h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Earth High Schools.

Posted Sep 21, 1999

High Schools in the NW region of the United States.

Earth High Schools... quite a paradox in themselves

You would expect it to be 'higher learning' thus 'high school' 

But no, these particular high schools tend to move along at the pace of the slowest link. The missing link if you will.

The curriculum consists of the following:

Literature:

Teaches how to read and write like the teacher tells you to. Limits creativity and endorses acting just like everyone else.

Math:

Number crunching. Taught in one fashion, regardless of the reality of different learning styles.

PE:

Teaches you what a smelly armpit smells like. Entirely worthless. Can you tell that during my reasearch, I was the one always picked last for the kickball team?

History:

Very interesting, but taught in a way that is exceedingly boring... my recommendation: Less 'revolutionary war' stuff and more 'guillotine' stuff.

Computers:

Taught by the most incompetent person that the school district can find. Can you tell that during my reasearch I frequently helped the computer teacher work his computer?

Woodshop:

You can make weapons in it, which is fun, and you can also learn what your own blood looks like sprayed against a white wall.

The rest arn't even worth mentioning, which readily explains my opinion of their value to you.

The conclution about Earth HS: Stand it until you can move out and go to college, which is much better. (Preview: the professors and students actually WANT to be there!)

-Your humble researcher, 70% water.

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Latest reply: Sep 21, 1999