h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Al....HELP

I've got a mouse!!! No, I haven't seen it, but it's eaten a hole in the bag the potatoes were in and it's eaten half a potato!!!
A few years ago I went away for Christmas and left a bowl with walnuts on the dining-room table (as you do, they stand there for a year, don't they?)
Well, when I came home I found a walnut in the sitting-room and another one in the kitchen. Couldn't imagine how they got there and then I saw this little mouse looking at me from behind an arm-chair. I imagined the fun it must have had playing with the walnuts.
Bought some "mouse-friendly" traps, the idea is that you catch them and then can take them somewhere else to release them. Put in cheese, next morning, the cheese had gone, the trap-door stayed open.
"Peanut-butter" said friend, "that's what they like". Yes, pieces of bread and peanut-butter were gratefully received, but the mouse was just laughung at me.

Then, after a few days, having thrown out the walnuts and anything else that might interest him, I opened a cupboard in the bathroom where I kept a supply of tablets of soap. Well, all the wrappers were shredded and all the soap had gone, just a few thin slivers left.
The mouse must have been foaming at the mouth, I never saw it again.
Hope this one disappears as well..and soon. Shall I put some soap out, do you think?

Did you win the quiz last night?

I've been gardening all day. Feel knackered!!

See you again soon

Hi FLY,
Little buggers,mice !I've found that the best thing to do is stamp on them..that seems to do the trick. No, only joking. I'm a big burly bloke, but I hate to go hunting for them. I don't like it when you move something that they are behind and they dart out at the last minute...Silly isn't it really, they are so small and are absolutely no threat to you at all.Happy hunting.

We came second in the quiz last night. We only won £12 worth of drink vouchers, so as you can imagine it is hardly the prize money that we are after.There is one team there that we call the 'Smart Arses' They take it really seriously, so if we beat them that is satisfaction enough...they came first as usual
Went to the pub this afternoon to watch Villa beat Chelsea. Four pints of best bitter, and a victory over a London club has rounded off a very pleasent EasterWhen you come to weigh it up, I don't demand much of life do I?

Would seriously like to rip into SC on the boards. The man is such a ....?(you know what I mean don't you?)I have to hold my temper otherwise other boarders will feel towards me,as I do towards him.GRRRRRRRR!!

Early night for you then, being as you are knackered?

Goodnight FLY

Fondest wotsits

AL XX

Hi AL,

Just been to the CB and I'm proud of you. You said all the right things in a very dignified way .Good for you. I kept wondering whether to join inbut I get so furious with him I can't find any polite way of saying: "Why don't you sod off? Can't you see nobody wants you here?" But I don't think it'll make any difference. But that's the coward in me. My husband used to heckle speakers and it made me feel embarrassed. I said: "Why do you have to do that?" He said: "It makes ME feel better". Good enough reason.

Can you understand how anybody can boast about striking and skiving, what a mentality that bloke has. God, I do wish he'd disappear. He must have plenty of enemies, I suppose that's why he has to stay indoors all the time.I can't believe I'm sitting here wishing somebody'd set about him.

Yuk!
Now I'm in a foul temper too.

No good going to bed early, I still wake up after a few hours. Last night I nearly got up to see what was going on at h2g2 that time of the night,(3.00) but unlike the CB boards, you can't actually see if anything IS going on. So I stayed in bed. Besides, it was cold, I thought.

I must go back to the CB to see if you're still there.
Poor Mike and poor Dr Who. Mike is such a lovely chap, isn't he?

Cograt. on coming 2nd in the quiz and congrats with Villa's win. If only you can win the battle with SC we'll all be happy.

See you soon.

Hi FLY,
Last day off work..sun shining here..should be outside 'doing' but can't get motivated..nearly 11.15 am and sitting here,still in my dressing gown..unshowered, unshaven...not a bad life is it?

Oh FLY, keep meaning to ask you..Where did you get your little emblem that you sign off with..? I know that you're not a witch, but it does illustrate FLYBYNIGHT very well.

Did you sleep well..or was it another of THOSE nights...? I am NOT being rude but, do you sleep better when TCL visits?I thought perhaps you may feel safer if someone else is in the house( not necessarrily in the room)Ignore that if you feel it is too personal...although it is not meant to be!

