Journal Entries
*regretting that she even tried*
Posted Apr 7, 2005
Why did I think I could do this? It's only the second day of trying to quit my self harm and I am in tears, shaking and pissing everyone off. 
I can't do this! Why did I think I could? It was stupid of me to even try... F*** I'm such an idiot.
*rocks back and forth in her chair while shaking, certain she'll give in before the night is out*
Discuss this Journal entry [308]
Latest reply: Apr 7, 2005
General update on the wonderful world of me.
Posted Apr 6, 2005
Hello all.
I wish it would hurry up and be Friday as last night I convinced my mum to let me sleep over at Michelle's for the night then. I don't know how I did this, I had to endure some interrogation, and my mum trying to give me lectures and then forgetting what she was saying. I ended up giving her a geography lesson, which was well needed because she thought Canada was a state of the US. So when that was all done, she agreed. So as long as I don't piss her off between now and then, on Friday I shall be going to Michelle's, and then going to Carina's party with Michelle, and then returning to Michelle's and staying the night. WOO!
Anyway... a friend of mine is trying to quit smoking, and we sort of decided that in addition to the attemot to quit smoking, I would kind of try to stop hurting myself. So it's a joint effort of quitting... if that makes sense. Day one and I'm already finding it hard. *sighs* Oh well... I'll manage it, somehow. Wish me luck!
Also, a couple of weeks ago my family and my brother's girlfriend all joined a reasonably new gym called Genesis 'cause it's the gym my brother's friend goes to and we all thought it would be fun. I really wanna stay motivated with this so I can become thin and pretty and wear nice clothes, instead of all my clothes looking exactly the same and never wanting to go clothes shopping 'cause nothing ever fits unless you go to a store for fat people in which case you feel humiliated 'cause there's a special store for you. 
Nya! So yeah... if I ever say that I was planning to go to the gym, but then decided I couldn't be bothered, tell me off, ok? Coolies.
Speaking of the gym, I'm about to go there in about 5 minutes with my sister to meet up with Tara and we're gonna do a couple of classes. I know I'm going to be totally humiliated, but I don't care. But my sister just dyed my regrowth and did it in a hurry, so now I need to use nail polish remover to stop my skin from being stained! *sighs* Frustrating.
Ummm... I am not sure if I have anything else to say, but I don't have time to say it anyway. So goodbye everyone, I'll see you all later today. *kiss*
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Latest reply: Apr 6, 2005
Michelle joined h2g2!
Posted Apr 2, 2005
My wonderful girlfriend Michelle has joined h2g2!!! YAAAAY! And so it is of course my duty to advertise her. 
*sweeps you all to her personal space* U1460500 *dances about*
Discuss this Journal entry [54]
Latest reply: Apr 2, 2005
Danielle wants to rant.
Posted Mar 15, 2005
Danielle just read over an old journal entry of hers that was in third person, and it made her want to write another third person journal entry.
Danielle is enjoying her homeschooling, she supposes... although German is difficult because she is used to being able to get the German teacher to explain things more clearly if she needs them to do so, but now she is having to try really hard to fully understand everything... it's very much so time consuming.
Danielle should be doing some school work right now, but isn't really in the mood to think about anything. Danielle sighs.
Danielle went to Pushover with Michelle yesterday, it was fun, but Danielle is kind of burnt now. Danielle went on her first roller coaster with Michelle yesterday, and has decided to never go on a roller coaster ever ever EVER again.... scary. And Issi (Michelle's friend) was in a bad mood for most of yesterday, which was kind of annoying, but Danielle didn't care because she loved being with Michelle.
When Danielle got home she felt very ill and had a huge headache, she found it very hard to get to sleep and ended up sleeping all day today. She still felt sick when she got up, but didn't have a headache anymore. Danielle was then having a sad conversation on MSN with a friend of a friend, which then made Danielle sad, but she couldn't do anything about it 'cause yesterday before she left, one of her blades fell out of her pocket and her mum saw it and made Danielle turn out her pockets and hand them over to her before they left, so Danielle ate a slice of cake that Rebecca had made earlier. This just made Danielle feel fat and ugly, so she made herself throw up. Her throat still feels weird now.
Danielle sighs and wishes her mum hadn't taken her blades... Danielle needs them!!! When Danielle took them her mum asked where she gets them, Danielle just shrugged and Danielle's mum said "So you buy them." and started to say how she shouldn't let Danielle out, ever... Danielle didn't like the sound of this. But Danielle is hoping that her mum will forget her plots, so the next time Danielle is shopping without any family member, she may buy some new sharp things. But she rarely ever goes shopping. She sighs. Perhaps next time she sees Michelle she could ask her for one of her things, as she once offered to give her some of hers.
This blade thing couldn't have happened at a worse time, as ealier in the week due to Danielle's siblings walking in during certain acts and her sister running off to get mum, which lead to a long session of Danielle avoiding questions, it has put her mum in a mood for trying to get information out of her. And the blade falling out has reinforced that. Danielle is going to have to avoid her mum now. Danielle hates it when she has to avoid her mum because she gets really paranoid about everything, and she is paranoid enough to begin with.
Danielle wants to spin around in her chair but knows this will make her dizzy, so she doesn't. Danielle is now trying to figure out what music she should listen to to make her head feel clear... she needs some musical advice... Grrr. Danielle really doesn't like the mood she's in. Danielle wants some more people to be online on MSN for her to talk to, as she only has one person talking to her right now.
Danielle is sorry for the rant... she just needed to complain for a while... she is now remembering some other things she wanted to mention here, but doesn't want to annoy the good people of h2g2 any more.
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Latest reply: Mar 15, 2005
Ow ow ow. *pouts*
Posted Feb 21, 2005
Ok, so I went downstairs to spend some time with my brother and his friends like I promised my brother I would. And they needed me to help them cook popcorn in a pot as they didn't know how. So I was cooking it, and holding the hot pot, and my brother pokes me in the side! This then causes the hot pot or popcorn to push against my tummy and burn me. So I had to go and try to somehow run water on my tummy in the sink without it getting everywhere while also trying to help Blake finish cooking the popcorn without ruining it.
So yeah.... now I have a horribly painful burn on my tummy that is pissing me off! I hate burns, it's my least favourite kind of pain. If I go two seconds without having something cold on them it drives me insane, so yeah, they're a terrible inconvinience, which is why I hate them ever so much. *wonders if there's anything she can do to help it not hurt other than shoving cold stuff on it*
Discuss this Journal entry [262]
Latest reply: Feb 21, 2005
manson_rocks - When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.
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