This is me...

Now not only updated but completely revised.

Welcome to the domain of the Lyniezian, possibly the slowest gun in the North-East (of England), though this has not been verified, and a "Researcher" who has never written an article. Yet.

So, you may ask, what does "Lyniezian" mean? And why do I refer to myself thereas? Well, basically it's based on the name of an imaginary country (Lyniezia, unsurprisingly, which is pronounced 'Ly-nee-tsee-a' or 'Ly-nee-see-a' depending on which local accent you prefer) I've had since childhood (tho' when it started it had a name which would rather give away my identity). And tho' there is no real place, I thought it sounded a cool enough name, sort of a Wild West feel I thought, to use as an alias. Which would be unsurprising as it seems most Lyniezians share views which are (or were) similar to my own.

But enough of this self indulgent drivel, which even to me is a bit ridiculous and may be deleted. On to the old-fashioned facts.

They are:

1. I am human. (Or at least, I think I am.)

2. I am really British.

3. I am no longer a student at Durham University, having stupidly gone and graduated too soon.

4. I am resident somewhere in the North-East of England, still. This is clearly the best place on Earth-erm...perhaps not, but the one in which I feel most at home (exceptions being the Lake District and North Yorkshire).

5. I am a Christian, though perhaps not the most shining example thereof. Still, I would like to recommend knowing Jesus, however, as a. who else can get rid of your sins? (pretty much everybody has them) and b. He's certainly offered me hope in an otherwise seemingly pointless world (as it seemed one afternoon in 2003 anyhow).

6. Other 'aliases' (among others) are Spaceman, Gonzo, Boy and Spotted Dick (the latter 3 being nicknames given by my Dad and only one roughly relating to my name, not that I reseemble a pudding mind you, but referring to my state when a teenager.) Please note that I did not choose these myself and would rather not be referred thus, unless I need humiliating which I probably do. Maybe.

7. I have rather a habit of being lazy, which accounts for my degree, why I have never yet written an article, and waste time on the internet contributing to stuff like this rather than looking for a job.

8. I am probably unreadable, due to the impossible length of my sentences, (a ridiculous number of brackets), and the overuse of certain ridiculous words, thuslike. C'est la vie...

9. I think I am now a Thursdayite. (Though I am seriously thinking of defecting to the Thingistes, but don't really bother that much with h2g2 nowadays to care.)

As for the rest, and whatever Guide entries I may (hypothetically) write, watch this space (as they say).

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Ace visit... Mar 15, 2004


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