I say, there are a lot of people with problems on the boards isn't there.Do you think that Dr. Who has been treated as badly as he says, or do you think that it may be his admitted paranoia? Either way he seems to be a man who is suffering.Mike does seem to be a nice man, but I find it hard to muster any sympathy for SC.... perhaps I am too hard.

Well I really must make an effort....just one more and then I'll start!!!!!!

Speak to you later maybe.

Fondest wotsits

Al XX ( no this isn't me is it?...do they do one for an old bloke?)

Hi

First things first. By the way, I expected you to be at work, not lolling about like me. I'm "chilling-out" to-day. Like you, should be out in the garden but I woke up more tired than when I went to bed.
Of that later..

My emblem, yes, I thought it looked like a flybynight, although I don't know where I got that from. I had to find a name, panicked and that came into my mind. The reason I panicked was that my first post was under my real name and when I saw it there, I wanted to change it as fast as I could.

Have a look at the smileys.
Above that you'll see (in blue) Full Smiley Index. Click on that. I can't remember where mine came under, I have had a look a few eeks ago, but gave up, there are so many, very time-consuming.

When you find one, you have to type in: (for mine) . Daft, isn't it? (When I pre-viewed the message, of course, my example came out as my emblem, never thought of that.

No, I don't sleep any better when J. is here. We have separate bedrooms, after all this time being on my own I don't think I could share a bed. And..he is worse than me. Wakes up at 2-00, then at 4-00 then at 5-00 and doesn't sleep again but puts the radio on. So, when we say good-night I snuggle down into my own bed with ear-plugs in and a sleeping-tablet.
Of course, during the evening he gets sleepy. More problems because I am a night-person. And normally he doesn't drink but when he is here he keeps up with me,that makes him even drowsier.

One evening I persuaded him to have one of my tablets. I woke up thinking the roof had fallen in. He had woken up and got out of bed thinking he was at home and crashed into the furniture and was lying wedged in between the bed and the dressing-table!!!

I never worry about feeling safe, you can't prepare for everything anyway. My husband always slept in the nude and if I said: "Did you hear something?" he flew out of bed and ran towards the stairs. I don't know how he would have beaten off any burglars in his vulnerable position.

I read a book where the woman went to bed with a condom under her pillow every night, in case a rapist got into her bed!!!
"Hang on a minute"!!!

I was disappointed to see this morning that Perkins seemed to thank Shellay for making light of things last night. I know he means well, he tries to keep it all lighthearted, but Mike was obviously upset. As for Dr.Who, he worries me, he seems to be "on the brink" all the time. Goodness knows what it all means. And did Shellay mean she'd been a police-woman when she said she'd been with "The Firm" for 20 years? Wouldn't surprise me, actually. She scares me!!!
As you say, there are a few people with problems there. Interesting though, isn't it?

Look, are you getting dressed or what?

Me, I'm going to the garden-centre and buy a spade. I want to dig a deep hole for a large plant that's in a pot and keeps falling over.

See you soon.

Yes, you've shaved now. Lovely.

Good luck with the smileys.

See you soon.

Hi FLY,
Dug the hole yet? The story of my life that is...never know when to stop digging..gets me into all kinds of trouble !!

You noticed that I've spruced myself up then? Would have been too much to be talking to you STILL unwashed etc.Like your husband I sleep bare(I love that word, it's so....well....BARE,... there I've said it again)
We often wonder what would happen if I confronted a burglar. I'd have to hope that he/she had a sense of humour!

I posted with my real name at first. I carried on with it for a few weeks, but I always felt vunerable for some reason.Much better like this as long as it's never 'sinister'.
How long have you been a widow? Don't know why I asked that,it just popped out. Ignore me if you want, it's none of my business.
Why does Shelly frighten you.I must admit I rarely join in with her threads, although I think that I had a bit of fun with her( you know what I mean)before she changed her name.I think the thought of SC hovering puts me off.I don't know if you have seen the R2 board today..the Mod reckons that he is on his last chance...Pigs might fly !!!

Can't find a smiley that illustrates my personality, so I'll have to go without.

Have a nice evening.

Fondest whatsanames.

Al XX

PS Liked your 'Hang on a minute!!!'

Hi

I don't like "bare" so much, makes me think of big, hairy, grizzly animals. "Naked" sounds much more sexy, I think. Anyway, that's me!I have been a widow for just over 10 years now, although some days it feels like only yesterday.

