Projectile Gerbils designed to confuse at 150 paces! (aka the recent ramblings of a moron)
GOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING PLANET EARTH!!!(my apologies to everyone who worked on the movie Good Morning Vietnam, a superb flick b.t.w.) We are here to warn of a new menace threatening our beautiful and generally unconfused state of mind! "WE" are the coalition to protect the sanctity of the NATURALLY confused, and peace-loving, idiots of our fair planet (or C.T.P.T.S.O.T.N.C.I.O.O.F.P.), and this menace is a new weapon designed by Greenpeace. This nefarious weapon was designed by and for greenpeace for the single purpose of artificially confusing the unconfused citizens of this confusing planet we call earth. By artificially confusing the kind and gentle plebians greenpeace has both degraded those of us who are naturally confused and threatened our existence by introducing a more aggressive and generally smarter species of confusion. Not only will this weapon be used to confuse the unconfusable masses but it could have more negative and deeply sinister applications as well, it could be used to confuse entire nations priming them for domination by the Kings of the Konfused: Greenpeace themselves.
know what to look for: this dialbolical weapon is characterized by a bass drum-like noise when fired. It's dimensions are: 10 inches by 8centimeters. It is in the shape of a hammer and it fires specially designed gerbils that whiz through the air and explode at random into extremely mind boggling bursts of light and ketchup. As if that wouldn't be enough to confuse most people 2 out of every four rounds of ammunition work in reverse, so they start as bursts of light and ketchup then contract into a gerbil-projectile and slam back into the weapon with the sound of a bass drum played backwards.
that's enough for today kiddies, tune in next week for more warnings of impending confusion and general disaster.
><> <=greet the fish!
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Larry The Gnome
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