h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This weekend was not good.
After it, I have decided that men are terrible specimens and should be done away with.
They awful, really.
If you disagree with me, don't try give your views, because I am biased and will not listen.
All I wanted was some fun company this weekend.
That's all.
You would think that I had asked them to move a mountain the way they were trying to get away.

Well, Lance spent the whole of last week describing his prowess in the bedroom with this new girlfriend of his. Every day, regardless of the fact that I did NOT want to hear about it, he insisted on explaining EXACTLY where she'd left teeth marks.
Ok, ok - so he's in love - Ahhh sweet.
I just do NOT appreciate having photo's of him and his girlfriend in bed in their underwear mms'ed to me at insane hours of the night!!!
Who ever decided to put cameras on cellphones?!

And Mark is ignoring me.
I know he is.
I texted him on Friday.
He did not reply.
His phone's on contract, so it's not that he was out of credit.
His phone IS working, coz I called him the next day on private number to check, and he answered.
He confuses me...
Some days he calls me just to see how I'm doing and when we see each other he hugs and cuddles me, and other days he ignores me and acts as though I've never meant anything to him.
Sod.

Cuan would have hung out with me this weekend, but he's moved to Durban to live with his boyfriend. That's a bit far to travel...
I miss him!


Peter spent Saturday in court.
Hmmmm...
That's not exactly my idea of having a fun time...

Even Brendan, this two-year-old kid I was baby-sitting yeaterday morning messed his nappy THREE times in ONE hour!!!
And I REALLY don't like changing smelly diapers like that!

And Bruce is definately the king of all @$$holes!
Recently, every time I've seen him, he starts lecturing me about something or other. He's starting to sound more like my father than my friend!
It probably has something to do with the fact that he's been going out with Sarah and wants to start settling down now. Practising for when he has his own kids.
JUST DON"T PRACTISE ON ME DAMMIT!!!


So I thought I'd go over to Derrick's place...
That was fun while it lasted, but then he chased me out because I was "too distracting".
He was practicing for one of his hairdressing exams he's got this week and had long blonde wigs strewn all over his bedroom which he had done into different styles. After a while of watchiing him delicately snipping at the hair of the next helpless wig, I attempted some general conversation and was promptly informed that if I HAVE to stay and watch, could I rather keep quiet because I'm too distracting and he'd rather I leave so that he can concentrate.
Derrick, you earned jerk status with flying colours!


Last resort: Evan's house...
Parked on the pavement and called from my cellphone coz he has one heck of a long driveway and I wasn't in the mood to walk ALL the way up it only to find that he may not be there.
Anyway, he was at home, so I said I'd be up in two minutes...
But Oh no! He has a headache! AND a fever! AND he's throwing up!
Awww, Ev! That's terrible! I'll come look after you honey - rub your back; make you some tea...
No don't! He says. He'd rather not pass this bug on to me since I have to be at work on Monday and all... - What a sweet thoughtful guy!
And that's when I heard it over the phone. Not one, but TWO distinctly female giggles.
Go rot in hell, Evan.



Back home again, feeling hurt, angry, lonely, depressed, lost... So I turned to the one male object (all my possessions are female, but this is the exception - it is male because it is a b@$t@rd, but I love it ) that so faithfully is ALWAYS there for me whenever I feel like this.
I closed my bedroom door, took out my Swiss army knife, sat down in a corner with a roll of bandages, and him and I got on very well together...

Oh Laudy

Oh Laudy, im so sorry!


Men are THE WORST species in the ENTIRE world...

And we should kill them all!

We arent all complete b*st*rds, granted a lot of us are.... insensitive and thoughtless is just genetically inherent in us, but some of us can control it better than others.
Tell me you dont hurt yourself too badly!

*hides*

Not all men surely?

I can lift and carry things really good!
And I smell alright too!

Awww Cal! You're not one of them!

You can stay!!!

And AD can stay too!
And MF!

Actually, I don't have a problem with any of you guys on hootoo...

It's the ones in RL that must stay out of my way!

*Nods*

Thanks

Starange maen friends you have then, Id have you round in a shot!

You can't shoot Lauda!

V funny Lil

Couldn't resist.. sowwwy!

Well resistance is oten futile where m concerned!
SO how the devil are you anyway and what thinketh you on the Git factor ot those of my Ilk. (self and others here aside of course)

right, some of those guys I can kinda sympathise with, but others, like that last guy, the one with the two women. That is just soooooooo wrong... and it's unfair I never got two women at once

I was once married to one who would beat that lot hands down..

I am now married to a man who has no equal..


Laudy!!

I hope you are keeping an eye on this thread... because I can't access my emails atm.. blasted thing is playing up!.. I will get back to you asap.. promise....

Well I can see your point TB but even so I think they are all sh*tty for no real reason. Cant be symapthising with the first ar the last one, they are just the ubersh*tes! And givr us all a bad name!

Lance - love does strange things. But yeah, insane hours of the night aren't fun for other people (I've not a problem 'cos I put my phone on silent).

Mark - he might have to pay extra for texts. My friend on contract does. He might be trying to save money. It's like a credit card - they don't necessarily run out but that doesn't mean you use them non-stop, does it?

Cuan - not really done anything wrong, so I assume you don't hate him.

Peter - well he might have done considering the court thing, but ditto.

Brendan - that's just nature.

Bruce - yeah, I know how you feel, but sometimes my mates have to really drill things into me to get me to do the right thing. You don't seem to need it though. Just tell him how you feel and he might stop.

Derrick - I wouldn't want somebody distracting me before an important exam, and it's unfair of you to expect him to be OK with you doing so. That's not fair on him.

Evan - @$$h01e.


And I'm not *that* bad, honest.

I agree Lauda - blokes can be right idiots. Perfect example being that one that showed you the photos. WHY!?!?!?!?!?

I went out with this eejit a few years ago who would drop into conversation names of girls he'd previously been turned down by. Never knew why. Didn't last long anyway. Thank goodness!

exactly . the Photos. No respect for you or his girlfriend! (or himself for that matter!)