Yes, I was watching R2 this afternoon and kept my fingers crossed that this time he'd get his comeuppance. But, what's so amazing, nothing daunts him, he's back in the CB large as life and twice as horrible.
I've just about given up with the boards. It must be that I'm getting old and crotchety but I don't find any of it funny any more. Can't be bothered with the "Radio Reynolds" or Briants "do's". Must be me, I suppose. Pity, because I was really hooked on the CB and couldn't wait to join in every day. But, nothing lasts.

You gave up quickly looking for a smiley, I'll have a look and see what I come up with.

Until you asked if I'd dug the hole yet, I'd forgotten all about going out to buy a spade. Went to the supermarket first to get some shopping, met a friend, had a coffee and Danish and went home, didn't give the spade another thought!!

Yes, Shellay used to be good fun and would be so again, without SC. I didn't know she used to have another name. How long have you been posting then?
I remember when I first came along I was intrigued by your name, I may be wrong but are you very forgetful? That's how the name sounded to me and it made me giggle.

I saw on the news that some young girl was being stalked by a chap she'd been "chatting" with on her 'puter. He got her e-mail address from a register. But surely she must have given him her name and address, don't you think? You sound just like me, it's the anonymous thing that's so attractive, isn't it?

What do you mean, you never stop digging? Do you tell lies and dig yourself into trouble and then dig yourself in deeper and deeper? Or are you digging for gold? Or for the truth?

God, I feel fat, I made a bread and butter pudding, it was lovely, but I ate too much of it.

See you again soon.

Take care.

Hi FLY,
I don't like the word BARE because I think that it is sexy, I just like it because it is funny and a bit juvenile.There are far better words for the other.

I thought it was just me who didn't like Radio Reynolds etc.It's all too fast. I think that some of it is funny; but I never feel that I want to join in.I suppose that I have been posting for about 18 months or more(time flies doesn't it?)I think that Shelly used to be Bonnylass, although I may be mistaken.

The name, like yours was a spur of the moment job, no, I'm no more forgetful than anyone else of my age(can't remember how old I am at the moment)

None of the smileys suit me. I suppose I'll have to change my name to FLYBYNIGHT or something.

I don't tell lies, in fact sometimes I tell the truth when I shouldn't, and when I see that I have possibly offended someone, I start digging, and it only makes it worse.

So you've had a Danish AND a bread and butter pudding..and why not? I love all the stodgy things, although I had a false alarm heart scare a few years ago, so I try not to eat too much of the wrong things. Given a free hand I can INHALE stodgy food; favourites are Steak & kidney pie,Spotted Dick,Bread and Butter Pud.Pork Pie, Black Pudding,sausage rolls, you will notice that there isn't much sophistication here, just bulk!..War baby you see...making up for the lean years.
I thought that you had been widowed more recently than 10 years..I don't know why..you just seem as if it wasn't so long ago.From what you say at times it doesn't seem that long to you.

Must fly. One or two things to do before I go to bed.

Wotsits

Al XX

Hi my Cyber friend,

I wasn't implying you were forgetful or anything, it was just that your name made me smile, perhaps I pronounce it wrong!

Yes, I like all the stodgy things you mentioned, except for Steak & kidney pie, I absolutely HATE kidneys, they smell like pee to me.

I love black pudding, in Holland they don't put pearl barley in,but bits of fat..delicious.

I don't know, so much rubbish is talked about what you should and shouldn't eat, I take very little notice of it all, although I like things I've cooked myself so that I know what's in them, I don't like all the chemicals etc. in ready-made food. For me, fish and chips is the ultimate treat. LOVE chips, but not the Oven-cooked variety, although I do eat them, but they're nothing like the ones from the chip-shop, all soft and lollopy and lying in a puddle of fat. Cooked in dripping..so much the better.
My friends are horrified about my addiction to chips, but they'll gladly sit down to buttered crumpets, toasted tea-cakes with lashings of butter,biscuits and cakes...
Me, I like chips and lovely squashy jam doughnuts.
Gosh, feel hungry now. And what do you think I had for lunch??? A banana.
Saw you on R2 yesterday. What a brilliant Host they have on there, could do with someone like that on CB. I've never seen a host on there, have you?
Did you see the thread about"Organs from the Netherlands". Well, needless to say, Scott was off again. (It was this morning)

Who is Loudon Wainwright? What is his music? Country and Western? Must ask J. when he phones to-night, he knows more about music than I do.

