Lord Valkyrie.

It Is Now My Dinner Hour.

I Did Not Come To H2G2 For Conversation. Only To Write.

The Topic Has Yet To Be Addressed But Will On Monday.

Please. Take The Time To Visit Us At Men Not Gods, Luv.

I Say Please Because It Is You Who Has Forgotten That I Am Him, Lord Valkyrie. So, I Know What Is Ancient About Myself And I Know What Is Current About Myself As Well.

Mortals: Six Billion Of You. Every Convention Has Been Given To You Only So That It Can Be Taken Away Much Like A Child With A New Object That It Find Facinating. I Am Sorry But You Will Simply Have To Find Someone More In Line With Whatever It Is You Seek Because I Seek Not.

With All That I Have Written You Still Bother To Reply With So Few Words And I Assume You And Yours Commoners As Far As I Can Tell And Not Polite Enough To Move On.

If You Can Not Move On At Least Pretend To Be More Than A Cyber Moo-ron Will You Not. Pretend That You Have Real World Knowledge Because As I Have Stated Just Die Now.

Take Your Virtual Friends With You To Hell Infidel. You Are Insulting Rude And Have Not Done A Tad Bit Reading On Who I Am So Just Go Do That.Men Not Gods Is Mine.

I Mean Really Wake Up Now. Watch The News And Try To Prepare For The Worse Which For You Will Be The Death Of Your Perspective When The Worst Actually Happens As It Did Here On The Homeland. That Date Again Is September 11th 2001. I Do Not Care For You Nor Any Of You Really.

Not Every One Individual Is H2G2 Nor The BBC So Go Away.

Everything Is Being Recorded Bite For Bite Bit For Bit And Pixel Bi Pixel And Just Look At The Things You Write.

My Use Of Profanity Is My Own My Business Not Yours. Ya.

Good Day. Good Evening. Good Afternoon. Good Night. Ok.

Try To Use High Technology To Better Yourself. As If!!!

Buffalo Not Bison Bison Or Buffalo You Are Just Lost.

Truly,

Lord Valkyrie

Hey people, have you not got it yet? This bloke is not on the same f***ing planet as the rest of us. Trying to reason with him, trying to speak to him as you would to the rest of us, is like trying to juggle soot or nail milk to a wall - it can't be done. Our Lord V is either a complete f***ing nutter, someone with a serious mental condition, or he's completely sane and very, very clever.

Whichever it is, we should all leave him the f**k alone to dribble in his own corner. Clear enough?

"I Did Not Come To H2G2 For Conversation. Only To Write."

Sorry, but the whole point of H2G2 is to discuss what we write. If you don't want Conversation, don't post your writings here.

"Please. Take The Time To Visit Us At Men Not Gods"

Done it. Read it. Doesn't make any more sense there than it does here.

"With All That I Have Written"

Lots of words, not much meaning. Your loquaciousness obfuscates what sense you might be intending to convey.

"Watch The News And Try To Prepare For The Worse Which For You Will Be The Death Of Your Perspective When The Worst Actually Happens As It Did Here On The Homeland."

Where to start? I suspect I see a peck more news than you get there in "the Homeland". It isn't "The Homeland", bigot: Maybe it's your homeland, but it sure as hell isn't mine. Sorry, but a little less than 3000 dead isn't "The Worst" by a long shot: The perspective that thinks it is The Worst is the perspective that really needs to die.

I hope that one day your eyes will be opened, Dough-man Carrion-Picker (I figured I'd translate your catchy name into English for you).

"I Know What Is Ancient About Myself And I Know What Is Current About Myself As Well."

Get off it: you don't even know what your name means.

June 21, 2004

Lord Valkyrie.

1. Liar Liar Pants On Fire. Men Not Gods Reads You Fool.



2. I Have Noah Webster's Dictionary You Dick And Olde Irish Celtic Druidic Grammer...



3. WE WISH WE MAY WE WISH YE NO MIGHT MAY AMUN RA GRANT OUR IRISH CELTIC DRUIDIC WISHES THIS VERY IMMORTAL'S KNIGHT LIKE NIGHT...