Yes, I'm also too truthful for my own good. They call it "outspoken". I don't always notice it. A little while ago I'd been to a party and a friend told me afterwards that the host had said: "Catharina, she's a woman after my own heart". I asked her if she knew what he meant and she said: "Oh, because you say what you mean." Well, of course I do. Oh dear, did he mean: tactless?

No, I couldn't find a smiley for you either, even if I don't know you personally, none of them seemed to fit.
You would have to be Mr.Flybynight, that would make things very interesting. People would talk!! Although I have the feeling nobody reads these threads, I may be wrong of course.

Have a couple of friends coming in for a cuppa. We're going to sit in the summer-house, how elegant is that???

See you soon, I hope ,(had a feeling I'd offended you in some way)

FLY,
How could you possibly offend me. I think I have said before somewhere that I do not offend easily.Hope you had a good time with your friends in your summerhouse;my I get to meet people in the BIG league don't I? (ha.ha...only joking)

Went to R2 before you(saving the best 'till last)I must admit 'Organs from the Netherlands'made me think of the obvious...Oh God..I've got something in common with SC...I see Dr. Who & Ken Pollard say that they are quiting the boards as they feel that there is too much censorship by the Mods..SC then jumped on the bandwagon and said that he was thinking about going too...well, we've heard that before haven't we.(Have you noticed how much we discuss that ....?) Loudon Wainwright is,what you would loosely call, an American folk singer.He is not to everybodys taste, but with me I just think that he is fantastic.Having said that, I don't like all his music,but his bitter sweet songs are mostly excellent........Right, put the soapbox away...Chips and jam doughnuts? what together? Is that some Dutch delicacy? Well I do like to find out about foreign food !!!I sometimes buy a half ring of black pudding on a Saturday morning and eat it like a banana while I am driving along!How gross is that? You can't take me anywhere.

Wonder if anyone reads these threads? Strange how nobody else joins in isn't it? I can't believe how many yards of posts we have sent to each other without anyone interupting.Perhaps h2g2 has folded, all the building has been locked up, and there's just you and me locked in...spooky!!!

Is Catharina your name or your friends?

When J rings, do you still go bandy-legged?

I'll leave these questions in the air until the next time!!

Fondest 'things'

Al XX

Hi Al,
Had a look at the CB and actually joined in for a few minutes. Just when I posted my wittiest bit the board closed and now it's gone forever.

Yes, I know: "The Organs from the Netherlands" would make everybody get ready for a joke, but I'm getting paranoid with SC. as soon as he posts anything I'm angry.

What he actually said was that he was finished with R2 and was now going to spend his evenings in the CB. Aren't we lucky? What amazes me is how people try and talk him out of leaving. But whatever he does, I wonder if everybody will come back anyway. Maybe there'll be just you and me having a good old moan about it all forever. Ad SC will still be there long after we've gone.

Eating half a ring of black pudding like a banana? I've never heard that before. Must try it. In Holland theysell a larger version of black pudding, sliced, to put on sandwiches. It's called "bloedworst" (blood sausage) Can't understand it's not recommended more, must be good for you, I reckon, don't you?

It was J.'s turn to phone me to-night, but for some reason I had been thinking of all his faults and I felt irritable and was quite nasty to him. He keeps telling me how much gardening he's done at his ex-wife's bungalow which the children are going to sell and I said (nastily). "Your leg must have improved a lot since last time you were here, because you couldn't even put my wheelie-bin outside. Let alone do any gardening."
I can never keep my mouth shut,I have to let it all out. ..Well...
I feel hard-done by. Can you tell by the tone of my post?

Yes, had a good chat etc. with my friends, the summerhouse is all glass and lovely and warm this time of the year. Far too hot in summer.

Has Loudon W. made any CD.'s? If I buy one what should I look out for?
I won't blame you if I don't like him, but I'm curious.

Am eating a Snickers bar. Aren't I naughty?

Are you sleeping any better yet?

Day out with another friend tomorrow. I need her advice about some new plants, so many have died during the winter, I'm such a bad gardener, I neglect things. Friend tells me off!! Look at that! When did you last feed it? And this one hasn't been watered for weeks!!!!

Speak to you again soon.





CATHARINA XX

Hi FLY,
Did I send another message to you last night? I wrote it out at around 1 am this morning after returning from carousing with the lads,but I cannot find it on this board. I hope that I didn't send it as I try not to post when I have had a drink...sometimes you say things that maybe are misunderstood....not that I think I did that last night.

Speak to you again later perhaps

Wotsits

Al XX

Hi Al,

No, you didn't send a message last night, more's the pity. I'm dying of curiosity now, want to hear what you sound like when you're in your cups.

I came on here to-night to tell you THE NEWS.

Scott has gone! Banned.
The message came up both on CB and R2 boards, sent by Nick Birse. (Don't know how he got involved). The message stayed on for about half an hour and then disappeared.
We were told that he won't be allowed to post on BBCi, but if anybody wants to contact him, he'll be with Radio Rewind, where, apparently, they are more sophisticated (!) and are allowed to give out e-mails addresses.
Dr Who has already been on to say he is in contact with SC and Briant thought SC certainly had livened up these boards.

Hope you'll have a look here to-night, so that you'll know what's going on.

Shellay will need a new sparring-partner. Do you feel up to it???
I shall watch with interest!!

See you soon,

Catharina

XX

Hi Catharina,
First of all it feels strange that FLY has left.....may have to bring her back !!!
So glad I didn't speak rubbish..I mean any more than usual...it's not a pleasant experience according to Mrs. Z.
Are you sure that SC has gone? I have had a quick look over there and I saw that he has called hmself something slightly different...trust him!!! I don't think that I am in the mood tonight. What I saw of the boards didn't seem very interesting. I may give it a rest for an hour or so.

Don't put my name forward for Shelly !!!She would be too demanding...it wouldn't be any good for her to have someone that would rather sit and watch the sea, or eat iced cream, than have to 'perform'

Once again, I may see you later.

Al XX

PS I take it that his voice no longer knocks you bandy?

Hiya,

That sounds sooo sweet, sitting there watching the sea and eating ice-cream!!! Did th e half-ring of black pudding make you thirsty?

Saw you on CB just now, nothing funny came into my head. Damn.

Yes, that post SC put out was just immediately before he got banned. I think it was Jason who said he'd made a funny reply to it and it was held up for an hour and that must have been when they were contemplating SC's future.
I think all the threads connected with it all disappeared.

Do you miss Fly then?

I had a lovely day with all my Dutch mates. We were so lucky, the sun was shining and we sat in West Dean Gardens in blouses, lovely and warm.

No, the voice doesn't do it for me any more, I'm too resentful. Mind you, I don't think he's noticed.

Going to have another look in the CB now, see if anybody has come back with a new picture for you.

See you soon

XX Fly

Sorry FLY, I missed you on in the CB...I put that thread up(Out of boredom)and being as there was no immediate interest I went to watch Have I Got News For You? came back and there were 5 replies, from you and Jason, but the board was closed..Ah well, there's always tomorrow.

Did I tell you that the black pudding has to be eaten cold..and preferably have lumps of fat in it....Yummy!!!

The voice doesn't do it eh? There seems a lot of baggage with that relationship....guess I'll never know how much.

Have a mental picture of Dutch girls sitting in the sunshine dressed only in blouses......!!!

Catharine is a nice name, but you will always be FLY to me

See you

Al XX

Hi Al,


Blouses and clogs, of course!!

XX

Have you had a look at the R2 MB? "Bring back Scott Clout" is the cry.

Hard to believe, isn't it?

I'm bombarding you now, three in a row!But I've had a look around Radio Rewind and when you click onto a post of SC this picture comes up, I think it must be him. Wish you'd have a look, or can't you be bothered?
You have to register but I was curious to see what it was all about.

Off to my chicken casserole now.

See you soon.

XX

Hi Fly

Bombard me , bombard me, as much as you like !!

Have been out all evening. Got back for a few final shots on the CB board.Is it my imagination, or are posters having FUN on there tonight..was sorry I missed most of it!!

How do you get Radio Rewind. I tried earlier today to find it but had no luck....Go on FLY, what's he like?...is he a nerd?

I can't believe that some posters are calling for him to come back. Just think what that must be doing for his already inflated ego. I wonder if most of these posters are like him; just using the boards to get up other posters noses..sad, sad, people.

Have to say ,Blouses?..Yes !!
Clogs?...no !!

How did that casserole slip down?

Very, very, fondest Doo-Dahs...

Al XX