We Find Your Lack Of Faith Pure Evil.

"If Ye Mortals Will Not Accept Your Fate Then You Will Meet Your Destiny As We Knows We Are Valkyrie Lover."
---Lord "Valkyrie" The 1st---

Obviously You Failed To Do Your Hail Marys. Infidels.
Good Enough For MeGrow Up. Bigot. AS IF.

Lord Valkyrie

"Olde Irish Celtic Druidic Grammer"

You mean "Grammar", right?

Such a text would be wonderfully helpful if you had been spending any time working with Gaelic. But, of course, that's one language you haven't bothered to butcher yet.

"My Motto: Be Well. Be Safe. Be Love. Believe."

Your motto is something you should take another look at: all you've been on H2G2 is hate.

regards,

Queen Henry

>If Ye Mortals Will Not Accept Your Fate Then You Will Meet Your Destiny<

Val, you do sound like the Borg, you know...
Shame that you don't look like Seven of Nine though...

Hmmm... Can I play Captain Picard's part?!... After all, he is French like me...
[I have more hair than him though...]

loup.dargent

Just 21, 2004

Lord Valkyrie.

Here And Now Nearly Willing To Take You To Court For Slander And I Now Not Only Hold You Liable I Also Hold You Accoutable. Lucky For Me I Know Labour. Hate. Never.

If You Would Kindly Stop Winding Yourself Up Yobber You Will See That It Is You And You Alone Who Is Beyond Equal In What You Are Attempting To Do Here On The Good Old BBC BBCI H2G2. Hate. Prove It Now Or I Will Take Action. Do You Hear With Cyber Ears. I Am Not A Toy Lad.

Now...I Do Suggest You Reply With Some Bit Of Education.

That Is All. If You Had The Chance To Shake My Hand Not.

Truly,

Lord Valkyrie

Sorry Gosho:

I didn't notice the simulpost until this morning.

I fear you are correct.

Dough-Man Carrion-Picker:

Go ahead. Take Action.

You've spent the past few days calling us all retards and yobbers and "ordering" us to die while appropriating various ethnicities, cultures and histories, pretending they're your own (with less than a passing knowledge of any of them) and thereby insulting countless people around the world. And you have the audacity to claim "love" as part of your "motto"!


(Personally, my motto is "ad convivio semper parata", but that more to do with housework than bacchanalian pursuits.)

Val... That would help if you could put the name of whom you're replying to, really...

loup.dargent

Oh dear where to start!!

"I Suggest 404 Hail Marys" thats only going to work for the Catholics

"A Review Of The Glorious Day That The Princess Of Wales Did Marry Prince Charles." Oh sweet a royalist!

"And You Have Shown Me No Respect At All." Respect is earned

"As I Am Associated With The BBC And Obviously You Are Not." Does the BBC know this yet?!

"H2G2 Is A Creation." Everything that exists has been created.

"Just Die." I will one day, but not today

"Will Be Our Good King James" Who?


"Chirst Will Cast Hell It Self Into Hades Mighty Hand Upon The Revelations" Ah, now Christian references

"Long After The Impending Ragnarok And That Will Be The Second Death. I Am Lord Valkyrie." Now Norse references. As a pagan I know many Norse practitioners and we are all in agreement that the Norse Ragnarok has already happened. What do you think the first millennium was?

"The Internet Is Evil Child." It is not intrinsically evil.

"In The Flesh I Am A 32 Year Old Man With No Wife And No Children Many Friends Many Lovers A Steady Income Assests Rank Standing Station Duties Responsibilities Vision And Allies Of Divinity." Thats nice

"Perhaps I Am On H2G2 For Reasons Of Privacy Might I Be." I don't think so.

"Now Leave Me Alone." You go away first then.

"Billions Of People Will Soon Die." Thats life

"I Am Lord Valkyrie. I Do Not Rant." I think you do.

"I Do Not Rave." Oh yes you do

"As I Final Note I Sleep In A Sleeping Bag Not A Bed." You can sleep in a sleeping bag and a bed at the same time you know, its not against the law!

"It Is Now My Dinner Hour." Ah lovely

"I Did Not Come To H2G2 For Conversation." But that is what h2g2 is for.

"Only To Write." Does that mean you will write soemthing interesting and useful one day?

"The Topic Has Yet To Be Addressed But Will On Monday." Can't wait

"Please. Take The Time To Visit Us At Men Not Gods, Luv." I had a look, well done at managing to use less capital letters. Grammer only requires them for some words you know.

"I Say Please Because It Is You Who Has Forgotten That I Am Him, Lord Valkyrie. So, I Know What Is Ancient About Myself And I Know What Is Current About Myself As Well." You are only 32, you are not ancient yet, don't be so down on yourself.

"With All That I Have Written You Still Bother To Reply With So Few Words And I Assume You And Yours Commoners As Far As I Can Tell And Not Polite Enough To Move On." I don't notice you moving on either.

"If You Can Not Move On At Least Pretend To Be More Than A Cyber Moo-ron Will You Not. Pretend That You Have Real World Knowledge Because As I Have Stated Just Die Now." Is moo-ron a joke on cows? Its not very funny isn't it. Why not try another joke without picking on living creatures this time.

"Take Your Virtual Friends With You To Hell Infidel." Don't believe in hell.

"You Are Insulting Rude And Have Not Done A Tad Bit Reading On Who I Am So Just Go Do That." And you are not insulting and rude, every other word is a swear word, and your website is much worse.

"Men Not Gods Is Mine." Believe me you can keep mennotgods, no-one wants it, it is not very interesting.

"I Mean Really Wake Up Now. Watch The News And Try To Prepare For The Worse Which For You Will Be The Death Of Your Perspective When The Worst Actually Happens As It Did Here On The Homeland. That Date Again Is September 11th 2001. I Do Not Care For You Nor Any Of You Really." I have woken up and I watch the news, I hadn't forgotten the date of 9/11, and bad though it was, it wasn't the worse that can hapen.

"Not Every One Individual Is H2G2 Nor The BBC So Go Away." Ah bless, cheer up.

"Everything Is Being Recorded Bite For Bite Bit For Bit And Pixel Bi Pixel And Just Look At The Things You Write." I know, and just look at what you write!

"My Use Of Profanity Is My Own My Business Not Yours." Its our business when we have to read it, try using a theasorous, there are lots of other words to learn.

"Try To Use High Technology To Better Yourself. As If!!!" Oh I do, I write websites for other people.

"Buffalo Not Bison Bison Or Buffalo You Are Just Lost." Whatever

"Olde Irish Celtic Druidic Grammer" That book doesn't exist. Do you actually know any Druids. As a pagan I work with some. Do you even understand what pagan spiritual beliefs are? You quote the names but seem to know no substance.

"We Find Your Lack Of Faith Pure Evil." Lack of faith in what, you give us so many choices, you have quoted Islam, Christianty, Catholism, Norse, Druidism, Eqyptian and maybe I missed a few

"Here And Now Nearly Willing To Take You To Court For Slander And I Now Not Only Hold You Liable I Also Hold You Accoutable." Slander for what precisely?

"Lucky For Me I Know Labour." I am afraid we do to, they run our government

"If You Would Kindly Stop Winding Yourself Up" actually we are winding you up, like a toy, wind, wind and watch it go.

"Prove It Now Or I Will Take Action. Do You Hear With Cyber Ears. I Am Not A Toy Lad." Wind, wind

"Now...I Do Suggest You Reply With Some Bit Of Education." You go first

"If You Had The Chance To Shake My Hand Not." Oh grown up!

Kaz, that's managed to put a smile on my face again

Hi there Fluffy Warmthighs, glad to be of service! Maybe its wrong but its so funny. We could have a go on all the other convos as well!